A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.

There are three shelves in the bedroom with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering the entire wall! It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display. There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf. She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large a collection of Teddy Bears, but doesn't mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side.

They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after a while, she finds herself thinking, "Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future father my children?" She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. He responds warmly.

They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love.

She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known, and even did a few things she had never done with any other man.

After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, "Well, how was it?"
The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says......................












"Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf."

Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot after shot.
The Indian man said to the American, "You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't even met once. We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love...I told them that openly and now have a hell lot of family problems." The American said, "Talking about love marriages... I'll tell you my story. I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years.
"After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law.
My daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother.
More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son.
Now my father's son i.e. my brother is my grandson.
Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson.
And you say you have family problems. Gimme a break!!!!"

here is a list of all the two letter words allowed

aa ab ad ae ag ah ai al am an ar as at aw ax ay ba be bi bo by de do ed ef eh el em en er es et ex fa fe go ha he hi hm ho id if in is it jo ka ki la li lo ma me mi mm mo mu my na ne no nu od oe of oh oi om on op or os ow ox oy pa pe pi qi re sh si so ta ti to uh um un up us ut we wo xi xu ya ye yo za

CHEMICAL ANALYSIS OF WOMEN

Element: Women
Symbol: WO
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40 to 200kg.
Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas, with trace elements found in most other areas.

Physical Properties:

1. Surface usually covered in a painted film.
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without any known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields to pressure applied at special points.

Chemical Properties:

1. Has a great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones.
2. Softens and takes on a rosy glow when soaked in hot water
3. Absorbs great quantities of precious substances.
4. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no obvious reason.
5. Insoluble in liquids, but greatly increased activity when saturated in alcohol.
6. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

Common Uses:

1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be great aid to relaxation.
3. Very effective cleaning agent.

Tests:

1. Pure specimens turn pink when discovered in natural state.
2. Turns green when placed next to a better specimen.

Potential Hazards:

1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to possess more than one specimen, although several may be maintained at different locations provided specimens do not come into direct contact.

five women and a man were in danger on a ship and a non rescue helicopter came to save them not having a winch they hung a rope out of the helio and they all clung to it after a short while the rope started to fray and they all decided that one should save the others by giving up thier life so the man said as women were the more beautiful of the species and controlled things better he would give up his life .............

all the women then clapped thier hands !!!!!!!!! 

i can not love you any more i can not try no harder you are the rolls royce in my life and piggin is the lada