So as Lex pointed out, I have only recently switched my daily schedule. Although I am consistently a night person (and have been since I was eight months old), I am attempting to make the conversion to what many called "an early morning schedule." I, on the other hand, call it "the way of pain."

There are, of course, specific reasons - Jadine has recently been attending an early morning "boot camp" where she pays for the privilege of doing push-ups until she pukes in the early morning hours. I can't really talk, however - I'm a tequila drinker, so paying good money to eventually puke makes a weird logic to me. But because this early morning bootcamp occurs at oh-my-god in the morning, and if I get home late from work I probably see her (awake) for approximately an hour, maybe two. And that's not festive time together, really. Eventually she wakes up, realizes I've drawn something on her arm with a felt-tip pen,  and then she beats the snot out of me. And rightfully so.

But as you know, I also work out. So on top of my normal work hours, I need to find a way to squeeze in an hour and a half or so each day in order to keep my Brad Pitt without a shirt definition going. (I of course speak of Bradley Pitt of Madison, Wisconsin who works as a professional bookkeeper for Long's Drugs.) So I have now switched to a morning schedule to see how that will work out. So far, I am not dead. There have been doubts.

My father used to be on a morning schedule when working downtown, and wake up at approximately 5am every morning to drive into Los Angeles. I used to find this peculiar, and often kept quiet in my bedroom as I listened to him get ready for work in the morning (having yet to go to sleep.) Now I'm doing the same thing. We really do become our parents, and it's frightening as hell. When I start rooting for the Oakland Raiders, I will be worried. (But that's another discussion.)

The gym is also radically different in the early morning, but not in how you would expect. There are still quite a number of people working out, but almost all of them are serious about it. None of these soft-bellied exec's who are pretending to work the treadmill while they read the newspaper. No, these people want to get their morning started. I find it particularly unsettling that the same personal trainers I see at around 6pm are also on-hand at 6 in the morning. Don't these people go home? Surely, they're human, right? RIGHT???!?

Lex says he enjoys this "Morning Deuce" experience because a. He has someone to talk to when he gets in, and b. I seem far more cheerful. That's not good cheer, folks. That's sleep deprivation making me giddy and slaphappy. However, it's encouraging us all to do things like drink wheatgrass shots. Take that for what you will. I am particularly amused that when we order the shots, the people behind the counter grow wide-eyed and spooked. I get the sensation not a lot of people do this. Either that, or they fear we'll ask for the enema.

So it's Day Three of the Early Morning Experience and my eyes no longer hurt for the first three hours I'm awake and my body heat schedule is starting to slowly adjust. (slooowwwwwly. I wouldnt' mind wearing a parka for the first half of the day.) Around two, I do find the day to get sluggish, so I'm hoping this goes away. Some day. Maybe. This is not my first experience in early morning life, by the way - in college, I did the morning shift for the radio station oncampus which was quite an amazing experience. You think I'm incoherent and giddy now, you have no idea what we were broadcasting over the air at this time. I'm sure the FCC made a phone call. After my shift, I would pass out in the DJ's lounge until my 11 o'clock class. Worked great.

So now I'm waking up and we'll see how long this sticks. It will last at least until Jadine's Bootcamp class ends, I think. She's a morning person, anyway. It's the only thing that explains these magic marker comments written on my forehead in the morning.

 Oh, and one more thing - now that I'm going to the gym in the morning, now Foobonic can enjoy my presence and motivation as he works out. Because he swears he's been going in the mornings, you see. Yeah.