AnastaciaRose's Blog Last Post: 761 days ago   
Something to think about.
Oct 23, 2007 | 2:12PM

*The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the
 water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how
 things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s:
 
 
 
 Most people got married in June because they took their yearly
 bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they
 were starting to smell, *_*so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to
 hide the body odor.*_* Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet
 when getting married.
 
  Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the
 house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other
 sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies.
 By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it.
Hence the saying, *_*Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water..
 
  Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood
 underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the
 cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof *_*When
 it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and
 fall off the roof. Hence the saying,. *_* It's raining cats and dogs.*_*
 
  There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This
 posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings
 could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a
 sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. *_*That's how
 canopy beds came into existence. *_*
 
  The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt.
 Hence the saying, Dirt poor. The wealthy had slate floors that would
 get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on
 floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added
 more thresh until, when you opened the door , it would all start
 slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway.
 *_*Hence the saying a thresh hold. *_*
 
 (Getting quite an education, aren't you?)
 
 In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that
 always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added
 things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much
 meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the
 pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes
 stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. *_*Hence
 the rhyme, Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in
 the pot nine days old.. *_*
 
  Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special.
 When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off.
 It was a sign of wealth that a man could, *_*bring home the bacon.*_* 
 They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all *_*sit
 around and chew the fat..*_*
 
  Those with money had plates! made of pewter. Food with high acid
 content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead
 poisoning death. *_*This happened most often with tomatoes, so for
 the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.*_*
 
  Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom
 of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, *_*or
 the upper crust*_*.
 
  Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would
 sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone
 walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for
 burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days
 and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see
 if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding *_*a wake.*_*
 
  England is old and small and the local folks started running out of
 places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take
 the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these
 coffins,
1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside
 and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would
 tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin
 and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to
 sit out in the graveyard all night *_*(the graveyard shift.)*_* to
 listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, *_*saved by the bell or
 was considered a dead ringer.. *_*
 
And that's the truth...Now, whoever said History was boring ! ! !
 
 Educate someone. Share these facts with a friend* *...*
 




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Chinese Proverbs
Jul 06, 2007 | 2:15PM

I've been to quite a few Chinese restaurants but I've never had any of these in any of my fortune cookies!! Confucius must have had an off day, if he were to have written these. Not!



> CHINESE PROVERBS
>
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
>
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> Man who run in front of car get tired.
>
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> Man who run behind car get exhausted.
>
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
>
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give
> wife upright organ.
>
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways
> going to Bangkok.
>
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> Man with one chopstick go hungry.
>
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
>
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
>
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
>
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best
> thing on earth.
>
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> War does not determine who is right, war determine
> who is left.
>
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in
> cat house.
>
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at
> night.
>
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to
> fill it.
>
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
>
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
>
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> Man who live in glass house should change clothes in
> basement.
>
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
>
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
>
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
>
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> Now send it to 10 or more people.
>
> Nothing will happen but 10 people laughing?.?
-- 
"Those who give up their liberty for safety will surely lose both." --Benjamin Franklin

 


 



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When I'm 100, If I Lean A Little, Let Me!
Jun 19, 2007 | 2:18PM


>   >
>   >The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheel chair, where
>   >the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.
>   >
>   >Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she could write notes
>   >when she needed to communicate.
>   >
>   >After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning
>   >off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her
>   >up, and stuffed pillows on her right.
>   >
>   >A short time later, she started leaning off t o her left, so
>   >again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.
>   >
>   >Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again
>   >grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.
>   >
>   >A grandson, who arrived late, came up to Grandma and said,
>   >"Hi, Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?"
>   >
>   >Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the
>   grandson. . .
>   >
>   > "They won't let me fart."

 

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Kelly Clarkson / My Favorite Song
Jun 13, 2007 | 7:53PM
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Bad Day At Work
Jun 09, 2007 | 8:32PM

If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize
it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for
Global Divers in Louisiana . He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've
been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not
so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As
you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit.

