I have just had 2 of my pictures picked to be published in Endless Journeys due to be released end of October...These are the pictures that have been chosen...they are also eligible for a $10,000 competition....

NOW YOU ALL GET YOUR MIND BACK UP ABOVE YOUR BELTS.....LOL....

gives swimming a whole new look.....Just click and take a look

http://www.toilette-humor.com/cartoon.html

THIS WAS A TRIP UP THE MOUNTAIN ON THE WEEKEND TO LET NORM KNOW WHY THE TEMPETURES HAD DROPPED...LOL....HE HAD TO GO BUY SOME WARM CLOTHES

The [censored], hereby request a raise in salary for
the following reasons:

1-------- I do physical labor.
2.------- I work at great depths.
3.------- I plunge head first into everything I do.
4.------- I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5.--------I work in a damp environment.
6. -------I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
7.------- I work in high temperatures.
8. -------My work exposes me to diseases.


    Reply: Dear [censored],

After assessing your request, and considering the
arguments you have raised, the management denies your
request for the following reasons:
1.    You do not work 8 hours straight.
2.    You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS AND fall asleep after EACH
    brief work period.
3.    You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
4.    You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen
    visiting other locations.
5.    You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured
    and stimulated in order to start working.
6.   You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of
    your shift.
7.   You don't always follow necessary safety regulations, by wearing the correct  protective gear.        .
8.     You will retire LONG before you are 65.
9.     You are unable to work double shifts.
10.   You sometimes leave your designated work area before
     you have completed the assigned task.  
11.. And if that were not all, you have constantly been seen Entering and exiting  
     the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags!

Sincerely, The Management

Five reasons not to be a [censored] ...

1. You're bald your whole life.
2. You have a hole in your head.
3. Your neighbors are nuts.
4. The guy behind you is an ass hole and..
5. Every time you get excited, you throw up and then faint!

For Kaye ...no it is not mad sex ...LOL...it is when the volcano walls collapse and come down the mountain....there was 1.3million cubic metres of mud and water came down into the main riversand out towards the sea...because it went in 3 stages over a couple of hours the force was not so damaging as the year it was when 151 people were killed as that year it took the railway bridge with it and there wa no warning and the train went into it as the bridge was not there as they came through on Xmas eve.    There was boulders the size of cars coming down this time. there is a pic of the mermorial before and after

Here is a chicken recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing. Imagine that. When I found it, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try.

BAKED STUFFED CHICKEN

6-7 lb. Chicken

1 cup melted butter

1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is good.)

1 cup uncooked popcorn (ORVILLE  REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT)

Salt/pepper to taste

    _____________________________

Preheat  oven to 350 degrees. Brush chicken well with melted butter, salt, and pepper.  Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven.

Listen for the popping sounds. When the chicken's ass blows the oven door open and the chicken flies across the room, it's done.

And, you thought I couldn't  cook.........

To help you forget your everyday problems and read how others put their thoughts into words... These are genuine clips from council complaint letters.

 1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.

3. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.

4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

 5. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

 6. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

7. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

 8. The lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

 9. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

10. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

12. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy.

13. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.

14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

 15. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

16. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

 17. I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.

 18. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

 19. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.

 20. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

 21. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.

22. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction

. 23. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.

Few more pics of the holiday...

TAKE A STROLL THROUGH MY GARDEN