If we're not supposed to eat animals then why are they made out of meat?

I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk.  Alcoholics go to meetings.

Politicians should do two terms - on in office and one in jail!

The number one cause of divorce is marriage.

I need someone really bad.  Are you really bad?

Athletes love to score!

Yes, I've heard of decaf - what's your point?

I'll finish that project tomorrow, I've made enough mistakes today!

Life is way too short to date ugly people.