MR. PRESIDENT, I'M HEADED TO MEXICO
David M. Bresnahan
April 1, 2006
NewsWithViews.com

Dear President Bush:

I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and
I
would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border
from
the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know you
can
help with this.

I plan to skip all the legal stuff like  visas, passports, immigration

quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those  things the same way you do
here.

So, would you mind telling  your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I'm
on
my way over? Please let him  know that I will be expecting the
following:

1. Free medical  care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government  bureaucrats for all services I might
need,
whether I use them or  not.
3. All government forms need to be printed in  English.
4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking  teachers.
5. Schools need to include classes on American culture  and history.
6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying  on the top of the
flag
pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying  lower down.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both  breakfast and
lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's  license so I can get easy
access
to government services.
9.  I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any
effort
to  learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police  officers does not get the memo
from
Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be  sure that all police officers
speak
English.

11. I plan  to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on
my
car, and have  a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any
complaints or negative  comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice  job without paying any taxes, and

don't enforce any labor laws or tax  laws.
13. Please tell all the people in the country to be  extremely nice and

never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I  might place
on the
economy.

I know this is an easy  request because you already do all these things

for all the people who come  to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that
Pres.
Fox won't mind returning the  favor if you ask him nicely.

However, if he gives you any  trouble, just invite him to go quail
hunting
with your  V.P.

Thank you so much for your kind  help.

Sincerely,

David M. Bresnahan