STATE MOTTO'S

Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity

Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

Alaska: Jeez, it's cold.

Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat

Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything

California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda

Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedys Don't Own It Yet

Delaware: Everything is smaller here!

Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water

Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids

Florida: America's wang

Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism

Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes. Well Okay, Not Really, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign

Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)

Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians

Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, And Very Little Else

Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nebraska: Land of Two Seasons - Winter and Construction

Nevada: Whores and Poker!

New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone

New Hampshire: Just like Old Hampshire, but newer

New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!

New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets

New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney

North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable

North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan

Ohio: Where one of your dad's friends lives

Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing

Oregon: Spotted Owl - It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal

Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender

South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee: The Educashun State

Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English)

Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont: Yep

Vermont: Gettin' busy with New Hampshire since 1791

Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!

Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?

West Virginia: One Big Happy Family - Really!

Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese

Wisconsin: Come Smell our Dairy Air

Wyoming: Where Men Are Men (And The Sheep Are Scared)
  

http://www.jibjab.com/jokebox/jokebox/jibjab/id/325861/jokeid/87423/fromuserid/317229

                             ENJOY (this link takes you to the joke I uploaded at JIBJAB, see my profile page there for lots more if you like)

Sealed envelope - Put in the freezer for a few hours, then slide a knife under the flap. The envelope can then be resealed.
Use Empty toilet paper roll to store appliance cords. It keeps them neat and you can write on the roll what appliance it belongs to
For icy door steps in freezing temperatures: get warm water and put Dawn
dishwashing liquid in it. Pour it all over the steps. They won't refreeze.
wish I had known this for the last 40 years!)
Crayon marks on walls? This worked wonderfully! A damp rag, dipped in >baking soda. Comes off with little effort (elbow grease that is!).
Permanent marker on appliances/counter tops (like store receipt BLUE!) rubbing alcohol on paper towel.
Whenever I purchase a box of S.O.S Pads, I immediately take a pair of scissors and cut each pad into halves. After years of having to throw away rusted and unused and smelly pads, I finally decided that this would be much more economical. And now a box of S.O.S pads last me indefinitely! In fact, I have noticed that the scissors get sharpened this way!
Blood stains on clothes? Not to worry! Just pour a little hydrogen peroxide on a cloth and proceed to wipe off every drop of blood. Works every time!
Use vertical strokes when washing windows outside and horizontal for inside windows. This way you can tell which side has the streaks. Straight vinegar will get outside windows really clean. Don't wash windows on a sunny day. They will dry too quickly and will probably streak.
Spray a bit of perfume on the lightbulb in any room to create a lovely light scent in each room when the light is turned on.
Place fabric softener sheets in dresser drawers and your clothes will Smell freshly washed for weeks to come. You can also do this with towels and linen.
Candles will last a lot longer if placed in the freezer for at least 3 hours prior to burning.
To clean artificial flowers, pour some salt into a paper bag and add the flowers. Shake vigorously as the salt will absorb all the dust and dirt and leave your artificial flowers looking like new! Works like a charm!
To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stovetop. Spray your TUPPERWARE with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato based sauces and there won't be any stains. Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it Will keep for weeks.
When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out the corn's natural sweetness.
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. Don't throw out all that leftover wine: Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. Left over wine?
To get rid of itch from mosquito bites, try applying soap on the area  And you will experience instant relief.

Ants, ants, ants everywhere ... Well, they are said to never cross a chalk line. So get your chalk out and draw a line on the floor or wherever ants end to march. See for yourself.
Use air-freshener to clean mirrors. It does a good job and better still, leaves a lovely smell to the shine.
When you get a splinter, reach for the scotch tape before resorting to tweezers or a needle. Simply put the scotch tape over the splinter, then pull it off. Scotch tape removes most splinters painlessly and easily.

Now look what you can do with Alka Seltzer.
Clean a toilet. Drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush and flush. The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous China.
Clean a vase. To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water and drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets.
Polish jewelry. Drop two Alka Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes.
Clean a thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if necessary).
Unclog a drain. Clear the sink drain by dropping three Alka Seltzer Tablets down the drain followed by a cup of Heinz White Vinegar. Wait a few minutes, then run the hot water.

