after the prinors are put in there cell at 8.30 a.m.  at 9.01 a.m. a nurse and a docter  go in to each cell to give them all a check up .after the docter gives them the check-up the nurse draws blood from them to be tested . on the way out of the cell the docter writes down the results of the exam and clips it to the door .once outside the cell  a fbi agent closes the cell door . the fbi agent ask the doctor about the results of his check -up on the inmates ?the doctor turn to the fbi agent and says it is to soon to tell i am going to have to wait and see what the test say to make sure that they are healthy .oh says the fbi agent .will you please tell me what the results of there tests are ? yes i wll .at noon the dotor bring in a portale x-ray machine to take some x-ray of the inmate . the agent ask .i am take some x-rays .why this is a other test to make sure they are all right . by 1.30 p.m. the doctor has all of the results of the inmates . i have the results of the test . good lets see them . well the x-ray show me that everything is ok .the blood test tell that everything is ok also . well are they healthy ? yes they are but .but what ? i still think that they should remain  as be classed as being in the hositpal . but they are also prisoins ? i known we will list them as inmates in the hositpal alright ?sure that way they will be inmates plus they will be painets in the hositpal  .2 weeks later  lisa come to and see that see is in a hosital gown and in a jail cell and is wearing ankle bracelet .lisa turns to mike and ask what is going on ? well lisa we broke the law . what kind of law mike ? a fedaral law . having more then five kids after been told not to have any more .mike as long as we are talking about kids how mant do we have ? lisa are you sure you want to known ? alright lisa here we go we had a total of 96 kids and they are very  good health . do you recall are wedding lisa ? no mike i do not . WAIT right there WHAT did you say ? calm down lisa .we got married in vegas when we were taken trip we own a 100 foot rv .do you recall us going to you mothers house so she could she her grandkids ? no i do not .mike what kind of wedding did we have ? we a private weddinng and simple .did we tell my mom or anybody eles ? no we did not . we did not tell your mom until we were married and had are kids .if we have 96 kids how did they go to school ? we got a larage ranch with a huge barn on it . we got some suppiles and fixed up the barn real good .who teachs them mike ? there teachers come to are ranch and teach them .they take the same subject that they teach in school. will we ever leave this place mike ? no we will not lisa . why ? well at first this was a safe house for us . what changed ? you did you had some more kids in prison which ment you broke a fedarl law in a fedral prison .mike how long have i been a sleep ? well your medical records show that you fell in to a coma after you had your last baby . when did i wake up ? you just woke up. how long was i  in a coma ?your records show that you were in the coma for a year , a YEAR are you sure about that ? well there is one way to find out if this is right .how mike ? lets ask the docter . hey docter could you come here i need to ask you something .alright i be right. what do you need to know mike ? well lisa want to known how long she was in a coma . lets see mmmm yes here it is your records show that you were in a coma for 2 months  lisa . wow thats a long time  .i thought you were going to tell lisa about this .i did but she did not belive me so we deside to ask you . oh so what you are saying is you wantedto make sure about it .yep  thanks for your help doc .anytime that is what we are here for is to help people

after mike lisa and family are put in jail and there mug shots are take and fingers prints are taken they are all  taken to the hositpal ward to be examed by the doctors and nures . once in the hostipal ward they are told to remove there orange jump suits and put on a hositpal gown . all 96 of the kids change in to there hoditpal gowns. after they change in to there gown a nurse rolls a wheel chair over to them .when the nures bring the wheel chair over she put the kids in the chair and straped the down .after they are strapped dorw and examed they are then taken to a hositpal bed . once the get to the bed the nurse removes the strpps and puts them to bed .once in  bed sshe raise both side of the bed .at the same time a roof is lowered over the bed . the kids start to ask what is the meanig of this ? doctores orders . how long ? depends .what do you  mean it depends ?well it all depens on how long it will take to get everything ready for you all .oh is that all .can we at least watch some tv ? no you can not . why not ?because prinnors are not allowed to .if you want to do some read a book . i still do not understand why we cant watch tv it is not fair . i know i bet mom and have a tv . ...... 45  minutes later mike and lisa are wheeled in to the hositpal ward and put to bed like the others . well i see mother and father how to go through the samething . yep and i am glad that they had to . WHAT whey do you say that ? because this tell me that mother and father are going to do everything  that we do .yep that means that they will have to eat the same food we do and they have to do thre other bussuniess like we do . so in other words mother and father are prinners just like us .yep i wonder how long we will have to stay in this prison ? well rumor has it that this is are home for good .what are you saying ?i am saying that we bought this prison and made it are home . all man i was hope this was a safe house .that was the plan at first . what changed ? well rumer has it was because are family is so big . oh in that case i do not mind being here .WHAT you don't mine being here .are freedom is gone we are only allowed to bee out of are cell for so long then the rest of the time we have to stay in are cell .are you still going to tell me you like it here ? you are right are feedom almost gone but at least we all have are own cell to sleep .too weeks later everyone is taken to there cells. everone is taken back to there cell dressed in a orange hositpal gown .they are wheel in to there cell in the hostpal beds .once everyone is in there cells the doors or closed and locked  after the cell door is locked the docter hangs a clip board outside to check his/her medical records .

dashing through the sand with something strappto my back i have a nasty plan for christmas in iraq. i got through check point a but not checkpoint b that's when i got shoot in the butt by the u.s. military.....

