Person 1: How do you like my new _________ (sofa, earrings, dishes, lamp, etc.)?
Person 2: Oh, yeah, how 'bout that? Where'd you get it?
Person 1: (bleep-bleep-bleepity-bleep-bleep!)

Why do people do that? Stop asking people where they get whatever from! That's like asking someone how much their tax refund will be? Or if their boobs are natural; or what color their underwear is. Good grief!

First of all, do you really want to know? Why? Why do you want to know? What's it to you? Do you want one just like it? Are you going to rush out tomorrow and get one for yourself?

OR are you secretly passing judgment - maybe even so secret you don't even realize you're doing it? Are you quietly comparing my thing to one you have? Why? What need can that possibly fulfill?

Secondly, the underlying 'rest of the question' is How much did it cost? Is it new? How can you afford it? Blah, blah, blah!

Why can't people simply say. "Oh that's so nice" or "wow, you have great taste" - are these people's egos that damaged? Or are these people just that mean & hateful?

Did you ever stop and think (actually here's where I should just end this post but...) that it could be a discontinued item or a hand-me-down or a thrift shop purchase or another equally embarrassing source? Not everybody is willing to reveal that they shop at outlets and flea markets - not everybody can get a complete room suite from Room to Go!

Sometimes

Sometimes I wonder why you went away
Sometimes I know the answer and sometimes I wish
Sometimes that we could start all over
Sometimes I just want to say: I Love You.

Sometimes I wonder what it was about you
Sometimes that made you so unique
Sometimes I cry to think you are gone
Sometimes I pretend, Sometimes I really do

Sometimes I really think you're still here
Sometimes I feel you all around me
Sometimes it is so real I can touch it
Sometimes I will find a single tear

Sometimes in the corner of my eye
Sometimes I think it belongs to you.
Sometimes I just want to hear your voice
Sometimes I just want to die.

Sometimes I yearn for you so bad that
Sometimes I do not think I will make it another day
Sometimes I always do so far; but
Sometimes I think: You know I had that

Love that everyone seeks but cannot find.
And lost that love most only dream about....

Sometimes I miss you so bad it breaks my heart.
Sometimes I love you more than any words could say
Sometimes I love you so deeply that often
Sometimes it ravages me and tears me apart.

Sometimes I know why you went away
Sometimes I do not. And I know that
Sometimes you had every right to leave
Sometimes it does not seem fair. Like today.

Sometimes, all the time and for eternity
I love you no matter what.

(author unknown)

  

    
If we're not supposed to eat animals then why are they made out of meat?

I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk.  Alcoholics go to meetings.

Politicians should do two terms - on in office and one in jail!

The number one cause of divorce is marriage.

I need someone really bad.  Are you really bad?

Athletes love to score!

Yes, I've heard of decaf - what's your point?

I'll finish that project tomorrow, I've made enough mistakes today!

Life is way too short to date ugly people.
    



  
		

Learn to dance

A Different Version

The best of 'em all - just takes quite a while to load, but so worth it!

Yo momma is so fat…

her nickname is “Damn!”

she eats “Wheat Thicks”

she went to the movies & sat next to everyone.

she was floating in the ocean & Spain claimed her for the New World.

when she goes to a restaurant & looks at the menu, she hands it back to the waiter and says, ”Okay.”

Yo momma is so stupid…

it took her 2 hours to watch “60 Minutes.”

she got locked in a grocery store & starved to death.

she tripped over a cordless phone.

she sold her car for gas money.

she took a ruler to bed with her so she could find out how long she slept.

Yo momma is so poor…..

I saw her kicking a can down the road - so I asked her what she was doing - she said, “Moving.”

she goes to KFC to lick other people’s fingers.

when I ring her doorbell, she says, “Ding.”

her face is on the front of a food stamp.

she waves a popsicle stick around and calls it air conditioning.

Yo momma is so old…

Her Social Security number is 1.

Jesus was in her high school yearbook.

when she was in school, there was no History class yet.

she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

she ran track with the dinosaurs.

Yo momma is so ugly…

when she was born, the doctor slapped her mother.

when she goes to the bank, they cut off the surveillance cameras.

she made an onion cry.

when she went to a beauty salon, it took 12 hours to get a quote.

her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.

 

Of all of these sometimes corny quizzes I've taken, I really liked this one a lot!

 

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.