Holy Cripes I'm blogging!!!

Yes, the first day of school has arrived which means now that 3 of the boys are in school (Chase would be also but we know where HE is right now), I actually have a smidgeon of time on my hands to sit here and unabashedly BLOG.

I have already accomplished about half of my chore list and WOW does that feel GOOD!  I have plenty left to do, never doubt that.  But it's a good feeling to know that I'm halfway done with my days listed activities and it's not even 8:30 in the morning.  Holy wow.

I'm as excited for my boys as I am for myself.  Chandler begins his first 'real' year being a first grader and as it happens, he has the same teacher Conlan did last year.  Poor woman.  Did she do this to herself or was it mere luck?  Actually she really enjoyed Conlan when he wasn't acting up.  He is a sweet, likable kid who could charm the horns off the devil if he's in the right mood.  And Chandler is just as darling, once you get past his high-pitched mickey mouse voice.

And Conlan is a full-fledged second grader and is looking forward to meeting his new teacher.  Looking forward to a new year of fun, learning, and making new friends, meeting up with ones made from last year.

For me, it allows me more time to accomplish things throughout the day, time to work with Caleb on his pre-K learning, time to regroup throughout the day (even with a 2 year old and a 4 year old at home with me), time to see things from my children's eyes that I haven't thought about for years, time to enjoy the little things in life again.  Summer is enjoyable, however it's a chaotic, restless time for children.  They spend half their summer freedom enjoying being able to do whatever they want (for the most part, anyway) and the rest of the time they plague their caregivers because they're BORED.

However, the first day of school also signifies for me the end of an era and the beginning of a next.  Fall will be approaching before long, which just happens to be my favorite time of year.  The crispness to the air returns, the leaves scuttling along the road, the smell of chimney smoke as people once again think about staying warmer in the evenings instead of searching ways to cool down from a hot day.  The gradual shift of the climate, causing longer sleeves to be worn and the thought of jackets for those cool mornings.

It also represents holidays that will soon be arriving.  Halloween and costumes and the sounds of children laughing and shouting TRICK OR TREAT throughout the neighborhood.  Thanksgiving, a time to be think about the blessings in our life and how much we have as opposed to how much we don't.  A time to be truly grateful for the things in our lives that we take for granted every other day.

Then of course, Christmas.  OMG Christmas.  Can you really believe it's this close?  Have you thought about what you will be getting or making for those loved ones in your life?  Are you prepared for the nastiness of drivers (I don't get it, but it's true) around the season that is supposed to be the most joyous of the year?  The endless lines in the stores and the crankiness of people all struggling to get that one perfect gift?  When did it turn into this?  When did it become so commericalized and all about the presents under the tree?  When did we shift from being joyous and humbled by the birth of our Savior to rats in a maze, shopping shopping shopping, trying to get the gift that will most please and delight?  Shouldn't that holiday be about family, love and peace?

And as the year ends and we celebrate the last day of the year and the beginning of the next, we reflect on things that we have done with our last year.  Things we could have done better, things we are proud of ... accomplisments and trials gotten through.  We cast our eyes on the year approaching, and dream of what we hope to do.  Dreams of better times, a better year, a better us.  We make resolutions of newer, better, more happy selves.  It's a fresh foot foreward, it's a time to shed bad things and look forward with delight to newer, happier times.   Unfortately it can also be a time when people go out to celebrate a little too hard and wind up beginning the new year in tragedy.  I can only pray that the general population will try harder to celebrate with friends and family this year instead of taking their party on the road.

The first day of school.  For many reasons it represents to me more than just another ordinary day.  It's the end of summer.  It's the beginning of a new period.  And I embrace the thrill of the first day of school with all the enthusiasm of a small child.  I do not hang onto my childrens' hands, sorrowful that they aren't home with me.  I push them with a smile towards the van that picks them up, excited for them as they leave me for the day to engage in a whole new world of learning, of friends, and challenges.  I will be here when they come home, excited to tell me all about their day.  I will be here to help them with their homework.  I will be here to share in their learning and to encourage them to meet those challenges.  And I will stand back and allow them to make mistakes that they can learn from.  I will be their rock.  I will be the best mom I can be.

I can only pray that they understand when they're older how much my love for them has been.  Since the time they rested beneath my heart, fluttering kicks and ticklish movements, I have loved them.  Dreamed for them.

The first day of school.  What an awesome day!