If you remember when TV
Used to be black and white
You find you’re getting broader
But your shrinking in your height

If before you go to bed
Your teeth go in a jar
And you forget what your doing
Before you’ve gone too far

If your bladder gets you up
In the middle of the night
You get up in the morning
And you look an awful sight

If you’re not breaking hearts
You’re breaking wind instead
When you’d sooner stay at home
And watch TV in bed

Then my friend I say to you
You’ve finally reached the stage
That is what is called
The golden years of age