This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered
industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the
air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.  What I do, when
I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods
my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it.
This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my
back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.  As I climbed out of the water,
the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it
on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job." Now whenever you
have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
BY-BY Be GOOD !!
Jerry



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Happy Memorial Day
May 27, 2007 | 4:16PM
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Valentine
Feb 09, 2007 | 8:46PM

Click on the video in the About Me as you read this special blog to my husband.

Take a look behind us, Love.

I want you to see what I see.

Look at everything we've been through

simply so we could find each other and be together.

We're so much stronger and wiser,

so much more patient and open to compromise.

Take a look ahead , Love.

I want you to look forward as I do

to a string of tomorrows-

real-life tomorrows, not the fairy tales we believed in when we were young.

We know that we have much to discover and that we can help each other grow

to be the happiest,

most fulfilled people we can be.

Take a look into the twilight of our years,

still holding hands, still smiling

at the fortune

that led us to one another.

Look at me now, Love.

Can you see in my eyes how deeply I care for you,

how grateful I am to have and hold you,

how tenderly I regard

this beautiful life

I could only create with you.

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Dear Mr. President - Pink
Jan 28, 2007 | 3:48PM
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One Woman's Week at the Gym
Jan 23, 2007 | 12:31PM
 
Dear Diary. .
 
For my 50th birthday this year, my husband (the dear) purchased a week of
personal training at the local health club for me.  Although I am still in
great shape since playing on my college tennis team 30 years ago, I 
decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named
Joe, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model
for athletic clothing and swim wear. My husband seemed pleased with my
enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to
chart my progress. .

MONDAY

Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well
worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Joe waiting for me. He
is something of a Greek god - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling
white smile. Woo Hoo!!  Joe gave me a tour and showed me the machines.
He took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill. He was alarmed that my
pulse was so fast, but I attribute it to standing next to him in his Lycra aerobic
outfit. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics
class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Joey was encouraging as I did
my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole
time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!

TUESDAY

I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Joe made
 me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air -- then he put
weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made
the full mile. Joey's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!!!
It's a whole new life for me.

WEDNESDAY
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the
counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a
hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer
or stop. I parked on top of a geo in the club parking lot. Joe was
impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members.
His voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when he scolds,
he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.  My chest hurt when I
got on the treadmill, so Joe put me on the stair monster.  Why the hell
would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by
elevators?  Joe told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said
some other s#*t too.

THURSDAY

Joe was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin,
cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half
an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes. Joe took me to work
out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the ladies
room. He sent Muffy to find me. Then, as punishment, he put me on the
rowing machine -- which I sank.

FRIDAY

I hate that d*#k, Joe, more than any human being has ever hated any other
human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic little
cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without
unbearable pain, I would beat him with it. Joe wanted me to work on my
triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the
floor, don't hand me the #*@&! barbells or anything that weighs more than
a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and
nutrition teacher.  Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the
drama coach or the choir director?

SATURDAY

Joe left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice
wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing him made me want to
smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even
use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the
Weather Channel.

SUNDAY

I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and 
thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my
husband will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a
hysterectomy.

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What If God Had Voice Mail?
Jan 15, 2007 | 7:09PM



Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following:
 
Thank you for calling heaven.
For English press 1
For Spanish press 2
For all other languages, press 3

Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for request
Press 2 for thanksgiving

Press 3 for complaints
Press 4 for all others

 
I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:
God, press 1
Jesus, press 2
Holy spirit, press 3
To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven press 5, then enter his social security # followed by the pound sign. If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code 666.

For reservations to heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers,
3:16.
 
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other planets, please wait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics.
   
Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today, please hang up and
call again tomorrow.

The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.
     
If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor.
Thank you and have a heavenly day.
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AnastaciaRose  

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Hi, My name is Jessie Jane. I live in South Florida. I want my blogs to touch people and educate and hopefully make a difference. "Aspire to inspire before you expire."