Man O' Man!!!  I don't even know where to begin but the holidays are over with. THANK GOD!  You know me and Katrina took off shortly before Christmas and done some sight seeing and several activities. We made it to Pidgeon Forge, TN and caught in on the Christmas Dixie Stampede, it was pretty awesome. We seen several X-mas light displays that was just out of this world. It was so amazing.  Just beautiful!  I was more amazed at the age of 32 than I was, at like 5, when I seen X-mas lights.  Anyway, we had a really good time there and I  had several things planned ahead of time. We made like this huge loop from TN back home, like a 3000 mile loop. I had like "no ass at all" syndrome when we finally reached cow [censored] patty Oklahoma.  I think I literally had this impression on my butt from setting on a Skoal can for so long!!! WOW!  But, anyway we hit a trail ride in Missouri which was quite the adventure. We get to our trail destination and check in, do the paper work and register, right? Right. I'm looking around scouting out other participants of this fine ride and there was NO one. So I ask the young feller if we was the only ones signed up for this  ride. He told me there was another couple that was going to be brave enough to mustard the cold and the weather too. Basically he was calling us all idiots I do believe but you know what I work in worse weather so Kiss My A** city boy.  We pack our horses down and away we go on this 2 day journey. About 2 hours into the ride and not very far down the trail this man and his wife say, "you guys ever rode horses before?"  Um, yeah, why? "WE AIN'T"!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH holy [censored] Kat woman and I'm looking at Katrina and she's looking at me and we're both shaking our heads.  At this point I was trying to determine if me and Kat should smoke these people and let them tend to their little selves or tag along so if they have problems then we can help out. WHAT to do, What to do?  Well you know me, we decide to stay & tag along since this particular trail we chose was rated a 4 star and stated in bold letters VERY CHALLENGING.  Keeping in mind we're all on horses none of us knew or ever ridden before. Oh man!  As night nears its end we decided to pit stop,  build a camp fire and heat up some hot dogs & porkin' beans on the camp fire. Me and Buck venture off to find some fire wood while Kat and Bess tie up the horses and tend to them. Everything went pretty well until later that night.  I had taken a small handgun with me, one that will literally fit in your boot and never be seen and I had laid it on the ground next to our sleeping bags and blankets. Actually it was laying up on an old stump and I left it there just to let it be known to our guest that I will shoot your dumb ass if need be. But they were really nice, igornant non-horse riding folks and really didn't expect to have any problems. Anyway, I venture off into the woods because I had to go to the bathroom if you know what I mean and I hear BOOM.  Holy cow, I'm running back to camp tripping all over myself trying to get my britches up and hollering at Katrina.  When I get back to the camp fire Buck, Bessie and Kat are all looking at each other in this startled state of mind. Buck has this blowed up cigerette in his mouth and a hole in the bill of his cap. He looks at me and says, "dude that is a real honest to god gun!!!" NO [censored] sherlock what in the hell did you think it was? "I thought it was one of those gun looking fire starters or cigerette lighters!" Oh my god, dear lord help me please. No, you idiot it had a hollow point .22 shell in it!!! THANK GOD no one was hurt. Anyway, that is enough about that story. Long trail ride made short...we all survived with a whole lot of humor and adventure. I ain't never going on another trail ride with honest to god city slickers again. Nuh Uh.

Then, after that adventure, we went and gave our hands a try at snow skiing in the CO mountains. Whew, that was scarey but way fun. I started out on the bunny slopes on a tire tube looking thing and then inched my way over to a little more difficult slope. Should of stayed on the bunny slopes with the kiddies, much more safer.  Keeping your feet adjusted and positioned is way more difficult than it looks. I  literally raped this woman from the back side and off the ski slope. Man, I was  heading down hill fast and in every direction but the right one apparently. I was hollering the whole way down for someone to stop me but I guess no one had the heart to jump out and grab a 220 lb wild man on ski's. Poor woman took the blow when I had no choice but to grab her or the big big big pine tree that someone just so happen to plant in my runway. Dude, I hit her like a bag of cement, literally swooped her up and when we both hit the ground she was in my lap and we was heading over the edge. OH MY GOD, we hit the edge of that slope and down we went.  No one was hurt, THANK GOD, and when we finally stopped I just fell back in the snow and started making snow angels. She was a really nice lady, all she had to say was, "You know for not knowing you at all I had a really good time on the slopes today".  THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY??? We could of died lady!!! Anyway, me and Katrina took her and her friend out for dinner that night just so I could continue to be humiliated and continue to apologize I think. I don't know. She probably went back home saying, "I ain't ever skiing with city slickers again!"

Anyway...that was really a low down of our holiday adventures. All in all we had a really good time but THANK GOD we're home.

Oh, yeah. I forgot. Don't bury dogs in KS. I accidently ran over this dog on the interstate in KS and Katrina being the softy that she is was blubbering and crying because it killed it. Well, you know I had this small shovel in my truck. It always stays there. Never know when you might need one for something especially in my line of work.  Nothing would do her but to bury this poor dog. Okay, whatever. So I back up, drag "Skidder" off the road and down in the grassy area, which was a little ways off the road considering WE ARE ON AN INTERSTATE. Keep in mind here it was dusky dark when this all took place.  I get this fairly large hole dug because Skidder was no little dog at all. Even in his condition.  Right about the time I get ole Skid put to rest this car pulls up behind the truck. By this time it's dark and all I see is this beam of light hit me in the eyes. OH MAN. "Hey guys, what's going on?" UMMM, we just buried a dog! "Really". Yeah, really we did. "Can I see your license and registeration please sir". Looking at Katrina I mudder I'M going to kill your dumb ass.  I HAVE to dig this dog up to prove that I really buried a dog and not human remains I guess. I was ticked and humiliated yet again but I was slinging that shovel like a three peckered goat at a goat poking contest and praying I wasn't going to jail for burying a dog along the interstate.  I had no idea how I was going to explain that  in ONE phone call. Plus, I really had no idea who in the hell I would of called to come bail me out for something like that. But, we got the dog reburied and off on our way we went after we had a cup of coffee with the officer that just happened to go to the same store we went to. I just don't get it. He actually followed us several miles or until we was out of his jurisdiction one and then I think he radioed ahead because it seemed like we met a po-po car every corner we turned.

Toodles...............Cheyne