WELL I AM NOT GUILTY ABOUT ANYTHING BUT I AM 100% SURE MY MOTHER IN LAW IS. LET ME SEE WHERE SHOULD I BEGAN. I GUESS FROM THE BEGINNING WOULD BE GREAT. AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER MY CHILDREN WERE TREATED DIFFERENT THAN THE OTHER GRANDKIDS AND I HATED THAT BUT MY CHILDREN WERE LITTLE AND THEY DIDN'T REALLY UNDERSTAND. BUT SINCE MY KIDS ARE MUCH OLDER THEY ARE ABLE TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE RIGHT AND THE WRONG THAT THEY ENDURED. I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT THINGS WOULD GET BETTER, BUT THEY ONLY GOT WORSE. LAST CHRISTMAS MY THEN 12 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER  TOLD ME ABOUT WHEN I LEFT THEM OVER THERE GRANDMA'S HOUSE ONE THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY SHE TOLD ME IN FULL DETAIL ABOUT HOW HER GRANDMA BEAT HER WITH A BELT IN HER FACE AND GAVE HER NOT ONE BUT TWO BLACK EYES. SHE CRIED AND I CRIED AND SHE THEN SAID THAT IT FELT GOOD TO FINALLY TELL THE TRUTH. SEVERAL YEARS BEFORE THIS FULLY COMING OUT WE WERE MADE AWARE OF SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENNING BUT MY DAUGHTER WOULDN'T TALK ABOUT IT. SO I ASKED HER WHY DIDN'T SHE TELL ME THIS EARLIER.SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE DIDN'T WANT TO BE THE REASON WHY ME AND HER DAD BROKE UP AND SHE WANTED US TO GET MARRIED. SO OUR LIFE WAS FOREVER CHANGED BECAUSE MY DAUGHTER FINALLY TOLD THE TRUTH CONSIDERING WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 5 YEARS AT THE TIME SHE TOLD US THIS. WELL WE FELT LIKE HIS MOTHER SHOULD KNOW WHY WE WEREN'T BRINGING THE CHILDREN AROUND ANYMORE CAUSE THAT WAS THE PLAN.I PROMISED MY KIDS THAT THEY WILL NEVER BE HURT AGAIN BY THAT FAMILY WHO NEVER LIKED ME ANYWAY.I KNOW THAT MY HUSBAND WANTS HIS CHILDREN AROUND HIS FAMILY BUT I DON'T THINK THAT WILL HAPPEN ANYTIME SOON. I KNOW THAT GOD VERY WELL HAS SOMETHING IN STORE FOR US AS A FAMILY AND I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER ANY OF THAT SO I ASK  GOD TO FIX THIS SITUATION CAUSE IF IT IS LEFT UP TO ME IT WILL STAY THIS WAY. BUT I DO KNOW THAT KNOW MATTER WHAT I HAVE VOWED TO THE KIDS THAT I WILL PROTECT THEM NO MATTER WHAT GOES ON. I FEEL THAT CAUSE HIS FAMILY DIDN'T LIKE ME FROM THE START MY KIDS WERE PENALIZED. MY HUSBAND FAMILY HAS ALLOWED THEIR KIDS TO DO THINGS OR SAY THINGS TO MY KIDS AND LET IT GO . I CAN REMEMBER WHEN MY SON WHO WAS THEN 10 YEARS WAS ABOUT TO BE STABBED BY A COUSIN WHO WAS 12 YEARS OLD AND THE GRANDMOTHER OR COUSIN DID NOTHING. I AM BEYOND STRESSED OUT BECAUSE OF THIS FAMILY WELL I USED TO BE CAUSE I RECENTLY GAVE IT ALL TO GOD AND I TRUST THAT HE WILL FIX THIS . WELL I GUESS I AM GUILTY ABOUT ALL OF THIS CAUSE I FEEL LIKE FOR THE SAKE OF MY KIDS HAVING A GRANDMOTHER, AUNTS, UNCLES, AND COUSINS I SACRIFICED TO MUCH AND I DIDN'T PROTECT MY CHILDREN LIKE I SHOULD OF. SO FOR THIS I FEEL THE GUILT. I HAVE APOLOGIZED TO MY CHILDREN , BUT THEY SEEM TO THINK THAT I DID NOTHING WRONG . BUT ME BEING A REAL WOMAN I KNOW WHAT I DID WRONG AND I AM GLAD THAT MY THEN 12 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER PULLED MY CARD AND NOT ANYONE ELSE.  I GUESS I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME OF THIS OFF OF MY CHEST BECAUSE THIS IS ONLY THE SHORT VERSION.

