I came across an article on the rise of Jewish rappers. The article quotes Jewish rap rhymes like:

My nose is large, and you know I'm in charge.

and

Torah food for my brain let it rain till I drown, Thunder! Let the blessings come down

I've realized two things:

1. I'm Jewish, and
2. I can bust a phat rhyme, yo.

A coworker of mine (foobonic) suggested the name "MC Oy Vey" for my burgeoning rap career.  I'm thinking more along the lines of "DJ Shlomo-tion." 

To show you all that DJ Shlomo-tion is the real deal, I'm gonna freestyle some new Jewish rap lyrics below.  No edits, no time to think.  I'm like Eminem's "Rabbit" in 8 Mile, only with a little more gefilte:

Update: Now you can even hear the MP3 of this tune!

I'm rakin' in cash
Like a Chabad telethon
When I spin beats,
It's like a dreidle: On and on
Keep your 50 Shekel, that Jewish rapper's gone
DJ Shlomo-tion's here, and he's takin' things by storm
I can spell Channukah maybe thirteen different ways
I won't come to work on the high holidays
When the Jews start to rap, there will be no way to stop us
Unless you hold the Grammy's on a Friday night -- that's Shabbos
But if you holla for challah and you like your latkes fresh
And you know that in Hebrew, "to ask" becomes the word "l'vakesh"
If you live for chicken soup with a scoop of matzah balls
Then you better respond when you hear the shofar calls
Cuz it's announcing
The forthcoming trouncing
Of the world of rap by Jewish rappers who be bouncing
Off the walls
Cuz this sure ain't schmalz
I'm the master Jewish rapper with a style that enthralls
So grab all your yarmulkes, and your tallis prayer shawls
DJ Shlomo-tion's here and he's breaking down walls.