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A song that should of been sung in full.
Feb 27, 2007 | 3:33PM
This land is your land This land is my land
From California to the New York island;
From the red wood forest to the Gulf Stream waters
This land was made for you and Me.
As I was walking that ribbon of highway,
I saw above me that endless skyway:
I saw below me that golden valley:
This land was made for you and me.
I've roamed and rambled and I followed my footsteps
To the sparkling sands of her diamond deserts;
And all around me a voice was sounding:
This land was made for you and me.
When the sun came shining, and I was strolling,
And the wheat fields waving and the dust clouds rolling,
As the fog was lifting a voice was chanting:
This land was made for you and me.
As I went walking I saw a sign there
And on the sign it said "No Trespassing."
But on the other side it didn't say nothing,
That side was made for you and me.
In the shadow of the steeple I saw my people,
By the relief office I seen my people;
As they stood there hungry, I stood there asking
Is this land made for you and me?
Nobody living can ever stop me,
As I go walking that freedom highway;
Nobody living can ever make me turn back
This land was made for you and me.
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If you woke up this morning
Feb 16, 2007 | 8:28PM
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with more health than illness,
you are more blessed than the
million who won't survive the week.
If you have never experienced
the danger of battle,
the loneliness of imprisonment,
the agony of torture or
the pangs of starvation,
you are ahead of 20 million people
around the world.
If you attend a church meeting
without fear of harassment,
arrest, torture, or death,
you are more blessed than almost
three billion people in the world.
If you have food in your refrigerator,
clothes on your back, a roof over
your head and a place to sleep,
you are richer than 75% of this world.
If you have money in the bank,
in your wallet, and spare change
in a dish someplace, you are among
the top 8% of the world's wealthy.
If your parents are still married and alive,
you are very rare,
especially in the United States.
If you hold up your head with a smile
on your face and are truly thankful,
you are blessed because the majority can,
but most do not.
If you can hold someone's hand, hug them
or even touch them on the shoulder,
you are blessed because you can
offer God's healing touch.
If you can read this message,
you are more blessed than over
two billion people in the world
that cannot read anything at all.
You are so blessed in ways
you may never even know.
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WINTER BLONDE
Feb 04, 2007 | 10:14PM
>
> As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps
> out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The
> trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and
> you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds
>
> down the street.
>
> When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again.
> She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the
> trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde
> says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of
> your load!"
>
>
> Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down
> the street.
>
>
> At the third red light, the same thing happens again.
>
>
> All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the
>truck door. The trucker rolls down the window. Again she says "Hi, my name >is
Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
>
>
> When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next
> light.
>
>
> When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back >to
the blonde.
>
> He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says...
>
>
> "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Michigan and I'm driving the
> SALT TRUCK!"
>
>
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The Three Little Pigs
Jan 31, 2007 | 11:40PM
Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took their drink order.
"I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy."I would like a Coke," said the second little piggy.
"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," said the third little piggy.
The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner.
"I want a nice big steak," said the first piggy.
"I would like the salad plate," said the second piggy.
"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," said the third little piggy.
The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.
"I want a banana split," said the first piggy.
"I want a cheesecake," said the second piggy.
"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," exclaimed the third little piggy.
"Pardon me for asking," said the waiter to the third little piggy,"
But why have you only ordered beer all evening?"
You're gonna LOVE me for this....
The third piggy says
"Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!
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The Sheriff's Office
Jan 29, 2007 | 11:35PM
Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?"
> > "Yes. What can I do for you?"
> > "I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil
> > Smith....He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood!
> >
> > Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs,
> > but he's hidin' it there."
> >
> > "Thank you very much for the call, sir."
> >
> > The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on
> > Virgil's house. They search the shed where the
> > firewood is kept.
> >
> > Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but
> > find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.
> >
> > Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house.
> >
> > "Hey, Virgil!
> >
> > This here's Floyd....did the Sheriff come?"
> >
> > "Yeah!"
> >
> > "Did they chop your firewood?"
> >
> > "Yep!"
> >
> > "Happy Birthday, buddy!"
> >
> > (Rednecks know how to git-R-dun).
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Three Little Pigs
Jan 19, 2007 | 11:09AM
Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took their drink order.
"I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy.
"I would like a Coke," said the second little piggy.
"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," said the third little piggy.
The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner.
"I want a nice big steak," said the first piggy.
"I would like the salad plate," said the second piggy.
"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," said the third little piggy.
The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.
"I want a banana split," said the first piggy.
"I want a cheesecake," said the second piggy.
"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," exclaimed the third little piggy.
"Pardon me for asking," said the waiter to the third little piggy,"
But why have you only ordered beer all evening?"
You're gonna LOVE me for this....
The third piggy says -
"Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!
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My pet Rooster Chuck.
Jan 17, 2007 | 11:35PM
AN OLD FARMER WENT TO TOWN TO SEE A MOVIE...........
THE TICKET AGENT ASKED, "SIR, WHAT'S THAT ON YOUR SHOULDER?"
THE OLD FARMER SAID, "THAT'S MY PET ROOSTER CHUCK.
WHEREVER I GO, CHUCK GOES."
"I'M SORRY SIR," SAID THE TICKET AGENT. "WE CAN'T ALLOW ANIMALS IN THE THEATER."
THE OLD FARMER WENT AROUND THE CORNER AND STUFFED
THE BIRD DOWN HIS OVERALLS. THEN HE RETURNED TO THE BOOTH, BOUGHT A TICKET, AND ENTERED THE THEATER.
HE SAT DOWN NEXT TO TWO OLD WIDOWS NAMED MILDRED AND MARGE.
THE MOVIE STARTED AND THE ROOSTER BEGAN TO SQUIRM. THE OLD FARMER UNBUTTONED HIS FLY SO CHUCKY COULD STICK HIS HEAD OUT AND WATCH T HE MOVIE.
"MARGE," WHISPERED MILDRED.
"WHAT?" SAID MARGE.
"I THINK THE GUY NEXT TO ME IS A PERVERT."
"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SO?" ASKED MARGE.
"HE UNDID HIS PANTS AND HE HAS HIS THING OUT", WHISPERED MILDRED.
"WELL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT", SAID MARGE. "HELL, AT OUR AGE WE'VE SEEN 'EM ALL"
"I THOUGHT SO TOO", SAID MILDRED, BUT THIS ONE'S EATIN' MY POPCORN
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