Here is the recap of the first survivor episode on Sept. 15, 2005. Sorry about that whole presidential speech if that got in your way or if your VCR didn’t work. (You should buy a Tivo.)

It didn’t start with people jumping out of a boat. It didn’t start with people picking teams. It started with 16 people divided into two tribes, Yaxha, pronounced “Yaa-Shaw”, and Nakum, pronounced “Naa-Koom”. They hiked in to meet Jeff, who then introduced them to their two new tribe-mates, Stephanie and Bobby Jon, from Survivor: Palau, last season. Everyone was all excited to see them. Some of the women even cried to meet Steph. I like her too, but come on….

The first challenge for reward is a little hike through the jungle. The winner will get the “better” camp and flint for fire. The losers will not. The first team to make it to the good camp will win. Both teams get a map and a compass. Jeff says the most famous words in racing, “Survivors, Ready? Go!”. They have to decide how much of the supplies, fruit, water, corn, they want to carry and how much to leave behind. They’ve never talked to each other before, but there are no conflicts this time. They start running through the jungle.

Both teams go off into the jungle with different maps in different directions. They are not walking on a path, but through the jungle in every sense of the word. Blake has a spiked branch fall on this shoulder and they have to pick spines out of it. The guys all seem to be dehydrated first and start cramping up. They all walk until dark and decide to sleep in the forest, in the dark. Poor cameramen…

They wake up to monkeys in the trees screaming at them. They leave when it’s light. All of the guys seem to be really hurting. The two tribes see each other in the jungle and come out to a road at almost the same time. Steph’s tribe lags behind and they end up at the lake after the others. They both have to get into their canoes and paddle across the lake and hike up into the “good” camp to win. Nakum is ahead and ultimately wins by about 5 minutes or less. It’s basically a 24 hour race and Yaxha loses by 5 minutes. Tough break.

The “winners” get to set up camp, but 4 of their 5 guys are throwing up and laying down. Bobby Jon looks like he’s about to die, seriously like he needs to be in an emergency room now. He got really cold, cramped up and threw up. His eyes rolled back in his head and he’s about to lose it. All of them are throwing up for a while.

This is just good TV, you know? Guys who can’t walk and are throwing up. When they said this would be the toughest, they weren’t kidding. I’m glad I wasn’t eating dinner when I watched this one. Wow. Stephanie said that this was the most difficult challenge in any Survivor ever.

None of the women threw up. None of them. They all feel fine. The losers paddle back across the lake and set up their new camp. This would be Steph’s tribe. She gets everyone organized and they work really well together. They just lost, but they have a great attitude and a lot of heart.

Back at the “good” camp, Yaxha is struggling with their guys. they are pretty beat. Then comes the immunity challenge by treemail on an oar. They all meet by the lake where they are shown the immunity idol and the challenge is explained.

Each tribe has to paddle out to a buoy, go around it, take a torch off of it, come back to shore. When they get to shore, they attached a rope to the front and some of the tribe pulls it up the shore of the lake, while rolling it on top of logs. The others take the logs at the back of the canoe and move them to the front as it moves up the hill.

This works much better in theory than in practice. Paddling canoes is OK, but moving these logs and carrying the boat is not pretty. Steph gets her foot caught under one and another girl gets her foot caught. People are falling down and bumping into each other. Third graders could do better, I think.

So this goes on for a a bit and they are both very close in progress. Finally , Steph’s team, the one with the least amount of sick guys, barely wins it. Yaxha, the blue tribe, gets immunity. This means that there will finally be a tribal council that Steph does NOT attend. Congratulations to Stephanie and Yaxha.

Back at camp, they need to decide who to vote off. No one really knows anyone yet. No one has made any one mad. They’ve all been too busy hiking, sleeping in the jungle, and throwing up. Everyone really likes everyone else. It comes down to the guys feeling bad, so it should be one of them. Jim actually tore a bicep lifting the canoe, so he’s got his arm in a sling. Jim is the weakest one and really needs to see a doctor.

Tribal council is held in a Mayan ruin and looks the part. I wonder if the burning barrels made any permanent marks on the protected ruins, but we’re making TV here, so it doesn’t matter. The Nakum tribe walks in to the council area. Jeff asks some predictable questions, then they vote. I don’t want to ruin the surprise here, but if you’ve been keeping track, there’s one guy who can’t use his arm. The votes? All 5 votes are for Jim, probably out of pity as much as strategy. I think he was glad to go.

This really was the toughest challenge that I’ve ever seen on Survivor. I hope they are all feeling better by the next show. I felt sorry for them all.

Who do you think will do the best? Who will be voted off next? Young? Old? Male? Female?

Tell us what you think in the forum.