( that's not funny )

ooooh jingle bombs,jingle bombs wine went off you see, were is all of the people that bin laden promised me .oooh jingle bombs,jingle bombs don't laugh at me because i am dead,the only thing i have left is the towel up on my head. i use to be a man ,but  everytime i cough thanks to uncle sam,my stuff keeps falling off .my bombing days are done, i need to find some work perhaps it would be safer as conveinient store night clerk .ooooh jingle bombs,jingle bombs i think i got tricked ,don't laugh at me because i gone or i will hurt you .

i hurt you !

this is the edited version of it .

i changed some words to make it sound a little better so that i could post it here . for the unedited version go to youtube and type in jingle bombs .when you do that it will bring up the song .this is a jeff dunham christmas song

lisa mom ask if she can go inside and play with her grannd kids ? yess mom you may we thought you would like to see your grand kids .oh yes lisa  but why did you wait so long ?i did not want to take them out of school .so we decide to wait .are they smart ? yes mom thet are very smart .i talk with one there teachers and she said  are kids are he smartes kids she has ever teached in all of her years as a teacher. if you have 96 kids were do they go to school at ?on are ranch .we have a huge bare which we turned in to a school . ther teachers come to are ranch and teach them .they have the same subjects just as if they were in any other school  around . lisa were do you live at ? can't tell you that TOP SEARCT .i can't even tell my mom or anybody that ask .this is going to be the last time tou will see your grand kids mom .after we leave here we will go some that is very private . we are going to fish up are trip then go to some place unkwon. we do not known are selfs yet . we will not known until it is time to leave .mom i love you very much i wish we could stay in touch ,me to lisa . alright its time to go evry one inside  the RV .once inside the RV mike and lisa are told were they are going to .we are taking you all to  a prison to live . it is the safest place to be because it is not used to house prisons any more . it has lot of room for every one .it has long tables for every one to sit .ther is also a place for your kids to read books  . lisa turns to mike and says what a place to go on are honnymoon mike. i thought so  that  is why i picked it . lisa turns and yells at mike was this some kind of joke ?no lisa it was night this is the perfect place to raise a family because it is private and has lots of room  .well you do have a point there mike .mike why are all of the beds in the cell made up ? because lisa that is there bedrooms .when they go to bed at night the cells are closed .then in the moring they are opened .what do they do if they have to go to the bathroom ? you figure it lisa . ever one will be wearing the orange jump suits that are laid out for them .as soon as you enter you will have your picture taken and your prinats .then after that you are to go and take a shower .after you take your shower you are too walk to your in your towel and put on your orange jump suit .by this time it time for you all to go to bed once you enter your cell for bed time the cell door close and can not be reopend until the next day .lisa turns to mike and says what a day i thought it would never come to a end .whys that lisa ? i think that i am about to give birth again mike. lisa how can that be ?i do not known mike we have taken every step  to were i can not have any more kids. we better get a couple of docter and some nures out here at  once . yes i will get right on it. ten minutes later the docter and nures are at the prison were lisa is at .well whats wrong with lisa now ?she thanks she about to give birth again doc. that can't be we have taven evry thing to keep her from having any more kids what went wrong i wonder ? that is why you are here is to tell me why this hanpped to her this time. well it look like from the test we have done that the inside of her body is not like other women .what do you mean doc ? this x-ray is of a women whos inside are normal . and this is lisa's x-ray . with lisa's body she for some reason can give birth a lot of babies  which is strange because any other women would not beable to do this sort of thing.is there any way we can stop her from having any more kids ?  yes you can have her tubes tied .we done that and it did not work . well then we are going to let it stop on it's own mike. oh my god lisa is not going to like to hear this kind of news. hey lisa .yeah mike did you find out whats wrong with me yet ? yes lisa you are about to give birth again .what that can't be we took precautions to stop this mike .is there anything we can do to stop this ? no lisa there is not the only thing we can do is wait and see what hanppens next.  we ran some test on you we took a x-ray and checked them side by side to side body elese .it looks like your body is unsaul  we think that is why you are giving birth so much . at last lisa has the baby on april fools day.after lisa has the last baby the doctors check to see if everything is ok with lisa.after the docter loks over lisa he is happy to report that it looks like lisa will not give birth again   mike turns to lisa boy we sure do have a lot to be thankful for with such a huge family with some very healthy kids that are all so very smart

