If a genie offered me three wishes, here's what I would wish for:

1. To kill everybody on Earth.
2. Bring them back, knowing what I had previously done.
3. Then KILL 'EM ALL AGAIN!!!!!

<insert maniacal laughter>

 

I kid. Really.

If I were a flavor, I'd be:

Black licorice.

 

"The Grateful Dead are a lot like licorice. Not everybody likes licorice, but those that do - really, really like licorice." - Jerry Garcia

Suggested by me!

My favorite song is: Take This Waltz by Leonard Cohen, because the lyrics never fail to move me to tears. I'm a sucker for powerful lyrics, and I often have a hard time choosing who's lyrics I think are better - Leonard Cohen or Bernie Taupin. Both are amazing. Coupled with Cohen's low baritone singing style, it's a very moving thing to hear.

The last time I heard it was last night, while driving home (and yes, the tears did well up.) The lyrics go like this:

Now in Vienna there's ten pretty women
There's a shoulder where Death comes to cry **
There's a lobby with nine hundred windows
There's a tree where the doves go to die  **
There's a piece that was torn from the morning
And it hangs in the gallery of frost
Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay
Take this waltz, take this waltz
Take this waltz with the clamp on its jaws

Oh I want you, I want you, I want you
On a chair with a dead magazine
In the cave at the tip of the lily
In some hallway where love's never been ** 
On a bed where the moon has been sweating
In a cry filled with footsteps and sand
Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay
Take this waltz, take this waltz
Take its broken waist in your hand

This waltz, this waltz, this waltz, this waltz
With its very own breath of brandy and death ** 
Dragging its tail in the sea

There's a concert hall in Vienna
Where your mouth had a thousand reviews
There's a bar where the boys have stopped talking **  
They've been sentenced to death by the blues **
Ah, but who is it climbs to your picture
With a garland of freshly cut tears?
Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay
Take this waltz, take this waltz
Take this waltz it's been dying for years **

There's an attic where children are playing
Where I've got to lie down with you soon
In a dream of Hungarian lanterns
In the mist of some sweet afternoon
And I'll see what you've chained to your sorrow
All your sheep and your lilies of snow
Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay
Take this waltz, take this waltz
With its "I'll never forget you, you know." **

This waltz, this waltz, this waltz, this waltz ...

And I'll dance with you in Vienna
I'll be wearing a river's disguise
The hyacinth wild on my shoulder,
My mouth on the dew of your thighs
And I'll bury my soul in a scrapbook, **
With the photographs there, and the moss
And I'll yield to the flood of your beauty
My cheap violin and my cross
And you'll carry me down on your dancing
To the pools that you lift on your wrist
Oh my love, Oh my love
Take this waltz, take this waltz **
It's yours now. It's all that there is... **

---

** denotes portions I find particularly moving.  

1. What is your favorite word? Probably triskadekaphobia - fear of the number 13. It's also known as tridekaphobia, but I like my version better. Just has a better cadence.

2. What is your least favorite word? Verbiage, followed closely by pro-active. Not a big fan of the word fortnight, either.

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Music that seemingly comes from the Ether - As a musician and songwriter, I can pretty much understand most styles of pop music. If you've done it long enough, you learn all the tricks. But occasionally an artist will pop up and I'll be fascinated at how they came up with something - I'm absolutely floored by the Killers, continually surprised by their musical and melodic choices. Same with Bauhaus and of course, the Toughskins. 

4. What turns you off? Ignorance by choice, and reveling in it.

5. What is your favorite curse word? The C-word. I could expound for several paragraphs as to why, but the brief summary is that it seems to be the last truly offensive word, for reasons that make little sense. Fascinates me.

6. What sound or noise do you love? Jadine saying "Hi" on the phone, the sound of a blender making a milkshake and the vocal flourish done before the third verse of  "Hardwired". Man, we were on that day.

7. What sound or noise do you hate? Noises coming from a car I'm driving, fingers on a chalk board and the singing voice of one of my ex's. (Yeeesh, she sang flat. And sang all the time, it was painful.)

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? I'd love to be an actor.

9. What profession would you not like to do? I already did it - I was a part-time shipping and receiving clerk for a major hotel. Talk about lousy, I had to get up before dawn, arrive before the grocery shipment arrived, unpack everything in the freezer, then lug all of it to the different kitchens through the hotel three times a day. Grunt work, and you had to kiss the chefs' butts (all of them primadonnas), for barely minimum wage. Hotels pay like crap.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "So what would you like to do next?"

The best birthday present I ever received was a surprise birthday party when I turned 22. I had worked that day, and it was a pretty crummy day. Afterwards a couple of people had agreed to meet up with me for dinner later that night.

Well I was feeling pretty low, and I almost cancelled. But I was so glad I didn't, because when I arrived, all of my co-workers were there. They had brought some decorations and we did karaoke through the night. It was a simple gesture, but one that I still remember and hold fondly. Gifts are nice, but memories like that I cherish far more.

My five favorite musical artists are:

1. Tool.
2. Bauhaus.
3. Johnny Cash.
4. NIN.
5. The Toughskins.

 

...God bless the Toughskins.

Last Call Poker.