Been around awhile, but worth reading again.

Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this!

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. If you agree, pass it on. If you can read this - Thank a teacher! If you are reading it in English -Thank a soldier!!

Holy Cripes I'm blogging!!!

Yes, the first day of school has arrived which means now that 3 of the boys are in school (Chase would be also but we know where HE is right now), I actually have a smidgeon of time on my hands to sit here and unabashedly BLOG.

I have already accomplished about half of my chore list and WOW does that feel GOOD!  I have plenty left to do, never doubt that.  But it's a good feeling to know that I'm halfway done with my days listed activities and it's not even 8:30 in the morning.  Holy wow.

I'm as excited for my boys as I am for myself.  Chandler begins his first 'real' year being a first grader and as it happens, he has the same teacher Conlan did last year.  Poor woman.  Did she do this to herself or was it mere luck?  Actually she really enjoyed Conlan when he wasn't acting up.  He is a sweet, likable kid who could charm the horns off the devil if he's in the right mood.  And Chandler is just as darling, once you get past his high-pitched mickey mouse voice.

And Conlan is a full-fledged second grader and is looking forward to meeting his new teacher.  Looking forward to a new year of fun, learning, and making new friends, meeting up with ones made from last year.

For me, it allows me more time to accomplish things throughout the day, time to work with Caleb on his pre-K learning, time to regroup throughout the day (even with a 2 year old and a 4 year old at home with me), time to see things from my children's eyes that I haven't thought about for years, time to enjoy the little things in life again.  Summer is enjoyable, however it's a chaotic, restless time for children.  They spend half their summer freedom enjoying being able to do whatever they want (for the most part, anyway) and the rest of the time they plague their caregivers because they're BORED.

However, the first day of school also signifies for me the end of an era and the beginning of a next.  Fall will be approaching before long, which just happens to be my favorite time of year.  The crispness to the air returns, the leaves scuttling along the road, the smell of chimney smoke as people once again think about staying warmer in the evenings instead of searching ways to cool down from a hot day.  The gradual shift of the climate, causing longer sleeves to be worn and the thought of jackets for those cool mornings.

It also represents holidays that will soon be arriving.  Halloween and costumes and the sounds of children laughing and shouting TRICK OR TREAT throughout the neighborhood.  Thanksgiving, a time to be think about the blessings in our life and how much we have as opposed to how much we don't.  A time to be truly grateful for the things in our lives that we take for granted every other day.

Then of course, Christmas.  OMG Christmas.  Can you really believe it's this close?  Have you thought about what you will be getting or making for those loved ones in your life?  Are you prepared for the nastiness of drivers (I don't get it, but it's true) around the season that is supposed to be the most joyous of the year?  The endless lines in the stores and the crankiness of people all struggling to get that one perfect gift?  When did it turn into this?  When did it become so commericalized and all about the presents under the tree?  When did we shift from being joyous and humbled by the birth of our Savior to rats in a maze, shopping shopping shopping, trying to get the gift that will most please and delight?  Shouldn't that holiday be about family, love and peace?

And as the year ends and we celebrate the last day of the year and the beginning of the next, we reflect on things that we have done with our last year.  Things we could have done better, things we are proud of ... accomplisments and trials gotten through.  We cast our eyes on the year approaching, and dream of what we hope to do.  Dreams of better times, a better year, a better us.  We make resolutions of newer, better, more happy selves.  It's a fresh foot foreward, it's a time to shed bad things and look forward with delight to newer, happier times.   Unfortately it can also be a time when people go out to celebrate a little too hard and wind up beginning the new year in tragedy.  I can only pray that the general population will try harder to celebrate with friends and family this year instead of taking their party on the road.

The first day of school.  For many reasons it represents to me more than just another ordinary day.  It's the end of summer.  It's the beginning of a new period.  And I embrace the thrill of the first day of school with all the enthusiasm of a small child.  I do not hang onto my childrens' hands, sorrowful that they aren't home with me.  I push them with a smile towards the van that picks them up, excited for them as they leave me for the day to engage in a whole new world of learning, of friends, and challenges.  I will be here when they come home, excited to tell me all about their day.  I will be here to help them with their homework.  I will be here to share in their learning and to encourage them to meet those challenges.  And I will stand back and allow them to make mistakes that they can learn from.  I will be their rock.  I will be the best mom I can be.

I can only pray that they understand when they're older how much my love for them has been.  Since the time they rested beneath my heart, fluttering kicks and ticklish movements, I have loved them.  Dreamed for them.

The first day of school.  What an awesome day!

A nylon stocking does not work well as a coffee filter.

 

Have you ever noticed that time is a matter of perspective?

Time can slow to a crawl when you're waiting for something incredible and wonderful to happen.  Yet by the same token, it can warp to light speed when something you aren't looking forward to is awaiting, or perhaps when you're doing something that you're truly enjoying.

