Good   "OLE"  Bubba  Story

Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. 
The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for 
his two best friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always done
everything together. 
 
Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the 
shee t, Cooter said, 'Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You 
better roll himover.' The mortician rolled him over and Cooter 
said, 
'Nope, ain't Bubba.' 
 
The mortician thought this was rather strange. So he brought 
Gomer in to confirm. 'Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him 
over.' 
 
The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, 'No, it ain't Bubba.' 
 
The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?' 

'Well, Bubba had two [censored]s.' 

'What? He had two [censored]s?' asked the mortician. 

'Yup, we never seen em,' but everybody used to say, 'There's 
Bubba with them two [censored]s.'

Lingerie

Seventy-five year old Marvin goes to the local mall and tries to find a gift for his wife for Valentine'S  Day.
Upon passing a lingerie store, Marvin realizes that his wife has never bought any lingerie in her life. He gets the idea to buy his wife something sexy to make her feel good and young. Marvin goes into the store and tells the clerk to wrap up the most expensive, sheerest negligee she has. Marvin takes the gift and excitedly runs home to his wife. Upon finding her in the kitchen he tells her to take the gift upstairs and unwrap it. He'll wait in the kitchen. His wife thanks him and goes up to the bedroom. Once the package is opened she realizes that this is something she's never had before. She also sees that it is so sheer it leaves nothing to the imagination. She thinks for a moment and then decides that she'll really surprise Marvin and go downstairs without any clothes on at all. So she leaves the negligee on the bed and starts down the stairs stark naked.
She calls out: "Marvin, come out to the hallway and look."
Marvin walks out to the staircase, looks up at his wife, and exclaims: "All that money and they didn't even iron it?!"

• Will I Live to see 80
  
  Here's something to think about. I recently picked a
  new primary care doctor. After two visits and
  exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly
  well" for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I
  couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
  
  He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?"
  "Oh no," I replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either!"
  
  Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"
  I said, "No, my former doctor said that all red meat
  is very unhealthy!"
  
  "Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing
  golf, sailing, hiking, Or bicycling?"
  "No, I don't", I said.
  
  He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a
  lot of sex?"
  "No," I said.
  
  He looked at me and said,...."Then, why do you even give a [censored]?