Hey everyone, I am making a new account for these 3 reasons

1) Fresh start - Fresh Karma, Fresh Profile.

2) Friends list - As you may, or may not know, my friends list is a mad jumble of friends, people I don't know, some of which I have never talked too....It has become so large, that it would take a rather long time to sift through, and sort out.

3) I Hate this account. With my new one I will blog more often, organise my photo album, and get a better name  The name on this one is weird/doesnt relate to me/and somewhat embarrising.

My New account name shall be - ExoticDiamonds

I will be making bullitins ect. in the next week or so, plese don't get too mad if you find yourself reading the same information.

Previously I have made an account called Flissi.
People rated my karma bad because they did not believe it was me.

some knew, others didn't.
So with this account I just want to set it straight.

This is JODIE, JODIE the one and only.
ExoticDiamonds will be JODIE, JODIE the one and only.

See you soon x

ps, I will be only accepting requests on that account if I consider you a TRUE friend.

Thanks

On amuch more positive note to my last two blogs, I would just like to say everything is going well and smoothly today. My Mum was delighted with her gifts, My Dad and Sister getting along just fine, and me with a grin on my face!!

I have to go now, but I will keep you updated.

<3 Much Love xx

I am so wound up, frustrated and upset right now. I'm sick and tired of being me. My dad and sister can never get along, they are always at eachothers throats. They can't be nice to eachother for one second, with out clawing eachothers eyes out. I look forward to times like Mothers day and birthdays, because thats the only days they truly get along. Whether it's about dirty dishes, or attitude towards one another there is always something bad going on.

Sister -- [Says something]

Dad -- [Twists it]

Sister -- [Gets Sarcastic]

Dad -- [Starts swearing and shouting, bashing things around]

Sister -- [goes up to room, or shouts back]

Dad -- [is left, still cursing, calling sister names, swearing, basing about]

Me -- [Trys to refrian dad, gets shouted at in the process]

Seems silly, you know. Making a blog about a dead hamster. But I just wanted a place to let out everything I feel right now. I am feeling guilt, since I got my new dog I never really had time for it. I am feeling sadness, for obvious reasons. But most of all I am feeling empty. I was close to my hamster, he used to sit on my bed while I did homework. He used to climb up my back, and keep me awake at night on its squeaky wheel. I am feelings a little pang of relief, because I KNEW that with my new pet and other happenings I didn't have much time for him. But I just hope he is in a better place, with wheels to run on, Cage bars to chew, Sawdust to rearange and hamster food to stuff in his pockets.

RIP Roxy 24th March 2006

Jodie xx

This poem is called No Name for a reason, not because I could think of no name...lol.

I Sit there in class, keeping my mouth Shut.
I pull my sleeves down past my wrists, so nobody will notice the cut.
I look around me, Insecure and so afraid.
I go over everything I do, even every breath I made.
I don't want to get out of line, I don't want to get out of place.
Because if I do, someone might Scratch and bruise my Face.
I think wether I should speak, I even think before I sneeze
Because the people in my class, all they do is tease.
I wonder if any of them stop to think, stop to think of me.
Stop to think of my feelings I have as I drop down to my knees.
Sometimes they laugh at my hair, other times my Clothes.
Or they make examples of my shoes, with the torn and tatty holes.

Do they ever put themselves in my position.
And when I cry for help, does anybody listen?
I get home, and act all chirpy, mother doesn't Have a clue.
She says "Sit down darling, how are you"
I force a smile, hold back a tear, I wish I could tell her all I feel is fear.
But something tells me I shouldn't, I keep my jaws Clamped.
Because If I am a snitch, I am likely to get lamped.
After putting on the act, I run up to my room Its like a chamber of secrets, Tears pain and Gloom.

Tomorrow is just another day, I'll act like I am not there.
I remember that if I speak, I'll be spun round by my hair.
One day I will look my bullies in the face, but that day is not today
Tomorrow I'll be no-name, thats my usual game.

It wouldn’t have been so bad, if she left something behind. But she left nothing. Apart from a world of pain, tears and mystery. I stood for a minute, looking out of the dirty window. Perhaps in hope of seeing her face one last time, but the cold, icy street lay barren as it always had been. The frost began to nip at my face, almost freezing the tears that slid down my cheek. Preserving this moment, for a lifetime. Oh how I wished it was all a dream, oh how I wished I could wake up, and still have her there in my arms.

 I sank into my armchair. Running my fingers along the arm, appreciating the emerald green color, and the smooth feeling. Trying not to think of the tragedy, but one thing always led to another. I noticed a picture on the floor; it always used to hang on the wall It was a picture of myself and her. Pulling myself out of the chair, I noticed the delicate glass frame had been cracked and chipped. I picked up the picture slowly, running my fingers over the delicate frame I began to cry. Someone, presumably her had scribbled out my face, and on the back written: It was all fake, I was NEVER happy with you. I held the picture close to my heart, and sobbed.

She didn’t love me, but still I missed her. Snapping a piece of jagged glass, I decided this was my only option. Creating pain, to ease pain. I’d never considered this before, but I had nothing to loose, with great ease I swept the glass across my wrist, and screamed.

Anybody, can anybody answer my question?!?!

I know a blog is supposed to be your one personal thing, but seriosly what makes a good blog? I see lots of people with millions of blog comments. All I have, is this measly good-for-nothing blog. I try blogging about my own life, but no one seems interested. I try the blog-ideas but you can only really use them so many times, cant you?!

