Was high school a positive or negative experience for you?

Hmmm, the BID from earlier ... high school.  My mother always told me, because my grades were horrible, that high school isn't a social gathering.  It was a place to learn, a place to grow.  High school was the most miserable experience, for me.  I was teased, ridiculed and treated like crap by everyone, including my boyfriends.  I walked around with my head down because no one liked me.  My mom STILL avows that it's because I had a HUGE chip on my shoulder, but she doesn't know that people were so cruel to me.  Social experience, I think not.  I had no friends.

What I wouldn't have given in high school, to be as popular as I am now.  :D

I am in a state of shock.  I just got an e-mail from my mother, letting her three kids know that she and my dad will be getting divorce within the next 6 months.  They've been married 33 years, this August, and have made it through some really rough times.

A while ago, my dad was contacted by an old high school sweetheart of his.  They were e-mailing and sending IMs back and forth, for quite a while.  Her husband decided that he didn't want to lose her, so he attempted to stifle the contact.  He then contacted my dad back, saying that he couldn't handle the hurt anymore, and allowed them contact again.  So, my dad is wanting to go back to her, saying that she makes him feel alive.

Originally, she and her husband, along with their 10-year old son, were supposed to relocate to Dallas, but since her husband is having a hard time locating work, that move won't be happening.  So, now it's possible that my Dad will be moving to Wisconsin, where they live.  I'm not sure what my mom is going to do.  She'll get half of my dad's retirement check, every month, as she "earned" it by staying home and taking care of her 3 kids.  She'll also still be the primary beneficiary of his life insurance.  But, she loses the medical benefits from the military, which isn't good for her, since she's diabetic.

My big thing, is this:  Greg and I moved down here, so that Bobby would be close to his Nana and Pop-Pop.  They were there when he was born.  They were there for the first 2 years of his life, almost ... in the same house as us, as we were unable to support ourselves in the new england area.  So, when it came time for us to decide if we were moving back to South Dakota, or coming here to Dallas, I chose Dallas.  I wanted Bobby to grow up very close to his nana and pop-pop, just as I did, especially with the attachment to them.  He will NOT be able to understand why nana and pop-pop don't live here anymore, and I am NOT prepared for his little heart to be broken.

Greg and I had decided 6 months ago, that even if they moved, we will not be leaving Dallas.  I still think this was a good move for us to make.  I have friends here now, and I do not want to uproot my son all over again.  Dallas will be my permanent home, no matter where my parents end up.  It scares me to think of not being close to my parents, but it's time to be completely on my own.  We haven't needed much financial help from them in the last year, and that feels good, but it's always nice to know that they're there in case we do need the help.

So, that's it.  My parents will be splitting up, after 33 years of marriage.  They may be moving out of Texas, but I will stay here.  Bobby may end up broken-hearted, but he'll pull through.

“Change is not made without inconvenience, even from worse to better.” - Richard Hooker

“Don't fear change, embrace it.” - Anthony J. D'Angelo

I saw this on Helly's Blog and thought it looked nice, so I figured I'd give it a try.  The results were surprisingly accurate.

Since I suffer from insomnia most nights out of the week, I have to figure out new ways of getting tired enough to fall asleep.  Most nights, if I'm already in bed and i can't fall asleep, I think of something calming, like sitting on the beach or watching the rain.  If that doesn't work, I get back out of bed, reminding myself that in a half an hour, I need to try again.  I'll do something on my laptop that will get me tired, like doing the Jigsaw puzzle on msnbc, or playing a few games of freecell.  Most nights, something like this works, but there are times when I'm still up until 3 o'clock in the morning, no matter what I do.

I've had people recommend that I take an over-the-counter sleep aid, but I don't like the idea.  I don't want to become dependent on something like that, in order to sleep.  Others have recommended warm tea before bed, but I really can't stand tea.  Warm milk isn't something I would like, either.  So, it's either I give in and try things that I don't like, or I continue losing sleep.  oh well, maybe if I can keep my mind clear as I'm trying to sleep, it'll eventually help.

