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| All posts about: Friends |
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ONIONS AND CHRISTMAS TRESS
Dec 11, 2006 | 7:03PM
 This is Hilarious!! A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there? The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her 20s, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are Like onions". "Onions?" "Yes, you see them and they make you cry." This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?" The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree". "A Christmas tree?" "Yes - dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration." 
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| categories: Friends, Fun, Jokes |
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A SAD CASE OF A ATTENTION SEEKER
Jul 27, 2006 | 4:06PM
What Is This Picture? Give it some thought before you scroll down.
Obviously, it's a picture in a cemetery. What cemetery and whose grave?
Sadly, it's the grave of Casey Sheehan. After two years, and a DOD payment of $250,000 to the "Peace Mom", Cindy Sheehan has not had the time or bothered to have a headstone placed on this young hero's grave. And, she doesn't even have to pay for one, the DOD will provide one:
"The Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) furnishes upon request, at no charge to the applicant, a government headstone or marker for the grave of any deceased eligible veteran in any cemetery around the world. For all deaths occurring before September 11, 2001, the VA may provide a headstone or marker only for graves that are not marked with a private headstone.
Flat markers in granite, marble, and bronze and upright headstones in granite and marble are available. The style chosen must be consistent with existing monuments at the place of burial. Niche markers are also available to mark columbaria used for inurnment of cremated remains."
Apparently she can find time to protest on at least 3 continents, get arrested various times, go on vacation in Hawaii, have photo ops with the Marxists in Venezuela, but can't seem to find the time to properly mark her son's grave.
Ever wonder what the expression "stuck on stupid" meant?
Well here is an example:
 face="Arial" color="#0000a0">The grinning idiot clinging to Je$$e Jack$on is Cindy Sheehan... the sob sister protesting the war at Bush's ranch, who lost her son in the war, the same son she gave up in her divorce when he was 7 years old.
And by the way if you wonder why she has so much free time . she is going through another divorce right now and guess what? She is giving up custody of another son.
As Forest Gump once wisely proclaimed, "Stupid is as stupid does."
Please DO pass this one along.
Samuel Adams advised: "It does not take a majority to prevail...but rather an irate, tireless minority,keen on setting brush fires of freedom in the minds of men."
NOW THE GRIEVING MOM CAN BUY PROPERTY ? HELLO HER SON DIED FOR HER FREEDOM .....
CRAWFORD, Texas - War protester Cindy Sheehan has purchased a 5-acre plot in Crawford with some of the insurance money she received after her son was killed in Iraq.
The group she helps lead, Gold Star Families for Peace, says on its Web site that it will return next month to protest the war in Iraq in the small town near Waco where President Bush has a ranch. Like last year, Sheehan, whose son Casey was killed in Iraq in 2004, will again demand to meet with the president.
“We decided to buy property in Crawford to use until George’s resignation or impeachment, which we all hope is soon for the sake of the world,” Sheehan said in a newsletter set to be sent to supporters Thursday. “I can’t think of a better way to use Casey’s insurance money than for peace, and I am sure that Casey approves.”
Her anti-war gathering in Crawford is scheduled for Aug. 16 through Sept. 2. But Bush is scheduled to be at his ranch mainly during the first two weeks of August.
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| categories: Blog Idea of the Day, Family, Friends, Work |
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THINGS A MOM LEARN FROM BOYS
Jul 23, 2006 | 8:50PM
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...
>
>
>
> Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
>
>
>
> 1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000sq. ft. house 4
> inches deep.
>
>
>
> 2.) If you spray hair spray on dusters and run over them with roller
> blades,
> they can ignite.
>
>
>
> 3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
> restaurant.
>
>
>
> 4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
> enough to rotate 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape
> It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on
> all
> four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
>
>
>
> 5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
> using
> a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before
> you
> get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
>
>
>
> 6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit
by
> a
> ceiling fan.
>
>
>
> 7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's
already too
> late
>
>
>
> 8.) Brake fluid mixed with beer makes smoke, and lots of it.
>
>
>
> 9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
> 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
>
>
>
> 10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old
> Boy.
>
>
>
> 11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
>
>
>
> 12.) Super glue is forever.
>
>
>
> 13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't
> walk on water.
>
>
>
> 14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
>
>
>
> 15.) VCR's do not eject "salad" sandwiches even though TV commercials
show
> they do.
>
>
>
> 16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
>
>
>
> 17.) Marbles in petrol tanks make lots of noise when driving.
>
>
>
> 18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
>
>
>
> 19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not
> like
> ovens.
>
>
>
> 20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
>
>
>
> 21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
>
>
>
> 22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
>
>
>
> 23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
>
>
>
> 24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the beer and brake fluid.
>
>
>
> Those who pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without
> boys
> do it because:
>
>
>
> a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
>
>
>
> b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
>
>
>
> c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
>
>
>
> d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
>
>
>
> e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
>
>
>
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| categories: Blog Idea of the Day, Family, Friends, Fun, Work |
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ANYONE AND EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ.
Jul 17, 2006 | 4:13PM
send this to everyone that have children,g'children,nieces,nephews..if they breathe they need to read this...
A must read!!!
Protect the children...
