My father passed away in sept of 2007. I wasnt over that grieving when I got a call my oldest son was killed February 24th, 2008 in an auto accident. This is the hardest thing a parent can go through, especially if he is your oldest.He was born May 6, 1974...he was 33.  My son and I werent close as he had been upset with me since 2001. We hadnt spoken much on the phone, but at least we did speak. My younger children (all grown) son, 27, twin daughters 22, my daughter-in-law & my 12 yr old granddaughter are all upset with me because of the way I broke down at the funeral home. I couldnt help it. He is my oldest & I was touching him, rubbing his arm, kissing him. When it came time for the services, my children & daughter_in-law asked me to leave the room where my son was so they could have a min. alone with him..I was against the wall, not bothering anyone, I told them I wasnt gonna leave til they closed the casket. So they got the funeral director to come & ask me to move, again I refused. So they got my ex-husband to try, again I refused. At that point they told me they were gonna call the "LAW" . I said go for it. You dont need me to move so you can have the service. All this time crying my heart out. Finally my niece Teresa, came up to me. (SHE IS MY ANGEL AMONG US) She talked me into going up to the casket for 1 last time to say we would meet again. Then her & I went outside to the car. My ex, Teresa, & I were sitting in the car, they came out & told me I couldnt go to the cemetery, then the State police showed up!!!

She asked me my name, then asked if all was ok, my ex said yes, then she asked me if she had to go to cemetery I said no. I wasnt allowed to go inside any way. She left, we went to cemetery, we sat in car & watched them carry my son in & out of car. then we came home. It was the worst day of my life.

ANY SUGGESTIONS???