So, Greg got a new job.  He's a graphic artist for a shop that's falling apart.  The people who were working there before, hadn't gotten anyone's jobs done in a month.  Files were saved in the strangest places on the computer, and with the strangest file names.  So, Greg's been working loads of hours, trying to fix the way the shop runs.  His boss is a "grumpy old man", as Greg puts it.  He hates his job, but won't quit because he's got a family to support.

I feel bad for him.  It can really suck, having to drag yourself out of bed every morning, for a job that you can't stand.  He's a hard worker, and I'm afraid that he's being taken advantage of.  I hope something better comes along, and soon.

They say the best form of flattery is imitation ... well, let's hope that's the case in the following photos! 

Bobby seems to just love my boots!  I have 2 pairs that I just love, and he likes to walk around the house in them.  I think the best pic I took was yesterday ... flattering Mommy and Daddy!

  Daddy's tie and Mommy's shoes!

It's so funny how children can fall asleep in the strangest places and positions.  The strangest position that I've ever seen Bobby fall asleep in, was just last week.  We had just gotten home and he had fallen asleep in the car.  I brought him upstairs and laid him down on the couch, and after about 30 minutes, woke back up claiming that he was hungry.  He asked for peanut butter and jelly, which I promptly made with a glass of milk.  He fell back asleep on the floor, but would up walking himself back to his bedroom.  I found him like this:

He looked so cute, I had to snap a closer pic:

Ahhhhh, nothing calms the soul like seeing your child asleep ...

Saw this on Helly's blog, and thought it might be fun.  I won't be answering about my actual first child, as I don't remember much about the pregnancy and whatnot, so I'll be answering regarding Bobby.

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED? Yes, we had been trying for over a year

2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME? Yes

3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS? I was calm until I scheduled an ultrasound with my doctor's office.  I had had a false positive blood test 2 months prior, and didn't believe the lab would tell me the right news again.  After the 8-week ultrasound, I was excited.

4. WAS ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU? Absolutely not.

5. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 24, but 25 when he was born

6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT? I had a migraine when I'd gone into work. A friend of mine offered me Advil, and within 15 minutes of taking it, I was running for the bathroom to throw up. I knew, at that moment, that I was pregnant.

7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? My mom, then my husband (he was out fishing with my dad, that day, and my mom was the first one I called when I took the home test. after confirming with the home test, I called my dad's cell, and let Greg know)

8. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX? Yes, and we did.

9. DUE DATE? January 14, but I was induced exactly 7 days later.

10. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS? No, but I did have nauseousness

11. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE? ice cream and chinese food (i think) ... my cravings changed from week to week

12. WHO IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? I don't think anything irritated me, except not being allowed to be alone or drive a car for the last trimester.

13. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILDS SEX? Boy

14. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING? I had hoped for a girl, but all I really cared about was that he was healthy

15. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY? 5 or 10 ... I lost weight when the pregnancy began (from drinking water and eating 3 times a day), and then gained a few at the end

16. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER? My mom's friend, Debby, held a shower for me when we moved at the beginning of the final trimester

17. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW? Yes

8. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY? At 32 weeks, I had a grand mal seizure at 4:30 in the morning. I woke up in the hospital at 8:30 in the morning, being told by the doctor that if my blood pressure didn't drop, they would have to deliver by c-section. I spent 3 days in the hospital, had EEGs done and they could find no cause for it. So, I couldn't be alone (just in case it happened again) and wasn't allowed to drive for 6 months.

19. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH? York Hospital in York, Maine

20. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR? On the 21st of January, I was induced at 9:40am. I chose to have them break my water and labor began and progressed for a few hours. At 1:30pm, I opted for a dose of Stadall, to help with the pain, but it was still intense. Around 3:00pm, I ended up with an epidural (I had sworn that I would never get one of those done) and the doctor decided an hour later that labor wasn't moving along like it should, as I had stopped dilating. So, around 4:00pm, I was given Pitocin. Thank God, I couldn't feel the pain!!! Bobby was delivered at 6:02pm, the same day.

21. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL? My parents and Greg

22. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH? Greg (of course) and my parents. My mom and dad knew I wanted pictures taken, since we didn't have a video camera, so they took all the pictures of the delivery. My dad got some really nice pics (even though it's not common to have your dad there, taking them). My mom cut the umbilical cord, since Greg wasn't interested (said it would make him sick, cutting flesh like that).

23. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION? Natural (and only 3 stitches)

24. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN? Yes. I had Stadall after 3 hours of trying without drugs, and when the Stadall didn't work, I ended up with the epidural.

27. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH?? 10 lbs 1/2 oz.

28. DID YOUR CHILD HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS? He wasn't breathing, so they actually had to "bag" him with oxygen for a minute and a half (though it felt MUCH longer than that), but then he was fine.

29. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? Robert Francis (after both my and greg's grandfathers)

30. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN? 3 years 2 months exactly today.

We filed our taxes, and for the first time in years, we were able to file without injured spouse.  I've been so far behind on my child support for Dakotah, that Greg had to file injured spouse every year to ensure that his tax return wasn't used for my debt.  I received a refund check from Child Support Enforcement, last year, for overpayment and figured my debt was paid in full.  When I checked on our tax return, to make sure it was coming in as quickly as TurboTax said it would, there was a little message stating that our return might be a little short.  So, the phone call was made.  I talked for over an hour with Child Support Enforcement, asking why I received a refund check last year if I wasn't paid in full.  They explained that there was an error, and instead of applying the overpaid balance to the state, they sent me a check.  So, I did still owe $303 to the state, and the taxes would be deducted accordingly.  Also, there's a balance due to Phil of $275, for legal fees, but I can take all the time I need to.

My Pop-Pop's suffering ended on January 15th, this year.  My mom was up in Sheboygan, WI to help my Granny Grace get through it.  There was a service there, and my Pop-Pop was cremated, just as my Nana was.  There will be a masonic funeral service on May 5, and my plane ticket is already purchased.  I won't be taking Bobby, as I cannot afford another plane ticket just for him, and a funeral isn't the place for a 3-year-old who doesn't like to sit still.  After the service, my Pop-Pop's ashes will be spread out to sea, per his request.  I'm not sure if I'll be able to attend that, as we don't want a crowd gathered, since it's illegal to do so.  While in New Hampshire, we'll be going to the beach (which I miss) and karaoke.  I'm looking forward to seeing old friends, and catching up with everyone.

Greg's new job is going all right.  He's getting used to working nights, and seems to be enjoying his job.  He recently got a call from another company, regarding employment.  Evidently, when he was unemployed, he had interviewed with Sir Speedy, for a graphic artist position.  The press man that was working there had found a new job with Minuteman Press, and had been so impressed with Greg at Sir Speedy, that he had recommended him to his new boss.  So, Greg went in for a meeting with the new owner of Minuteman.  He will be working part time, 3 hours in the mornings, Monday through Friday.  He is getting paid $20 an hour, and gets a check every day.  So, that's an extra $300 a week.  It'll help, but I'm worried about him getting worn out.  So, time with Greg will be sparse, and sleep is necessary, since I'll have to continue to be up with Bobby, and my naptime in the mornings is gone.

I'm still at home, full time.  However, Greg gave me a business card for his part-time boss's wife's preschool.  It's a private preschool, and tuition there is $10,000 a year.  However, if I want to work part time, when Bobby is potty-trained and ready for preschool, I can work on the days that Bobby goes in and Bobby's tuition will be free.  I can also get full benefits.  Greg said that I should just think about it, and I'm weighing the options.  Part of the reason for me wanting to put him in preschool, just before he turns 4, is so that I can actually get some stuff done around the house.  I can't keep the house very clean because Bobby takes so much attention and so much time.  Not that I'm really complaining, but my apartment is getting pretty messy.

So, things are going well, and looking up.

Was your Valentine's Day everything you hoped it would be?

