Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:
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WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
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WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
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WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
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WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to strangle you.
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WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
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WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that your ex is really dying for you to call them at 4:00 in the morning.
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WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause serious rug burns on the forehead and chin area.
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WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really big guy named Bubba.
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WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
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WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause a flux in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to disappear.
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WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may result in pregnancy.
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WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the heck happened to your pants.
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