You make me sick!!! Who me? Yeah you, have you ever really just looked at yourself? Yeah, when I have to why? You know, your really pretty cute and your really funny but you make me sick!!! Can you believe that anyone could say such a harsh thing to me? This happen to be the conversation between me and a pretty attractive younger woman this 4th of July weekend.  You see me and Katrina decided to take all the kiddos to the swimming pool and then on out to the lake to celebrate the holiday weekend. Since I no longer have a swimming pool to call mine anymore I figured the local pool would be an okay type deal. When a woman says, "dear, it's going to be crowded".....listen to her because she is probably right.  But....we load the ball team up:  Cheyne D., Cheyenne, CheyLee(my ex was nice enough to let me have them even though it wasn't my week) Cadence, Malakie, Ethan and lil Austyne Shain.  Man O'live when we got there the POOL WAS LIKE FLOODED with rug rats, the kiddy pool that is and seeming all of our kids are like under the age of 3 the kiddy pool is where we needed to be.  So I holler, "load up"...lord god did this cause mass destruction. So we all pile back in the vehicles and to the store we go. I get out and go make my purchase and back to the pool we go. I had a plan!!! **Wink**. After about an hour watching all the children fight for the their place in the pool I decide to implement my plan...still being the only one that knows what is fixing to go down. So I stand up and say, "everyone out of the pool....EVERYONE OUT OF THE POOL", as they all climb out I explain that I have to add this solution to the pool that will steralize the pool as well as make the water red when lil bodies [censored] in the pool. **Snort**.  Believe me I am getting some pretty bizzare looks, not only by parents but the kids as well.  Then after about 45 minutes I holler, "everyone out of the pool....YO BUTT MUNCHES everyone out of the pool". Again, they all climb out including the adults that find the kiddy pool the perfect place to bathe their fat asses in the sun and take up the kids space... but I had a plan.  After everyone is out I SET DOWN in the pool by my little lonesome and all this red stuff starts trickling out of my shorts....I stand up and said, "HEY IT WORKS".  Good gosh you should of seen the people clear out and the ones that didn't wasn't in the pool long after that because I think the parents got tired of running back and forth to the bathroom!!! Anyway, this pretty attractive younger woman I spoke of earlier stands up and ask if I had really ever just looked at myself. After she gets done chewing my ass, my 20 year old daughter and 32 year old momma get done with me, the male spectator makes the statement of the red food coloring stains on my legs and the teenage girl that tells her mother it looks like I  started my period I was quite pleased with myself because at least the kids was getting to swim and play now.  But back to this pretty attractive younger woman...she just won't let it go....so I begin to be apologetic and sweet and whatever whatever and she finally calms down we start really talking pretty civil with each other. Getting these strange looks not only from Katrina but Courtney too they are now starting to figure out that I must be up to something. Damn, right I am. I've lived, I've learned and I have decided that you treat others the way you want to be treated ...especially when it is a woman.  This cowboy will not get suckered again I can rest you assure of that. I have wisened up when it comes to the female breed but I guess a divorce and other down hill female floods will do that to ya. But anyway, I'm chit chating with this lady, Adrianna, and I notice that she has a ring on her finger. I ask her about it and she tells me she is engaged to a wonderful man BLAH BLAH BLAH. Perfect!!! As the time goes by I invite her and her son to the lake for our cookout...holy cow she accepts my offer. How cool is that?  Once we all get to the lake we have a blast with jet ski's and all that jazz and when the smoke started coming off the ole burgers every tom, dick and harry showed up!  WOW. But hey Adrianna is holding firm with everyone. Then my ex and her boyfriend shows up to get the kids and I invite them to go ahead and stay so that his kids can play on the jet ski's and have some fun too. They accept my offer as well. WOW, how cool is that. I'm suchhhhhh a nice guy. As night is closing in Adrianna ask me what I was doing the rest of the night."  I'm SCARED NOW but it is going great...so I start macking on her a little and you know blah blah blah and I slide the ring off her finger and ask if she can forget about what's his name for a little bit. She thinks that she just might be able to do that and then I crack the ole whip.....I look at her  with "that look", you know the one that says I wanna have sex with you kinda look and say in a whisper, "have you ever really ever just looked at yourself". Needless, to say the night ended with me getting the dog [censored] slapped out me but that can't hurt as bad as in forgetting to get your engagement ring back from the man that took it off your finger before you slapped him. Good thing I'm a nice guy otherwise think how painful it would be in me delivering the ring to the man that give it to Adrianna!!! OUCH.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Hope you had a great 4th of July weekend and really  just look at yourself before you make judgement upon others because more than likely you have done just as bad if not worse than they have. Have a Blessed day.....................Chey