Shannon could hear the footsteps behind her as she walked toward home. The thought of being followed made her heart beat faster. "You're being silly, she told herself, "no one is following you." To be safe, she began to walk faster, but the footsteps kept up with her pace. She was afraid to look back and she was glad she was almost home. Shannon said a quick prayer, "God please get me home safe." She saw the porch light burning and she leaned against the door for a moment, relieved to be in the safety of her home. She glanced out the window to see if anyone was there. The sidewalk was empty.
After tossing her books on the sofa, she decided to grab a snack and get on-line. She logged on under her screen name ByAngel213. She checked her
Buddy List and saw GoTo123 was on.
She sent him an instant message:
By Angel213:
Hi. I'm glad you are on! I thought someone was following me home today. It was really weird!
GoTo123:
LOL You watch too much TV. Why would someone be following you? Don't you live in a safe neighbourhood?
ByAngel213:
Of course I do. LOL I guess it was my imagination cuz' I didn't see anybody when I looked out.
GoTo123:
Unless you gave your name out on-line. You haven't done that have you?
ByAngel213:
Of course not. I'm not stupid you know.
GoTo123:
Did you have a softball game after school today?
ByAngel213:
Yes and we won!!
GoTo123:
That's great! Who did you play?
ByAngel213:
We played the Hornets. LOL. Their uniforms are so gross! They look like bees. LOL
GoTo123:
What is your team called?
ByAngel213:
We are
the Canton Cats. We have tiger paws on our uniforms. They are really cool.
GoTo123:
Did you pitch?
ByAngel213:
No I play second base. I got to go. My homework has to be done before my parents get home. I don't want them mad at me. Bye!
GoTo123:
Catch you later. Bye
Meanwhile.....GoTo123 went to the member menu and began to search for her profile. When it came up, he highlighted it and printed it out. He took out a pen and began to write down what he knew about Angel so far.
Her name: Shannon
Birthday: Jan. 3, 1985
Age: 13
State where she lived: North Carolina
Hobbies: softball, chorus,
skating and going to the mall.
Besides this information, he knew she lived in Canton because she had just told him. He knew she stayed by herself until 6:30 p.m. every afternoon until her parents came home from work. He knew she played softball on Thursday afternoons on the school team, and the team was named the Canton Cats. Her favorite number 7 was printed on her jersey. He knew she was in the eight grade at the Canton Junior High School. She had told him all this in the conversations they had on- line. He had enough information to find her now.
Shannon didn't tell her parents about the incident on the way home from the ball park that day. She didn't want them to make a scene and stop her from walking home from the softball games. Parents were always overreacting and hers were the worst. It made her wish she was not an only child. Maybe if she had brothers and sisters, her parents wouldn't be so overprotective.
By Thursday, Shannon had forgotten about the footsteps following her.
Her game was
in full swing when suddenly she felt someone staring at her. It was then that the memory came back. She glanced up from her second base position to see a man watching her closely.
He was leaning against the fence behind first base and he smiled when she looked at him. He didn't look scary and she quickly dismissed the fear she had felt.
After the game, he sat on a bleacher while she talked to the coach. She noticed his smile once again as she walked past him. He nodded and she smiled back. He noticed her
name on the back of her shirt. He knew he had found her. Quietly, he walked a safe distance behind her. It was only a few blocks to Shannon's home, and once he saw where she lived he quickly returned to the park to get his car.
Now he had to wait. He decided to get a bite to eat until the time came to go to Shannon's house. He drove to a fast food restaurant and sat there until time to make his move.
Shannon
was in her room later that evening when she heard voices in the living room.
"Shannon, come here," her father called. He sounded upset and she couldn't imagine why. She went into the room to see the man from the ballpark sitting on the sofa.
"Sit down," her father began, "this man has just told us a most interesting story about you."
Shannon sat back. How could he tell her parents anything? She had never seen him before
today!
"Do you know who I am, Shannon?" the man asked.
"No," Shannon answered.
"I am a police officer and your online friend, GoTo123."
Shannon was stunned. "That's impossible! GoTo is a kid my age! He's 14 and he lives in Michigan!"
The man smiled. "I know I told you all that, but it wasn't true. You see, Shannon, there are people on-line who pretend to be kids; I was one of them. But while others do it to find kids and hurt them, I belong to a group of parents who do it to protect kids from predators. I came here to find you to teach you how dangerous it is to
talk to people on-line. You told me enough about yourself to make it easy for me to find you. Your name the school you went to, the name of your ball team and the position you played. The number and name on your jersey just made finding you a breeze."
Shannon was stunned. "You mean you don't live in Michigan?"
He laughed. "No, I live in Raleigh.
It made you feel safe to think I was so far away, didn't it?"
She nodded.
"I had a friend whose daughter was like you. Only she wasn't as lucky. The guy found her and murdered her while she was home alone. Kids are taught not to tell anyone when they are alone, yet they do it all the time on-line. The wrong people trick you into giving out information a little here and there on-line. Before you know it, you have told them enough for them to find you without even realizing you have done it. I hope you've
learned a lesson from this and won't do it again. Tell others about this so they will be safe too?"
"It's a promise!"
*****NOW*****
Please send this to as many people as you can to teach them not to give any information about themselves. This world we live in today is too dangerous to even give out your age, let alone anything else.
EVEN FORWARD THIS TO PEOPLE WITHOUT KIDS SO THEY CAN SEND IT TO FRIENDS THAT DO HAVE CHILDREN OR GRANDCHILDREN.....
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| categories: Blog Idea of the Day, Family, Friends |
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