I have to admit - Ive been fairly up beat lately, all be it a little confused. Been more open to myself, living healthier, at least mentally, and hoping that will lead to better things physically. Heh - down to 180 today - this is from 225 at the beginning of summer. Is that really that bad a thing? Everyone else is saying - dam you lost weight, you look skinny, unhealthy. :S Hmm. Am I? My hockey guys still look at me as the big man on the team - although I guess at 6'4 its hard to be considered small. I still feel good I think... Although more head rushes and what not lately... Hmm... Im not sure, but hell this is supposed to be up beat.
I like to think of myself as a smart guy, and as such I've done a lot of thinking lately. Analyzing, life, both mine, and the ones of those around me... and of general culture. Excuse me if
[censored] starts to get confusing, you know me when I get rambling. I had a convo with my buddy last night, about the emotional evolution of people... its amazing the things that people use to finally grow up. I mean physically, we all are going to grow old, but how many of us grow UP! How many people can say they notice the differences in themselves... How many people are mature enough to reckognize the growth in those around them?
Ever have a friend... You grow up together and then all of a sudden you look at him or her, and say - Damn you changed! Thats evolution. Lets face it we cant maintain the same mentality through our entire lives - we have to evolve, begin thinking differently, assessing situations differently, living differently. Its necessary to live a healthy life... but its something that everyone has to do on their own. Friends, parents, etc, can all try to help, but its as the old adage goes - you can lead the horse to water but ya cant make him drink. We're guided through so much of our lives be it through jobs, parents, school, whatever... its so easy to fall into a mold, and just coast. However we... to lead a proper life... have to make decisions that impact our lives. Everyone does it at different times... for different reasons, and more over it affects everyone differently. Its kinda like puberty for adults. Puberty is to the physical changes in life as Evolution is to our mental status in life.
So what do we do? How do we get through this? How to we reckognize this stage? Well the thing is, it happens constantly... we are all constantly changing, growing, learning. The key to getting through this safely, is simple... Talk to your loved ones... tell them how you feel. Tell them whats going on with you... be as open as you can... If they truly care about you, they will support you as you would them. The worst thing - take it from me - you can do is try to hide your feelings. All that happens when you try to hide from yourself - or hide others from yourself, is you, or they will end up hurt, and you will likely end up with a lot more questions than you ever had before. It isnt worth it. It isnt worth the time it takes to mend the wounds. So, if not from your own learn from my mistakes, and just be open. Be true to yourself, be true to those you care about. Let evolution take you where it will... Just dont forget where you came from, and dont forget to take those important to you along for the ride!
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