hello, this is my very first blog,  I have never done this before I was just told to say what I am thinking for the day. 

Well everyday there is one thing on my mind....my stepdaughter.  I have a seven year old stepdaughter and a daughter who is 18 months old.  I love them both very much and would do anything for either of them.  My husband got custody of my stepdaughter when she was five years old.  It was actually the day that we moved in together...but we had been together for 2 years and she had pretty much been living with us since we had gotten together as our jobs allowed us so that we would never need a babysitter where as her mother(if you want to call her that) would have needed to always find a babysitter for her while she was at work. 

I wish that there was a book on raising stepchildren.  She is a very good kid.  But she is so angry at her mother that she keeps taking it out on me.  Her mother met another guy and she had a baby with him a short time after 10 months to be exact.  She never comes over to see her and she was becomming very angry for not coming around, and blaming me for it.  I don't know if she sees me as the reason for her mommy and daddy breakign up or what.

We have put her into counceling and it seems to be helping, but she still has a tendency to act out towards me from time to time.  Sometimes it gets bad enough that she says she doesn't want me here all she needs is her daddy.  Or she will say that she wants to go and live with her mother, because she is going to force her to spend time with her.  She does go over there once a month for a weekend...but by saturday night she is calling us saying that no one will play with her she is really bored and wants to come home.  We tell her that she will be home tommorow and we can't wait to see her.

I wish I didn't get so angry at her sometimes with the mind games that she plays with me.  I try to let it go but it is sooo hard...that sometimes I can' t wait for her to go to her mothers house because it will give me time away from her. 

I am working so hard on our relationship, but I don't know if it is working probably until I am very grey, and she is old enough to realize how much I really love her. 

Please help me I am open to any ideas, I love her to death and really want this to work before it may end up hurting my relationship with my husband.  But so far so good, we are very happily married for almost 3 years now....and hopefully many more....

I hope that this was okay...If is my feelings and I hope that this is what a blog is