Not at all.  We weren't able to do anything because Greg works nights and we didn't have any money in the bank account.  We're planning our celebration this weekend.  We'll be going out to dinner, a movie and then going to karaoke with friends.  It sounds like it'll be a fun time.  We've got a babysitter lined up for Saturday night and now, I've just go to get the house cleaned up!  LOL

Hope everyone else had a good Valentine's Day.

The history of Groundhog Day ...

Groundhog Day, February 2nd, is a popular tradition in the United States. It is also a legend that traverses centuries, its origins clouded in the mists of time with ethnic cultures and animals awakening on specific dates. Myths such as this tie our present to the distant past when nature did, indeed, influence our lives. It is the day that the Groundhog comes out of his hole after a long winter sleep to look for his shadow.

If he sees it, he regards it as an omen of six more weeks of bad weather and returns to his hole.

If the day is cloudy and, hence, shadowless, he takes it as a sign of spring and stays above ground.

The groundhog tradition stems from similar beliefs associated with Candlemas Day and the days of early Christians in Europe, and for centuries the custom was to have the clergy bless candles and distribute them to the people. Even then, it marked a milestone in the winter and the weather that day was important.

According to an old English song:
If Candlemas be fair and bright,
Come, Winter, have another flight;
If Candlemas brings clouds and rain,
Go Winter, and come not again.

I guess what I don't understand about this holiday is, if the weather is clear, wouldn't it mean that spring is on its way?  Cloudy weather is usually associated with winter.  Oh well, there are some things that we just aren't supposed to understand about tradition.  So, I hope that the groundhog, today, doesn't see his shadow.  Winter has been interesting here in TX, what with getting snow yesterday.  I'll be glad when the cold weather is done and over with.  Although, to be honest, I'm not exactly looking forward to the excruciatingly hot summer, either.

Happy Groundhog Day to all!!!

Happy birthday Bobby!  The last 3 years have just flown by.  I remember when you were content to be held ...

I remember your cute face, when you were just a month old ...

And, now, look at you!  Three years old, terrorizing my house and loving each and every minute!!!

Happy birthday, baby!!!

So, things have been very interesting as of late.  Bobby is growing by leaps and bounds, and getting into more trouble every day.  This morning, I woke up to find an orange had been opened, along with a canteloupe (how on earth he got the hole into the skin of the canteloupe, I'll never know), his new board games strewn all over the living room and he had just opened a box of cereal and was eating his Rice Chex dry.  What is a mother to do??  He doesn't even come into our room anymore, to wake us up.  He must think that he's dependent enough to do things on his own, but he's just not capable of doing them.  His birthday's coming up.  He'll turn 3, and I feel as though I'm at my wits' end about the things he does.  He's learned how to say, "I can't" from his father, so every time I tell him to do something, he says "I can't".  He's telling people to shut up, and yelling back at them.  I feel as though I have no control left over him, but I continue to try and get him to listen.

Greg's new job is all right.  He says that he enjoys working with the people, but nights are reallly slow.  He'll get used to working nights, but in the meantime, I'm the one up with Bobby every morning.  His arthritis seems to be going better, considering that he's not hobbling around at all hours of the day anymore.  Now, it's just mornings that are difficult on him.  It's nice to have him out of the house.  He was getting in the way, more than he thought.  I had a routine that I followed, and with him at home, it was tough to follow that routine, cuz he did absolutely nothing with housework or Bobby, while he was out of work.  That's 2 weeks of him sitting around, yelling ... ugh.

My Pop-Pop hasn't been doing very well, lately.  He had a quarter-sized tumor on his tongue removed in August, and was put on radiation, recently.  Evidently, the end of last week, he was very weak, to the point that his wife and her daughter had to help him into his chair.  His wife called the oncologist's office and the answering service recommended that she call 911.  The call was made, and she found out that he had had another heart attack.  The doctors weren't holding out much hope for recovery.

My mom flew up to Wisconsin, to help my granny and be there for support, and to say her peace to her dad, letting him know that it would be all right to go.  I got a call two days ago, from my brother, letting me know that my Pop-Pop was put in hospice care.  Hospice care is for those that don't have much of a chance, living out their last few days/weeks/months under constant supervision and care.