I think that I will always be my Daddy's little girl, even though I am grown now and I have a husband. I am so spoiled thanks to my Dad. My Dad passed away on 4-4-95 .I miss him so much. My Dad was the first man that I ever loved and I still love him to this day. My Dad in my eyes was perfect . He was always there for me rather it be emotionally or finacially. He was there for me when my son who is now 11 was born , He went in the delivery room with me when no one else could,  that is a moment I will never forget. My dad was a awesome person he took care of me and my then three children like they were his own . they adored him and so did I.  I can remember that my Dad always told me if I needed something to ask him first and if he couldn't get it for me than it must be impossible. I always asked my Dad for whatever I wanted or needed and he got it for me. My Dad was there for me to talk to about anything rather it be my friends, drugs, sex,  school choices, college and so on..... My Dad was the best. My Dad also taught me something else to, he taught me that if you love a person you show them as well as tell them cause actions speak louder than words. My Dad was married to my Mom for 26 years when he died . they were still in love and they showed it. They had the relationship that I mimic everyday. My Dad respected my Mom and never cheated or lied to her. He took his marriage serious. they were in it for eachother and whatever they offspringed would have the same things instilled in them. I  think my Dad always had our interest first.  So my point is that my husband kinda had it bad from the jump and didn't even know it . My husband says that my dad spoiled me to the max and he has to pick it up and move accordinally or else. I love my life and would change it for nothing cause that would be selfish cause this is the life that God chose for me. My husband is a good man and my dad would be proud of both he and I. Remember that love is a powerful thing and that with God and Love all things are possible. My Dad always use to say that all things happen for a reason,we may not know the reason why or even understand why but just know that we serve a God of no mistakes. Our God is Perfect  He makes no mistakes. I Just wanted to write what was on my mind today.

A real women wouldn't sell herself short at all. always put what you know is right first . I wonder what is this generation of young women actually doing. I see they are using there body as a tool to get what they want and I think that is crazy. I know at least once everyone has settled for less or had to do something that they really didn't want to do.But I think that we as real women need to try our best and guide our young women in progress to really know there self worth. I think they we owe them this cause this seems to be a F*CKED up generation. I myself am trying this inspite of me having a 16-year old run-away daughter, who smokes weed  pops pills and is sexually active. I believe that even when your own children are what seems to be out of control don't stop doing what you know is right. my daughter is out in the street being grown but I have vowed not to stop being there for my friends daughters as well as my 13-year old daughter and my god- daughter. I think I would be less then a women if I didn't make there business my business. at some point when all this stuff was going with my daughter I thought that i had failed, but God reassured me that  I must go on inspite of her actions. don't get me wrong I love my daughter very much, and I miss her but I must keep my head up in order to continue on pleasing God. I no that my God is not a God of mistakes and I look forward to the restoral of our mother/daughter relationship oneday soon.I am really in a bad place right now with the holidays right aroung the cornerbut my God has made me a warrior and not by mistake so I will Survive. May God continue to bless all that reads this .

I always knew that god Blessed me, but not until Katrina did I know how blessed I was. I am a true believer that god does not make any mistakes and that all things happen for a reason. So I am not questioning what happened at all. I believe that these are the last days and we should live it like it is. But my heart just goes out to everyone who endured Katrina. Most of all I feel sad cause I am sitting here with everything that I could possibly ask for and then some. My life could not be better. I am truely blessed beyond measure. I have a nice home, my health, clean clothes, food, natural spring water,bathroom, and I have so many material things that it took Katrina to see how materialistic I am. I am not boasting or anything I am just basically checking my self, and telling my self that that could be me and my husband and children that are seperated or even dead. We should be even more apprecitive for all that we have and how our lives have been spared. I didn't have alot but everytime some was asking for a donation no matter how big or small, I gave , I gave clothing, I gave food, I gave water, and most of all I prayed and will continue to pray.  I have always known that I am a servant for the Lord and that he has a plan for me. Father what a wonderful plan you have prepared for me. you delight in my search for you, and you have promised to reveal Yourself to me. Help me to remember life's lessons You have taught me along the way, that I might build upon those foundational truths to get a better glimpse of Your glory. Change me, mold me, and make me the person You want me to be. It is a lifelong process, and I rejoice in Your lifelong friendship. If not before,make this the time now to give your life to Christ. He is the only way. Help them out that were hit by Katrina in anyway that you can cause they need it. The Lord will  be pleased. Stay in the word, trust in the Lord and Pray, Pray, and more Pray. We must unite in order to help them . God bless.