Makes you wonder about Alka Seltzer, doesn't it?

 IT'S THE HOLIDAYS WHEN WE ALL SEEM TO OVERINDULGE

10. Hundreds of volunteers have started to stack sandbags around you.

9. Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17 feet tall.

8. You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth's axis.

7. Right this minute you're laughing up pie on the carpet.

6. You decide to take a little nap and wake up in mid-July.

5. World's fattest man sends you a telegram, warning you to "back off!"

4. CBS tells you to lose weight or else.

3. Getting off your couch requires help from the fire department.

2. Every escalator you step on immediately grinds to a halt.

1. You're sweatin' gravy.

I wrote a blog earlier that I was raised Amish. A few days ago some children of my sect were killed. (go see news videos for more details).  I decided this was the time to post.                       I am in a state of  "SHOCK."

WHO ARE THE AMISH?

They set themselves apart from nearly all modern things, and they consider violence to be evil. The following is a guide to the Amish faith.

Who are the Amish? The Amish are descendants of Swiss Anabaptists who shun the trappings of modernity in favor of a simple life. They live in rural settlements in 22 U.S. states and one in Canada.

What is their history? The Amish are an offshoot of the Mennonites, who fled from Switzerland to Germany under persecution for refusing to join the military and for not believing in infant baptism. They split from the Mennonites in 1693, mostly because of the Amish practice of expelling members of the community who break religious guidelines, known as "shunning."

What do they believe in? Isolation, family, community, and a quiet and peaceful way of life. They interpret the Bible literally. They will not serve in the military, draw Social Security or accept government assistance.

How do they survive? Life comes from the land -- mostly crop farming and dairy farming. In all things, piety and plainness are emphasized. Women wear long dresses of solid fabric, with aprons in white or black and cloth caps or bonnets. Men dress in dark pants, suspenders and vest, with a broad-rimmed hat. Many travel in horse-drawn carriages and sell handmade wares and food to tourists. Quilting is one of the best-known talents of Amish women. Amish quilts are made from scraps of worn clothing.

Tell me more about their hats. The width of the brim and hat band and the height and shape of the crown are said to reflect the orthodoxy of the group and individual wearer. A wide brim, low crown, and narrow hat band denotes the oldest and most traditional style. Within church groups, age and status is reflected by the dimensions of the hat. Straw hats usually warn during hot weather.

What's their language? Along with English, they speak a German dialect called Pennsylvania Dutch or Pennsylvania German.

Is is true that they don't use electricity, cars, or any modern conveniences? Amish people interpret linking with electrical wires as a connection with the world. However, rules have softened over time, necessitated by commerce and need. There are Amish telephone booths, for example, that can be used in emergencies. Some dairies sporadically use generator electricity to cool milk containers so it can be sold according to market regulations. Some hire taxis to take them to town. Bottled gas is used to operate water heaters, cookers and refrigerators. Gas lanterns and lamps are used to light homes, barns and shops.

What happens when a member of the community dies? They are buried in wooden coffins; women in all white and men in all black. Bodies are embalmed, but undertakers do not apply makeup. Funerals are held in the victim's home, and the dead are delivered to the cemetery in a horse-drawn carriage.

 I want to say thanks to everyone for there kind thoughts and prayers.

Thank you all.

I found this at a site called PostSecret.com

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person
that wasn't supposed to ever let you down
probably will.

You will have your heart broken probably more
than once and it's harder every time. You'll break
hearts too, SO REMEMBER HOW IT FELT when
yours was broken.

You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a
new love for things an old one did. You'll cry
because time is passing too fast, and you'll
eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, LAUGH too much, and
LOVE like you've never been hurt BECAUSE EVERY
SIXTY SECONDS YOU SPEND UPSET IS A MINUTE
OF HAPPINESS YOU'LL NEVER GET BACK.

(BELIEVE IT; I PROMISE)

The length of ones  pinky is the strongest statistical predictor of intelligence. You figure it out.

*SMILE