> Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - the last
> one is great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
> immediately take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole?
>
> Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did.................
>
> FIRST TESTIMONY:
> I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in
> tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and
> a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never
> went back. My husband didn't say a word...he knew better.
>
> SECOND TESTIMONY:
> I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf
> balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
> After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of
> the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he
> could
> help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I
> like
> playing with men's balls."
>
> THIRD TESTIMONY:
> My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that
> sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the
> display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any
> help. I replied,
> "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh
> hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked
> away. To this
> day, my sister has never let me forget.
>
> FOURTH TESTIMONY:
> While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
> release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to
> grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and a
> nnoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not
> start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror,
> she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
> threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell
> Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The
> silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even
> the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the
> last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter
> in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me,
> were screams of laughter.
>
> FIFTH TESTIMONY:
> Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My
> three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training
> and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for
> a
> quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full
> dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny,
> so of course
> I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean.
> Then, I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
> I
> asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I kept thinking
> "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any
> clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't
> have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must
> have had
> an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I
> asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time
> he
> jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks
> and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly
> choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up
> his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better,
> thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
>
> LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
> This had most of the state of Michigan STATE laughing for 2
> days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the
> future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you
> predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor
> that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
> turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8
> inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to
> leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so
> hard!
>
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