Hehe, well anyway. On a more positive note I've been enjoying

Jedi_Lizzie's Blog

and

D0rk's blog

a lot lately

Everything is pear shaped, life and love gets tough
I hold a knife to my throat, for the adrenilin rush
I feel the cold blade tingle, against my skin
My heart is waring out, the pain is kicking in
Blood starting to trickle down my arms and wrists
I shut my eyes and I clench my fists
Holding a knife in one hand my eyes on the clock
I count the minutes as they slowly 'tick tock'
I cant take the pressure, I'm drenched in my pain
I place the blade on my wrist, and I search for the vein
Everything around me the people they say
Its better off without her, they hiss and walk away
So I'm not wanted here, what harm can it be
Could it be the doors are closing on me?
I shut my eyes, I dig real deep
I let out a high pitched weep
I scratch the blade across my neck
I want some more, but it hurts like heck
I carry on doing it until its time to stop
I get walked over, as I lifelessly drop...

These are some poems that I have written, about Drink Driving. Hope you like them....

Poem 1

ide the Snow was falling on the road
He got on his knees and slipped on my hand a solid band of gold
I began to cry, tears of joy they where streaming down my face
We have a few celabratory drinks, listened to the band and its bass
the pub was merry and full of our pals
He talked to his mates, I giggled with my gals
I'm engaged I announced, and a round of drinks where brought
But neither of us stopped and thought
and when the time came to slip on our coats
the last glass of wine had flowed down our throats
we stepped outside, in the midnight frost
the Fogg was so thick we where almost lost
We stumbled around, searching through my purse
he looked in his wallet and said this cant get worse
We had no money left it was all spent on booze
I fumbled around in my pocket and pulled out some tissues
I was wiping my tears when he piped up and said
We'll take the car, or else we will freeze to death
So I got in the car reluctantly
He put on his seatbelt and looked at me
it will be ok he reassured
I strapped myself in and we slammed the doors
Our house was over 10 miles away
We're not going to make it I said, not no way
Yes we are he said, now dont have your doubts
*CRASH BANG*...Blackout.
I saw the sirens, I heard them too
I whispered quietly, I love you
Your legs where trapped, under the wheel
I wished you had listened, I cant explain how I feel
you outstreched your hand, and it linked with mine
come on he said, it will be just fine
I thanked god, and hung on your every word
While part of me cried COME ON THIS IS UBSURD
Your complexion like china, your face turned cold
your hand slipped from mine, and my hope grew old
I was pulled out onto a strecher, while you where still in our car
I wished we had arranged transport before we stepped up to that bar
I was wrapped in a blanket and ushered inside
I talked to your parents, and we both cried
You where gone, your life taken away
Please think before mixing drink with the road, this holiday.

poem 2

When it?s late at night, and I cannot sleep
I sit up to find you resting at my feet
You tell me its okay, and you continue to stare
You lean over and run your fingers through my hair
I pull you up the bed, and hug you tight
I feel your warmth in the middle of the night
I thank god that I have you, and how lucky I must be
For the mutual love, that?s easy to see
When I see your smile, I light up inside
I hold on tight as you take my heart for a ride
Your hands are so warm as they hold onto mine
At this point in my life, I am at my prime
We go out one day, for a couple of drinks
Kisses all around no one stops and thinks
How will we get home on this freezing cold night?
No Taxi?s around, and Buses out of sight
So we get in our car, you turn on the ignition
I tell you its dangerous, its okay you say, I wish you would listen
So I strap on my seatbelt as I am pushed back into my chair
And you lean over to stroke my golden hair
You keep your eyes fixed on the road but somehow it seems
You eventually went into the land of dreams
We swerve every where and the impact is felt
Nothing stops you, not even your belt
Your face flies forward, and the airbags explode
Oh why oh why did we mix Alcohol with the road
My eyes start to close, long after yours
I interlock my fingers in your hand I see flashing lights, and here Siren Roars
I tell you it will be okay, you never reply
Your face lifeless and cold, I begin to cry
The Ambulance crew Gathers
With our mothers and fathers
They start talking to me, and I say
Save him, he needs it more
Darling they say as they open my door
I?m afraid he is gone, now say goodbye
Why did we drink drive why oh why?
I pause and then take the ring of his hand
I kiss it and put it in my pocket
You where my number one man
The tears are now streaming down my face
I realize I have lost something that I cannot replace

Hey guys, I am pretty much into writing poems, so here is one I have written.
Its alos posted on grab bag.

Holding the shiny object close to my chest
something tells me I should go ahead
what have I got to loose anyway?
and I cant live with whats being said
so I press a little harder
Its so silent I hear my heart beat
I no longer want to look in the mirror
so my eyes drop down to my feet
Why did you do this to me
Did I get what I deserved
I gathered it was you, from all the things I heard
All people do now is stare
They look right past me through me as if I'm not there
But I have lived with it so long now
I have learned not to care
my hands are like ice now, my breaths more shallow
I wonder if I do, if anyone will follow
So I push a little harder
its taking over me
I can hear my chest pumping
my pain is so easy to see
but I kept it bottled in
for so very long
no-one ever saw me, so they didnt suspect anything was wrong

Its time for me to go know say my last goodbye
I'll see you on the other side, you'll never see me cry

Another one: (Inspired by ChArLi_05)

Your bloodstained hands
Your velvet eyes
can anyone hear, my muffled cries?
I sit there shaking for a little while
before forcing, and eery smile
You come towards me I back away
you place your bony hands on me, to make me stay
I scream aloud, but it always seems
as if no-one can hear and its all in my dreams
But I know its not, I can feel it for sure
your cold bony hands, my face against the door
I can also hear it, words I dont want to hear
your my pain, my torture and my ultimate fear
Your arms so strong, I cannot bear, your wirery fingers ripping out my hair
My eyes as black as the ace of spades my arms as blue as the sea
Do I really deserve the pain inflicted on me?
You hurt me soo badly, you hurt me real deep-
but all thats left to do, is sit here and weep