Well I'm back agian to wright some thing else about my life and this time it is gonna be kinda hard and make some people seem bad and I know I'm not perfect and I wasn't then. First any one who reads I don't mind, the reason I do this is I try to talk to the people I tell you about in most of my blogs but they tell me to get over it or don't listen so grab is the only place I have to run to. Here gose, When we little our dad left us and mom was one of those women  who were raised to depend on a man to take care of then so she did know how to do any thing .We lost our car, mom worked 2 jobs and went to school at night .Then we lost our house . Then we moved to another house my sister met the love of her life at 15 well you know how that gose but they are still to gether today and growing but any she was taking care of us and I guess it got to her cuz she started partying hard and her and mom started fighting all the time  and then fighting as in hitting . I remember when they would start (I was 6) I would take all the pets and hide in the closet and wait until it was over . No one ever came and got me unless we had to go to the hospital.Well it really never stoped .We moved round about once every year just becuase . So we moved again into a cute house I liked it there . In the wood we would go for walks .Mom, me, and my brother.There was a little stream there and a little run down house. It was neat there. My sister really wasn't there any more.But then my brother started in on his problems. The doctors saids he was BEH . Mom never knew what he did. Almost every day when I would get home from school he would beat the pure living [censored] out me into a corner. But never in the face. It wasn't until I got older that I started fighting back .Later that year our house bured to the ground. Mom and me went to grandma's and my brother to my aunts . Well as the years pass we got back on track and we be came teenagers. Thats when it really started with my mom , brother pretty much got what he wanted and his way and after going through what she went through with my sister I guess she thought she was going to end doing the same with me but I was nothing like her  no I was not great but not her.Both my brother and sister had friends that would come over trash or take things from the house. I hardly every was home and when I was I had to be home at a certin time then , no. I would sit down and try to talk to her and try to tell her how I was feeling you know those teenage feelings of emptyness but she would tell me to get over it or how she is feeling or hurting. But them oh how can I help or you should this is what she would tell them I never had any one there for me and now I am having a real hard time with it and I am back where I was then no where . I know I sound Like poor poor me but really it's true. I'll tell you why later any how .So then me and mom would get into fights not like my sister's fights but any way she would tell me to me to get out then I would and she would call the cops on me for running away .Now I am 27 now and still don't under stand that. So the more she told me that the more I ran away but I never called her bad names , I never hit her. So I left home at 15. I quit school at 16. Yes I know STUPID.Thats not her falt, thats my falt. I left and went to job corp and came back at 17 I moved in with my bestest friend (Joan) and then met my ex-hu had my son 4 days after  my20th birth day (my x is a whole other story but thats the road I chose) Then I met my man now and we have been up and down lost one baby and had one my I love both my boys very very much.But with me and my mom, sister,and brother well first brother still at home with mom with new baby and wife no longer beating up people but not that close with him but ok, my sister, still with her first no partying great mom of one helped me with mind but trys to contoll my life and boss me around closer to her then any of then but doesn't like any of my friend or boyfriends, and mom, I still need to get over it and still helps every one but me . Me , I will help if they ask ,you can ask any one who knows me I try to help out any one you, them,thestranger down the road, my hubee gets on to me becuase of that.I've learned some on that but I do but any way back to what I was saying it's bad to grow up empty. Thank you for listening I do feel better now.