CHEATING WIVES AND CHEATING HUSBANDS WHY? • lorna

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CHEATING WIVES AND CHEATING HUSBANDS WHY? Dec 06, 2006 \| 4:12AM I pause this morning on the continuation of healthy realationships. A friend of mine ask me this question why do men cheat but it would be fair to address the women too I know you will agree with me. I will need your thoughts on this one. As you always come through for me.So here is my take on the subject. I WILL BE BACK WITH SOME TELL TALE SIGNS. The Top Reasons Men and Women Cheat The top 3 reasons men cheat all relate to sex. However sex is not usually the motivating factor for cheating wives. The top 3 reasons women cheat relate to unmet emotional needs or a desire for attention. Listed below are the most common reasons for extramarital affairs: Why Men Cheat The most frequently cited reasons for infidelity among men include • more sex (the desire for a more active sex life) • sexual variety (a desire for different kinds of sex) • opportunistic sex ( taking advantage of an opportunity to have sex without the fear of getting caught) • to satisfy sexual curiosity (about a specific female) • a feeling of entitlement (the belief that it’s a man’s prerogative to cheat) • the “thrill of the chase” • the desire to feel important or special • sexual addiction Why Women Cheat The reasons most frequently cited for female infidelity include • a desire for emotional closeness and intimacy (someone caring to confide in and bond with on an emotional level) • a desire for attention (wanting be the center of a man’s attention again) • to reaffirm her desirability (To feel validated as a woman) • to re-experience feelings of romance • a desire to feel “special” • boredom • loneliness • sexual excitement Men Cheat for Sexual Reasons, Women Cheat for Emotional Reasons These are not the only reasons men and women cheat. There are other reasons as well. But the bottom line is that men are cheating on their wives primarily for sexual reasons, while women are cheating on their husbands mainly for emotional reasons. Remember when a marriage starts having problems and a counselor is brought into the picture they always ask about the bedroom among other questions.
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coco17

December 06, 2006 @ 4:21AM

That is a post that needed to be heard because it is true.

free2be

December 06, 2006 @ 4:35AM

Great post Lorna, my husband was a cheater but he wanted to keep both of us like I was going to agree on that one. I gave him 8 months and tried to change things and it didn't work so I packed the 4 kids up and moved to Maine. I felt like less of a woman knowing he cheated and the mental abuse he pulled on the whole family was something else. I better stop or I will be writting a blog here, Hugs Cher

denisebecerra69

December 06, 2006 @ 4:38AM

love the post lorna so true and so you know i left my hubby cause he cheated

CryingAngel1959

December 06, 2006 @ 4:40AM

Good post my friend. Have a wonderful day. Hugs,Suzie

jackie2000

December 06, 2006 @ 4:47AM

Lorna this is so true and a beautiful post I love it..... And you already know I Love You Always
Hugs
Jackie

oldhag

December 06, 2006 @ 5:17AM

Well this is very accurate! I've been married to beaters and cheaters all my adult life. So the last time I was singe, I made a promise to myself, No beaters, no cheaters, and I have to be #1 after God!!

LadyPantherr

December 06, 2006 @ 5:30AM

Lorna this was a great post that needed saying.You always come through with the good ones.I was cheated on in the past with my 1st husband and then I found my 2nd and life long husband, Reddwood.We have been together 11 years and no cheatin goin on here (smiles proudly).I love you girl.Have a wonderful day sweety. Love,Renea

ladyinred87vet

December 06, 2006 @ 6:02AM

Great Post :)

Thanks for showing that there are women out there cheating too...it's due to more women in the work force now. (Read this somewhere).

Wishing you a blessed day :)

HUGS

jomarday

December 06, 2006 @ 6:27AM

Too true my friend!! Have a beautiful day!!! Jolene

angelindistress

December 06, 2006 @ 7:15AM

So true on so many levels. Thanks for sharing. Hugs, Angel

Msdruandkids

December 06, 2006 @ 7:20AM

Every word written is so true. It gives you something to think about. I will surely pass it on.

