I have a variety of office toys.  There's a mold-able pig that I can reshape into various poses, a small magnetic stick figure with similar abilities, one of those clackity metal ball things that bounce around in fun patterns, a fun smile-bearing little yellow bendy guy, a funny, odd-shaped very bouncy ball, a sarcastic "magic-8"-style ball, a squeezy orange stress/happy-face ball, and occasionally some weird stretchy Chuzzle-looking rubber balls that my boss bought a few months ago.

It's a large desk.

But I do wish that all the toys on my desk could do a better job keeping my desk clutter-free.  I give them a home, and allow -- nay, encourage! -- my coworkers to amuse themselves when they stop by for a question, impromptu meeting or (never!) quick chat. 

And yet... They give me nothing in return.  In fact, if you can imagine, sometimes my numerous office toys seem to ADD to the clutter here in my cube.

The nerve.

So, MEMO TO MY OFFICE TOYS:

Thanks a lot.  Jerks.

Love,
Lex