One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends." I replied. "What dose it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma." And they say blondes are dumb....
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A couple is lying in the bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." the woman replies, "I'll miss you"......
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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this? Probably that I married you for your money she replied.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediatel she had airline/ cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh! Immediately he turned ninty!!! Gotta love that fairy!
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Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
and Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord if I pray for strenght, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
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Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
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Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
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Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remeber which end they need to wipe.
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instrction Manuals"