Hugs

amy_walker15

December 06, 2006 @ 7:39AM

Hello my sweet friend! I think this is right on. You have very insightful blogs, and this definately counts as one of them. Excellently written and said! I can't add anything to that...I think you did it all. Big hugs to you, my dear friend!

charlann

December 06, 2006 @ 8:00AM

yes, women cheat, too. the youngest of my older brothers experienced that after he married a girl who was much younger than he. he was serving in the U.S. Navy at the time, and was on a 6 month cruise; they had a baby, too. when he returned from the cruise, he discovered that his wife had been neglecting their baby as well as cheating on him. he divorced tha girl, and got custody of the baby; my family helped him raise the child. he later remarried, but that marriage also failed mainly because the 2d wife was abusing the child.
after the child graduated from our local high school she was married for a while, but she eventually got divorced, left town, and i haven't seen her since that time. her father, my brother, says she's been living in California, but i've totally lost track of her. i say all this to show the effect that cheating spouses can have on even the extended family.

Last edited by charlann on December 6th at 8:06 AM.

yovonna

December 06, 2006 @ 8:10AM

I belive we all have to give account to JESUS for all our sin small or large I keep a close account with HIM every day. I dont want one sin between me and my sweet JESUS we learn this from
Eve she did keep accoout with Adom or God so she sined and did not get a way with it. We all pay for her sin. I dont want to sin. JESUS dont want me to sin so guess who whats us to sin. Please keep away from satans toys he loves to get me in trouble and any one else who listens to him :(. Read the Word of God the Bible daily it will keep you from sin or sin will keep you from reading the Bible. :) yours in JESUS Love yovonna :)

Elder_Fireball

December 06, 2006 @ 8:22AM

Cheatin has been going on since the beginning of time and it will continue until Jesus come back. I dont believe people are getting married for love anymore.Marriage is of conveniece now. We dont take the time to get to know the people anymore. We just have sex and get the name. Some fo financial reasons others because they simply dont
want to be alone.

sweetladybug

December 06, 2006 @ 8:57AM

It's sad, but it has gone on forever, and that doesn't make it right....We have to be responsible for our own actions, between us and God...This is a good post, blessings, hugs;)

TsFanNumber24

December 06, 2006 @ 9:53AM

THANK YOU LORNA, AS ALWAYS I LOVE READING ALL OF YOUR POSTS.. I DO CHERISH YOU DEEPLY MY FRIEND..
I APPRECIATE ALL THAT YOU HAVE DONE.. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING !!
HUGS, ROBIN

Wilfong

December 06, 2006 @ 10:24AM

The list of reasons for infidelity are all valid. I would like to add my own,....

Men will cheat because they are insecure about their own virility and masculinity. (men don't like to admit this) Their conquests are a means of proving themselves to themselves.(and to their buddies)
The man is homosexual or bi-sexual and having affairs with other men.

Women will cheat for sexual reasons , too. Their mates are either indifferent or careless for any of several reasons---including infidelity. Or their mates have become impotent for either physical or emotional reasons.
The woman is homosexual or bi-sexual and having affairs with other women .

wildcat_2005

December 06, 2006 @ 10:56AM

Hi Lorna !
Wow ! There's NOT much too add to this one !
Awesome Post Sister ! Amen..Thanx for sharing !
I do have One other Reason that Men may cheat !
It's the Middle Age Crisis ! I Know from Experince!
That was one reason my last husband Cheated on me with a married woman ! And Left me Heart Brokened !
I had 2 move here to N.C. to live with my sister.
I was from VA. It's worse when you have children .
But my whole Life was turned upside down! I had to give up my home, my local church, friends, etc...
I Prayed & Prayed for him to stay, but that was not GOD'S Will ! HE gave me a new husband, we'll be married 10 years this Feb.15th...
Have a great day! GOD BLESS YOU ! LOVE YOU BUNCHES!
Lots Of Hugs,xxxx Elizabeth :)

Lucky7sis57

December 06, 2006 @ 11:05AM

You hit the nail on the head. This was a post that needed to be put out there. All marriages go through there problems. But if they can remember to always keep the line of communication open, it will help dramatically. If there is something needed or lacking in the bedroom, you need to be able to discuss it, openly and honestly. Bless you Lorna. Merry Christmas my friend. Hug's, Lynda

Last edited by Lucky7sis57 on December 6th at 11:16 AM.

snakelady

December 06, 2006 @ 12:40PM

i would say Boredom is no 1 on my list anyway

teafortwo

December 06, 2006 @ 1:09PM

One that people often don't dicuss is that couples get too busy for each other. Both work. Both tired. Both worrying about bills. Both stressed out. With all this going on, how can they be attracted to each other. So they start looking other places. My husband and I after 43 years, still try not to be too busy that we don't have time for each other. We still go out on a date. Married couples have to realize that we have to work on our marriages. What am I doing wrong. What is he doing wrong. We have to communicate with each other. hugs jeannie :)