Time can also pass by without notice.  This is my conundrum.

conundrum

(n.)

A paradoxical, insoluble, or difficult problem; a dilemma

School just started it seems.  Suddenly I'm faced with the end of the school year already.  Two more days.  My 7 year old will be a budding second grader in a matter of 2 days.  My 6 year old will be looking forward to the wonders of first grade in less time than that.  *sigh*  How did this happen?

I know time has slowed during this year.  It has crawled, it has dragged by, it has almost come to a dead stop during different months.  My 8-almost-9 year old is still working hard in his hospitalization.  It seems as though it's been forever since I had to admit him to the residential facility to provide him the help he needed.

Time has flown on the wings of eagles.  Holidays, time spent with my son in the hospital, school events...all come and gone much too fast.  Even time spent alone, doing things I enjoy, gone too quickly to be savored.

Time has crawled in other aspects as well.  Waiting for my love to be able to come visit, to join me and mine for a few days has been a slow torture.  We talk everyday, we grow more in love with each other every minute, every hour.  We support each other with the only methods available to us currently; words, emotions verbalized and wishes spoken out loud.  We are there for each other as much as humanly possible.  And our love only deepens with the passage of time.

So if time has crawled, if time has sped by .... how is it possible that it can have passed by without notice so that suddenly, in the blink of an eye, another school year is gone.  Only memories remaining of goals accomplished and pride taken in learning new skills.

I know personally that I will attempt to cherish each moment as it passes, good or bad.  Memories are to be made in order to be remembered fondly (or not).  Time is the one commodity we have that we often spend foolishly, wasting it with harsh words, bad feelings, and other negative means.  Why not try to smile today, this minute?  Why not tell that someone how much you love them?  Hug your children?  Make a friend happy?  Cause a perfect stranger to have a better day?

It's only time.

 

How well will you spend your share of it?

1 - ZERO GRAVITY:  When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered  that ball point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem NASA scientist spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside-down, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C.  The Russians used a pencil. 

Your taxes are due again - enjoy paying them.

2 - OUR CONSTITUTION: They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours?  It was written by a lot of smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years and we're not using it anymore. 

3- TEN COMMANDMENTS: The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse is that you cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal", "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery", and "Thou Shalt Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians!! 

It creates a hostile work environment.

 

About boys.

Maybe someone can help me out here.

Butt fighting. What the HELL is that about? The other night 3 of the boys are in the living room. I hear Conlan, the 7 year old, shout BUTT FIGHT!!! Cautiously I peeked around the corner and sure enough, there are two of the boys BUTT FIGHTING. What the hell? This was one of those times I simply shook my head and walked away. QUIETLY.

Rollercoasters. No, not your average everyday you'll-never-get-me-on-one-of-those rollercoasters. I mean, dragging a comforter off one of the beds and having 4 boys climb on and RIDE it down the stairs. I was informed by my 6 year old that it is fun because when you land, you get to hurt your nuts. Ummmm .... right.

Retirement. Ok, this one is a little odd but I have to include it simply because it struck my funny bone. Listening to the conversation from the back of the van the other day, I was amused to hear this gem.
Chandler: What happens when you die?
Conlan: You retire.
Chandler: When you die you retire?
Conlan: NO it's the other way around stupid.
Chandler: But I don't want to die!
Conlan: Well then you better work all your life.
Me: Shakes head and hides grin.

There are just way too many opportunities in which I have a choice. Do I intervene and correct? Or do I just shake my head and chock it up to the fact that testosterone rots the brain?

I just don't get it.

 

Well Merry Christmas!  There apparently is a new hand gesture that goes along with the Christmas spirit.  The one finger salute.

In the last week I have had no less than three people offer me the newest gesture in the warmest Christmas fashion.  All of them while driving, I might add.  Yea!  I'm number one!  That one finger held up told me so.

And speaking of Christmas, that brings me around to Santa.  Are we, as christians, doing our children something of an injustice with the Santa business?  I mean sure, he was real at one point and the spirit lives on.  However, isn't Christmas supposed to be about the birth of Jesus and the gifts that were given in celebration of his birth?  Not some fat dude wrapped up in a red sweat suit hollering HO HO HO?  But our Savior and King?  Coming to earth in human form in order to live His life teaching and preaching the ways of the holy father?  Dying for our sins which just happens to be yet another holiday. 

I bet atheists take that paid day off (Good Friday I speak of here) regardless of belief.  Same for Christmas in fact.  Not dissing on the atheists and their right to believe or not, which happens to be protected by the constitution, but merely mentioning it as an aside.  Why is it they want their belief, or rather NON-belief of the christian faith to be banned from schools, court houses and even sporting events and GOOD GOD OUR MONEY!  Don't get me started on this I think .....

