A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house.
She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
'What are you doing?' she asked.
'I'm waiting for Justin to come home from work.' The daughter-in-law answered.
'But you're naked!' the mother-in-law exclaimed. 'This is my love dress,' the daughter-in-law explained.'Love dress? But you're naked!' 'Justin loves me to wear this dress,' she explained.
'Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and
ravages me for hours.'
The mother-in-law left. When she got home she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume,
dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
'What are you doing?' he asked.
'This is my love dress,' she whispered, sensually.
'Needs ironing,' he said, 'What's for dinner?'
:)

Here is a little different view from our lady Maxine

A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. 'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked.

'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowboy offered. 'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota , I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.

So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him in his face ... Kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, back off!! Or I'll kick the [censored] out of all of you!'

St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?'

'Just a couple of minutes ago......'

I would like to say thank you to sweetladybug for all the encouragement she has given me and for sending people to read my latest blog.It is very encouraging to see that I am not alone in loving and believing in the Lord. I recently visited TD Jakes website and I loved it! It is a very good place to find encouragement and hope.

 

I   recently asked God for a miracle in that He heal my body and bring me peace.His answer to me was to put it in my mind that I cant do anything alone,that I would have to accept help in the form of human angels.This was His way of  bringing me my Miracle! I thank God now ,everyday for my family,and my friends! It has  helped me tremendously to be able to talk about diabetes to friends here and to have my family rally round me to help with appointments and a way to get to them..I have always been the kind of person that if I cant do it myself ,it just wouldnt get done.I  wouldnt accept any help from anyone. I was the one who was always there to give,but not to accept. Sweet folks,that was wrong. I wonder how many times I have denied someone a blessing because I refused help. I know now that God is healing me,not only in my body but also in my spirit.and Angels are called friends and family here on earth.

                                                                                                                  thank you

                                                                                                                         Jean 

By T. D. Jakes There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19] People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go. And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.. You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something.. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye.. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!! If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to...... LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ....... LET IT GO!!! If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...... LET IT GO!!! If someone has angered you. LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge..... LET IT GO!!! If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction... .. LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents LET IT GO!!! If you have a bad attitude.... ... LET IT GO!!! If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...... LET IT GO!!! If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him......... LET IT GO!!! If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship. .... LET IT GO!!! If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves.. .... LET IT GO!!! If you're feeling depressed and stressed ............ LET IT GO!!! If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying 'take your hands off of it,' then you need to...... LET IT GO!!! 'The Battle is the Lord's!'

WITCHYS WIKKED GRAPHIX

A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!"
His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?
The son replied, "I do know!"
"Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?"
"That's easy, Daddy..." the young boy replied excitedly," It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.' (This one is my favorite)
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There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.
"Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.
"Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady.
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Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."
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A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter.
Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses."
When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."
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There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."
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While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign... "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust."
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A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?"
A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy.
"Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked.
"You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven...
==================================================================
A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.
"Reverend," said the young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."
The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."
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People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center of attention..
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Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about.
The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt"
Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about.
He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."
=================================================================
The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play.
"Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But, you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances."
During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up."
At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled Banner."
And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!
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Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk
*****************************************************************

Hope everyone is having a very nice day.

A woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services, when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled: 'Stop! Acts 2:38!'
(Repent and be Baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ , so that your sins may be forgiven.)

The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.

As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar: 'Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you.'

'Scripture?' replied the burglar. 'She said she had an Ax and Two 38s!'




Johnny's Mother looked out the window and noticed Him "playing church" with their cat.

He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it.
She smiled and went about her work.
A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back To the open window to see Johnny baptizing the cat in a tub of water.
She called out, "Johnny, stop that! The cat is afraid of water!"
Johnny looked up at her and said,
"He should have thought about that before he joined my church."

The bartender was washing his glasses when an elderly Irishman came in. With great difficulty, the Irishman hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, and asked for a sip of Irish whiskey.

The Irishman looked down the bar and asked, "Is that Jesus down there?"

The bartender nodded, so the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey, too.

The next patron to come in was an ailing Italian with a hunched back, who moved very slow. He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti.

He also looked down the bar and asked, “Is that Jesus sitting at the end of the bar?”

The bartender nodded, so the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti, too.

The third patron to enter the bar was a redneck, who swaggered into the bar and hollered, "Barkeep, set me up a cold one!”

“Hey, is that God's Boy down there?"

The barkeep nodded, so the redneck told him to give Jesus a cold one, too.

As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!"

The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, so he got up and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus touched the Italian and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!"

The Italian felt his back straighten, so he raised his hands above his head and did a flip out the door.

Jesus walked toward the redneck, but the redneck jumped back and exclaimed, "Don't touch me! I'm drawing disability!"


I hope this dosent offend anyone,Im a redneck and I found it extremely funny.

I want to say thank you to all who sent prayers for me. A special thanks to sweetladybug for caring ,and mariebasset for the special prayer she sent me. I have accepted this change in my life and with Gods help I will conquer it!But let me tell you its hard to stay away from sweet stuff because I have so many sweet friends.Thank you all for the prayers and good wishes.

I have been reading some of the posts in the thread about someone thinking something was bs.It turned into a real bashing of member against member.My friends that is not what our community here is all about.If someone wishes to turn off chat lets respect that what ever the reason. Chat doesn't work half the time anyway.
If someone feels like chattering a lot its polite to answer but
you don't have to chatter as much as they do,if you don't want to .
Sometimes a person is shown in chat and they are away from their computer.These people are not being rude,they are attending to everyday life and its easier to leave the game up than to shut it down every time. For instance.people who have small children,and need to tend them. would you blast a person just for stopping to feed her baby,just because she didn't answer you in chat?People do have real lives out there.I love the friends I have made here and when they don't talk to me ,I assume that they are busy with other stuff.There are some people on here who get offended if you are in the chat and don't talk.My goodness haven't you ever had a day where it is better not to talk? I have! I'm human. I have my good days and I have my bad days. There are times when I feel like chatting and there are times when all I want is a quiet game. But I would never be so rude as to ignore someone who only wants to say hello and see how you are. If I am in chat but not talking ,more than likely I stepped into the kitchen for a glass of tea,or a bite to eat.why shut down my whole game for that few minutes ?Also there are telephone calls,doorbell ringers,someone dropping by,etc.etc.
In conclusion ,let me say that Im here to make friends not enemies.And I have done that .Thats what Grab is all about.