Yo momma is so fat…

her nickname is “Damn!”

she eats “Wheat Thicks”

she went to the movies & sat next to everyone.

she was floating in the ocean & Spain claimed her for the New World.

when she goes to a restaurant & looks at the menu, she hands it back to the waiter and says, ”Okay.”

Yo momma is so stupid…

it took her 2 hours to watch “60 Minutes.”

she got locked in a grocery store & starved to death.

she tripped over a cordless phone.

she sold her car for gas money.

she took a ruler to bed with her so she could find out how long she slept.

Yo momma is so poor…..

I saw her kicking a can down the road - so I asked her what she was doing - she said, “Moving.”

she goes to KFC to lick other people’s fingers.

when I ring her doorbell, she says, “Ding.”

her face is on the front of a food stamp.

she waves a popsicle stick around and calls it air conditioning.

Yo momma is so old…

Her Social Security number is 1.

Jesus was in her high school yearbook.

when she was in school, there was no History class yet.

she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

she ran track with the dinosaurs.

Yo momma is so ugly…

when she was born, the doctor slapped her mother.

when she goes to the bank, they cut off the surveillance cameras.

she made an onion cry.

when she went to a beauty salon, it took 12 hours to get a quote.

her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.