So anyhow, as I lay awake half the night concerned over a person very dear to my heart because of their relative stubborness regarding health, these thoughts pass through my brain.  And  being since I was woken by my darling children at 4:30 this morning, I've had plenty of time for the brain to continue pondering the above matters.  Among others.

Such as.....Since when did cleaning the bathroom toilet become a spectator sport?

OY already!

I've been in a really snitty mood today.  I mean anything and everything has gotten under my skin and gone straight to my last nerve, where whatever it happened to be at that moment stood there for the next 10 minutes.  Doesn't make for a pretty picture does it?

 

Well, so in one of my saner moments *insert hysterical laughter here*, something came to my mind.  Yeah. That actually happens now and then.  Drives me crazy, too.  ANYHOO....

It was from a sermon about a month or so ago at church.  Duh.  Church.  Where else?   The pastor is actually quite bright and I enjoy his speeches thoroughly.  All that aside, this came to mind before I hit my next antagonistic adventure.

LOVE THY NEIGHBOR.

Sounds fairly simple.  But there is so much more to it than what it sounds like.  Especially when you are in a rotten mood and ready to smack anything that runs in the house or whines for longer than 20 minutes at a time.

I think our challenge there is to love people who aren't all that lovable.  It's EASY to love (like, whatever) someone who is nice to you, cordial and all polite.  There is no challenge in that.  If it were only that simple.  However, it's much more difficult to love (much less like) someone who is spiteful, petty, rude, antagonistic and sometimes just downright hateful.  THERE is our challenge.  Maybe it's just a CHOICE.

Have you ever been in a store, maybe standing in line and people are tired, ready to check out and every single lane has no less than 5 people all with carts brimming with groceries?  The cashier is harried (poor checker), dealing with more than they really need at the moment and all you want to do is get home and unload your own stash.  That poor checker is ready to walk out because of the last 10 rude people and she can barely look the customers in the eye without muttering a death wish.  You finally are the one she is ringing up and here is your chance.  Your choice.  Polish your own bad mood because of the mood the checker is in (it CAN rub off sooooo easily) or you can look at them and smile.  Notice out loud how busy they've been.  Thank them for getting through those customers ahead of you so quickly (even though it took 30 minutes).  Compliment them on something (hair, nails, professionalism, whatever).  Thank them for ringing you up so nicely and fast.  Wish them a good day and an easy night.  Sometimes that is all it takes to reverse a persons outlook.  Sometimes not, but I've done this before and it has worked.  You could see the tension in the shoulders drain a little, the stress lines around the eyes soften.  The clerk actually smiled back at me and thanked me for being so pleasant.  It made ME feel good and forget my own black mood.  And something even more amazing.  It lightened the mood of the people BEHIND me. 

Being nice to someone who is being rude is difficult but not impossible.  Some people are just bent on making others mad and miserable.  You can't always change that. You can, however, change how you respond to their ugliness.  You can react with your own black feelings or you can smile and tell them you're sorry they feel so bad inside.  That if they feel like talking about whatever is causing their mood, you would be willing to listen.  Maybe you're not really, but the offer could be held out anyhow.  Could be that you make a lifelong friend.  Could be you just [censored] them off that much more that you're not reacting to their miserable mood.  Whichever, your attitude is your choice.  And so is how you react.

Loving they neighbor is a difficult task to take on at times.  Truly, my neighbors to the left aren't much to talk about, but I continue to smile and wave at them every time they dare to brave the daylight.  They look at me like I've grown two extra heads and turn around.  *sigh*  However I think one of them is warming up to me ... after my living here for the last 7 years, he kind of lifted his hand like he was thinking about waving back the other day.  Hey, it's progress.

So the next time someone comes across your path that is less than lovable, keep in mind the challenge set before us by God.  And for those of you who don't believe in God, think of it as Karma.  What comes around goes around.  You get back what you put out.  You can love your neighbor or you can be just as hateful and nasty as they are.  Give them back what they gave to you.  Keep that black ring going.

I think, for me, I'd rather love my neighbor (so long as it's not my ex, I'm still working on those ugly feelings).  It might not be easy, but the rewards can be awesome.

 

Here is something that has stuck with me ever since I read it years ago.  I'm sure many have already seen it, but for the reminder and for those who haven't ....

Mean Moms

I loved you enough...

 Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them:

 I loved you enough... to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.

 I loved you enough... to insist that you save your money and buy a bike for yourself even though we could afford to buy one for you.

 I loved you enough... to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.

 I loved you enough... to make you go pay for the bubble gum you had taken and tell the clerk, "I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it."

 I loved you enough... to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

 I loved you enough... to let you see anger, disappointment and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.

 I loved you enough... to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

 But most of all, I loved you enough... to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it.

 Those were the most difficult battles of all.

 I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.

 And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them...

Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.

 Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison.

 She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them.

 She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.

