DJ Shlomotion presents It's A Bar Mitzvah.

This is taffy70's favorite DJ Shlomotion song, as well as foobonic's, and also DJ Shlomotion's.

How was your weekend? 

I spent time with my lovely wife Lauren, spent some time with my hilarious friend Seth, and, of course, went back into the studio to record my second DJ Shlomotion track: "Not Enough Rhymes (With Hannukah)."

What's interesting is that, thus far, both of my DJ Shlomotion recordings have come out of challenges from my coworker ricemag.  Originally, he said that my first lyrics for "Breakin' Down Walls" didn't seem to scan, so I had to record the tune to prove him wrong.

Then, he accepted that the lyrics did scan, but said that the song was too fast for his liking; he wanted something with more of a slow, Snoop-ish groove.

Hence, "Not Enough Rhymes (With Hannukah)."

At this point, I may well be the only one who cares. But... I've put together a much better mix of "Breakin' Down Walls." In this version, you can actually hear/understand the 2nd and 3rd verses, the bass line changes up a bit, the beats are a little slicker, and the whole thing sounds considerably more polished. Now, Grab staffer ricemag wants to record his own Jewish rap tune so that we can have a Jewish rap battle. To him, I say this: Bring it on. I'll win. Holla!

Grab staffer foobonic sent out my DJ Shlomotion rap recording that I posted yesterday to several of his Jewish friends, and he thinks that I may have started a Jewish rap war.

I'm armed and ready -- because I've now recorded a FULL LENGTH version of the song.  Fasten your seatbelt.

The original, full-length DJ Shlomotion joint: Breakin' Down Walls.

Grab staffer ricemag said that my rap from yesterday didn't cut it -- he couldn't hear the meter that my mad rhymes were supposed to use.

So, I promised him I'd record my hit ditty from yesterday. And I'm a man of my word.

Check out my first DJ Shlomotion Jewish rap hit: Walls.

I came across an article on the rise of Jewish rappers. The article quotes Jewish rap rhymes like:

My nose is large, and you know I'm in charge.

and

Torah food for my brain let it rain till I drown, Thunder! Let the blessings come down

I've realized two things:

1. I'm Jewish, and
2. I can bust a phat rhyme, yo.

A coworker of mine (foobonic) suggested the name "MC Oy Vey" for my burgeoning rap career.  I'm thinking more along the lines of "DJ Shlomo-tion." 

To show you all that DJ Shlomo-tion is the real deal, I'm gonna freestyle some new Jewish rap lyrics below.  No edits, no time to think.  I'm like Eminem's "Rabbit" in 8 Mile, only with a little more gefilte:

Update: Now you can even hear the MP3 of this tune!

I'm rakin' in cash
Like a Chabad telethon
When I spin beats,
It's like a dreidle: On and on
Keep your 50 Shekel, that Jewish rapper's gone
DJ Shlomo-tion's here, and he's takin' things by storm
I can spell Channukah maybe thirteen different ways
I won't come to work on the high holidays
When the Jews start to rap, there will be no way to stop us
Unless you hold the Grammy's on a Friday night -- that's Shabbos
But if you holla for challah and you like your latkes fresh
And you know that in Hebrew, "to ask" becomes the word "l'vakesh"
If you live for chicken soup with a scoop of matzah balls
Then you better respond when you hear the shofar calls
Cuz it's announcing
The forthcoming trouncing
Of the world of rap by Jewish rappers who be bouncing
Off the walls
Cuz this sure ain't schmalz
I'm the master Jewish rapper with a style that enthralls
So grab all your yarmulkes, and your tallis prayer shawls
DJ Shlomo-tion's here and he's breaking down walls.