Last edited by teafortwo on December 6th at 1:14 PM.

sexime

December 06, 2006 @ 1:10PM

HEY LORNA;
GREAT POST, NOT A WHOLE LOT TO ADD,
WHAT YOU'VE SAID AND THE COMMENTS ABOVE PRETTY MUCH SUM IT UP........
I WOULD NEVER CHEAT(I'D END THE MARRAGE FIRST).
I THINK "VOW'S" ARE SACRED
IF MY HUBBY CHEATS "HE'S DONE"
THAT'S JUST MY OPINION,
I KNOW ALOT OF PEOPLE GO TO COUNCILING OR FORGIVE BUT I COULD NEVER EXCEPT THE "ULTIMATE BETRAYAL".
HAVE A BLESSED EVENING
HUGZZZ

harleylady22

December 06, 2006 @ 2:21PM

THAT IS AN AWESOME POST, AND TELLING IT LIKE IT IS....
REASON A WOMAN WILL CHEAT--- HUBBY WORKS LONG HOURS, DON'T HELP AROUND THE HOUSE OR KIDS. ALWAYS MESSING AROUND WITH HIS FRIENDS, OR TOYS... JUST TO NAME A FEW...
MEN LOVE THE CHALLENGE TO SEE IF THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH IT. OR THEY ARE BORED IN THE BEDROOM WITH THEIR WIFE AFTER YEARS OF MARRIAGE..

IF I think of anymore I will write them down

KrePitts

December 06, 2006 @ 2:27PM

lorna, I do agree that you said it all. well actually you hit the nail right on the head. i believe that if you marry a person you should take that serious, honor those vows, cherish and respect your spouse always. if for some reason you no longer want to do this anymore than be man or woman enough to just leave the person alone. me and my spouse have vowed to never let anyone come betweeen what God has joined together. we will never intentionally cause harm to each other. we communicate with eachother through out the day as well as before we go to bed each night and we pray together,cause we know a couple that prays together stays together.

Thanks Alot,
Kre Pitts

oilpainter7

December 06, 2006 @ 6:21PM

Great topic, Lorna! My 1st hubby was a cheater for the thrill of the chase and his own ego. Regardless of their reasons it's devastating when you find out and most of the time all the "I'm sorry"'s etc doesn't fix what they have broken-the trust. Without trust there is no room left for love.

mrsmsparks

December 08, 2006 @ 8:27PM

Great post, hope I never have to deal with that!

horsegal18

December 08, 2006 @ 8:42PM

I will remeber this for future reference, mostly because there will be no cheating in my life now.;)

boowho

December 09, 2006 @ 5:46PM

This is true on both counts,sometimes I get depressed and feel so unimportant but I try to say hey remember me we need to talk. Well as you know my frist husband passed awayat the age 39 we was married 16 years now my husband now December 13 is our 3 years of marriage I think we do pretty good ,but thank God for love and no strays .But if it is real love will either stray sex or not.

gunslingergal

December 09, 2006 @ 8:24PM

This was a very good post.
i had thought those were the main reasons that so many cheat on each other.
I was maried at 19 and my ex cheatede on me and hit me.while i was growing up my dad cheated on mom all the time and beat on her as well as on me.
i have never seen a ood marrage were someone did not cheat on the other and i have to say it scares me to ever get involved with a man agian,i dont want to be hurt that way ever agian.So i think i will probly be single the rest of my life and iam 25 now so that may be a long time.
hugs
cyn

amy_walker15

December 09, 2006 @ 9:31PM

casey42

December 07, 2007 @ 9:21PM

Lorna, your list is very accurate.
I have experienced my husband cheating and it destroyed 12 years of what we had. I don't trust him or love him the way I once loved him. The bond has been broken and I can't seem to forgive and forget. Therefore, after a year a part and just 4 months back together, it's time to say goodbye.

Casey

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lorna_922

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I am thankful to God for keeping me. I am not about myself but about touching the lives of people. So many are hurting.I can do all things through Christ. I do realize that when I pray or interceed for others thats how I do get my breakthrough. I am now learning to trust God even the more because the truth as made me free.I love all my grab friends thank you so much for being there for me. My love for you all is unconditional be blessed as you continue to blog and do challenges.

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