 We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the child labor laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

 She always insisted on us telling the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

 By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds. Then, life was really tough!

 Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them.

Because of our mother, we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced.

 None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.

 Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. And we are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.

 I think that is what's wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have enough mean moms.

 

and ..... A MOTHERS PRAYER

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray my sanity to keep.
For if some peace I do not find,
I'm pretty sure I'll lose my mind.

I pray I find a little quiet
Far from the daily family riot
May I lie back--not have to think
about what they're stuffing down the sink,
or who they're with, or where they're at
and what they're doing to the cat.

I pray for time all to myself
(did something just fall off a shelf?)
To cuddle in my nice, soft bed
(Oh no, not another goldfish--dead!)

Some silent moments for goodness sake
(Did I just hear a window break?)
And that I need not cook or clean--
(well heck, I've got the right to dream)

Yes, now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray my wits about me keep,
But as I look around I know--
I must have lost them long ago!

Some things just say it all .... doncha think?

 

I was in church this past Sunday and a woman walked up behind me and gave me a light squeeze on my upper arm.  Contact.  It felt really good.  I didn't realize up until that point in time - such a sudden realization - how much I missed the contact of another person.

Yes, I get hugs all the time from my children and I give hugs to them all the time as well.  It's different, however from a touch from that special someone in your life.  I believe a human NEEDS touch, craves it.  A simple stimulation of the skin.  It can say volumes to the brain and heart.  I like you.  You're special.  I'm listening.  You're a good friend.  I'm sorry.  I love you.  You're needed.

That in itself is something I miss from being in a relationship.  Just a simple touch.

Touch is the first sense to develop early in the womb, around 8 weeks gestation.  A simple hug increases the hemoglobin in the blood. Hemoglobin is what carries oxygen throughout our bodies.  On the other hand, infants in orphanages have failed to thrive when they did not get enough handling and cuddling from their care givers. Touch deprivation also causes psychological responses such as helplessness, confusion, and sadness.

Touch is vital, I believe, for eventual happiness.  We can exist without it, but it's a lonesome existence.  The touch between a parent and child is special.  It can convey approval, love, and compassion.  It can also convey dissapproval, anger and concern.  As is also the touch between lover and lifemate.  I love you, I want you, I'm upset, You're special to me .... or something even deeper that ONLY a touch can express.

Hugs are as important to the soul as nutrition is to the body.  Yes, we need hugs.

Who have you hugged today? 

My oldest son is sixteen years old.  Besides wondering what happened to his babyhood and elementary school years, I'm now teaching him how to drive.  This is a daunting task.  See ... he already knows everything.  He knows more than I do most any given day.  Just ask him, he'll tell you.

So he got his permit at the tailend of June.  He's driven maybe five times.  He's not that bad really.  It's more ME.  I'm a nervous wreck and pray fervantly for the 'chicken brake' to magically appear.  I also find myself gripping the arm rests in an attempt to keep from grabbing the steering wheel as he veers unnervingly close to cars parked along the road.  This van could sell four times over and my fingerprints will still be firmly lodged into the armrests of the passenger seat.  "Sir, what are these markings on the armrests?"  "Oh, that.  A previous owner was teaching her teenaged son how to drive ten years ago."

Casey, my teen, decided to show off one day while I was held captive in the passenger seat of my own van.
"I can parallel park, Mom."
"No, you can't.  You can't even park into a regular spot."
"Sure, I can.  Watch me."
"Nooooooooo!!!!!  Caseeeeeeyyyyyyy.........."

Sure as a button, this kid who cannot park into a regular everyday average parking spot without taking out at least 3 cars, pulled up, stopped, threw it in reverse, backed up, pulled forward and threw it into park.  Whipped his head around and grinned at me.  I could see his grin because amazingly my eyes had not yet rolled into the back of my head.

Shaken, not stirred, I open my car door to find he had perfectly parked.  Parallel!!  All I could do was stare at him in wonder.  "It must be genetic.  It's the testosterone. You're a man (figuratively speaking)."  Still grinning he pulls out of the space and continues on.  I'm personally still too numb to consider grabbing for the steering wheel.

I think men SEARCH for spaces they can parallel park.  It's like a test of manhood.  In fact, I'm willing to bet some cultures base their entire transition of boy-to-man trials on how fast you can ease that vehicle into a spot, parallel parking.

Now, I CAN parallel park.  However, it took me years of frustration and cursing in just the right way before I was able to get it down.  I still avoid it if I can.  I'll walk an extra half mile or 8 blocks if I can abstain from this tortuous form of parking.  I have to assume that being a tomboy more than half my life just doesn't count towards the testosterone level needed for this task.

I can build fences, train horses, pack up an entire house in 2 days or less, mow my acre of a backyard, and snake a toilet faster than some plumbers can.  But when it comes to parallel parking, from now on I might just get out and let my son do it.