When I woke up yesterday morning, I had a voice mail on my cell.  I dialed the voice mail, and listened, in tears, as my dad let me know on the message that my Pop-Pop had passed away at 1 o'clock in the morning.  I deleted the message, and found that I had 2 missed calls.  One from my mom at my granny's house, and one from my dad.  I had planned on calling the hospital today, to say goodbye to him, but didn't get the chance, since he was already gone.

I'm glad that his suffering is over and that he can be with my Nana once again, but it still hurts to lose him.  He was my last surviving grandparent.  My son is named after him (and his other great-grandfather), so I know that he will live on in my son.

Rest in peace, Pop-Pop.  We will miss you ...

As 2006 ended with a flash, and far too quickly for my taste, I sit here and reflect on all the things that have happened, good or bad, this year.

I found a temp-to-hire job at the beginning of February, which ended abruptly toward the end of April.  They had decided to bring in an employee who had worked for the company previously, and let me go.  I got a call after 6pm on a Friday, from the temp agency, telling me that I couldn't get my things from the office, either.

If I hadn't lost that job, I wouldn't have been able to be a stay-at-home Mom for 7 glorious months!  My son is thriving, and he is so cute when he talks.  He turns 3 this month, and talks like he's a year older, at least.  Now, if I could just find the "Off" switch for the violent behavior and destructiveness, I'd be even more happy.

My husband had found a MUCH better job in July and gave his ass-boss his notice, but left the job before that two weeks was up.  His new boss was a dream come true, helping us to get back on our feet, from bills piling up.  The job was going great!!!

I was able to make it to Las Vegas in September, to see my brother have a committment ceremony with his life-partner.  It was a beautiful ceremony, and I couldn't ask for a better brother-in-law.  It was a wonderful visit, seeing some of the sights of Las Vegas, and my son getting to see his uncles.  My brother, Chris, was even able to make it from Chicago, and it's the first time that our entire family had been together since my wedding 4 and a half years ago.

My brother, Chris, left the big city life in New York City, to move to Chicago.  He's doing all right, though things could be a little better for him.  He finally got a twin-sized bed to sleep on, instead of the couch or floor, and his roommates were ecstatic about it!  The simple things in life ...

Halloween was fun for Bobby.  He wanted to dress as a pirate, so we bought the costume and he had a blast trick-or-treating.  It would've been better if he had taken a nap during the day, and hadn't been so tired by the time we were done, but it was cute to see him at every door.

Thanksgiving was just terrific!  We went up to see Greg's sister and her family, in Oklahoma.  We had a good visit, and look forward to being able to see them again soon.

On the 22nd of December, Greg was fired from work.  What a time to lose a job ... so Christmas was interesting, to say the least.  We had already bought all of our gifts, for friends and family, so there was no way to take them back.  We visited with Debby, Bob and Dan, opening gifts at their house on Christmas Day.  Bobby had the motherlode, this year, in gifts.  My best friend, Vada, even sent him 5 gifts from Washington State, even though she's never even met him.  It was wonderful to see the joy on his face when he opened all his gifts.

Greg's been looking for work and has had a couple of interviews already.  He's got a few more scheduled over the next few days, and we're really hoping he can get himself a job again.  We decided that it would still be best for me to be able to stay at home, so I haven't been steadily looking for work.  We're sure that something good will come out of this.  We're hoping he can find a job for a little bit more money, and with benefits, considering his arthritis and medical expenses.  Two of his medications are over $50 a month, and we really need a co-pay on those!!!  LOL

We found out, yesterday, that the reason he got let go, was because his boss is closing his print shop, completely.  The other girl who works there, is not being warned, so she will up a creek without a paddle in a few months.  The only problem had been that we had found an absolutely gorgeous apartment, finally!  It had a garden bathtub in the master bath, a private alarm, sprinkler system and full-size washer/dryer connections.  The rent was significantly higher, so we weren't able to sign the lease, due to no income at the present time.

So, 2006 ended with a BANG, almost literally.  However, things are beginning to look bright already for 2007, or at least, we can hope so!