the end

lisa mom ask if she can go inside and play with her grannd kids ? yess mom you may we thought you would like to see your grand kids .oh yes lisa  but why did you wait so long ?i did not want to take them out of school .so we decide to wait .are they smart ? yes mom thet are very smart .i talk with one there teachers and she said  are kids are he smartes kids she has ever teached in all of her years as a teacher. if you have 96 kids were do they go to school at ?on are ranch .we have a huge bare which we turned in to a school . ther teachers come to are ranch and teach them .they have the same subjects just as if they were in any other school  around . lisa were do you live at ? can't tell you that TOP SEARCT .i can't even tell my mom or anybody that ask .this is going to be the last time tou will see your grand kids mom .after we leave here we will go some that is very private . we are going to fish up are trip then go to some place unkwon. we do not known are selfs yet . we will not known until it is time to leave .mom i love you very much i wish we could stay in touch ,me to lisa . alright its time to go evry one inside  the RV .once inside the RV mike and lisa are told were they are going to .we are taking you all to  a prison to live . it is the safest place to be because it is not used to house prisons any more . it has lot of room for every one .it has long tables for every one to sit .ther is also a place for your kids to read books  . lisa turns to mike and says what a place to go on are honnymoon mike. i thought so  that  is why i picked it . lisa turns and yells at mike was this some kind of joke ?no lisa it was night this is the perfect place to raise a family because it is private and has lots of room  .well you do have a point there mike .mike why are all of the beds in the cell made up ? because lisa that is there bedrooms .when they go to bed at night the cells are closed .then in the moring they are opened .what do they do if they have to go to the bathroom ? you figure it lisa . ever one will be wearing the orange jump suits that are laid out for them .as soon as you enter you will have your picture taken and your prinats .then after that you are to go and take a shower .after you take your shower you are too walk to your in your towel and put on your orange jump suit .by this time it time for you all to go to bed once you enter your cell for bed time the cell door close and can not be reopend until the next day .lisa turns to mike and says what a day i thought it would never come to a end .whys that lisa ? i think that i am about to give birth again mike. lisa how can that be ?i do not known mike we have taken every step  to were i can not have any more kids. we better get a couple of docter and some nures out here at  once . yes i will get right on it. ten minutes later the docter and nures are at the prison were lisa is at .well whats wrong with lisa now ?she thanks she about to give birth again doc. that can't be we have taven evry thing to keep her from having any more kids what went wrong i wonder ? that is why you are here is to tell me why this hanpped to her this time. well it look like from the test we have done that the inside of her body is not like other women .what do you mean doc ? this x-ray is of a women whos inside are normal . and this is lisa's x-ray . with lisa's body she for some reason can give birth a lot of babies  which is strange because any other women would not beable to do this sort of thing.is there any way we can stop her from having any more kids ?  yes you can have her tubes tied .we done that and it did not work . well then we are going to let it stop on it's own mike. oh my god lisa is not going to like to hear this kind of news. hey lisa .yeah mike did you find out whats wrong with me yet ? yes lisa you are about to give birth again .what that can't be we took precautions to stop this mike .is there anything we can do to stop this ? no lisa there is not the only thing we can do is wait and see what hanppens next.  we ran some test on you we took a x-ray and checked them side by side to side body elese .it looks like your body is unsaul  we think that is why you are giving birth so much . at last lisa has the baby on april fools day.after lisa has the last baby the doctors check to see if everything is ok with lisa.after the docter loks over lisa he is happy to report that it looks like lisa will not give birth again   mike turns to lisa boy we sure do have a lot to be thankful for with such a huge family with some very healthy kids that are all so very smart

the end

wow lisa that sure is a big RV you have there . yes it is mom . lisa who is your friend sitting beside you ?  mother i have something  to tell you . what is it lisa ?what ever it is can't be that bad can it ? mom you know you always said that you  wished that i would get married ? yeah but i was only joking lisa . you ask who my friend is that is sitting beside me ? yes i do lisa . who is he ? this very handsom gentelmen  is my husbund mother . you husband you are joking right ? no i am not . i got married on my trip .why did not here about this ? because it  was a private wedding .were did you get married at ? i got married in vegas mom .well then i hate to tell you this but you are not married . yes i am i have proof . no you are not .what makes you think that we are not married ? well for one thing she is not old of enough and has to have a guarden to give her away. not in vegas you don't. the only way we are not married is if she was high on drugs was not of sound mind when she ask me or if she was drunk . well was she mike ?no she was not she was of sound mind when she ask me to married. did you do test to see if she was on any drugs ?yes we did and the test shows us that she was not high on drugs . well do you have any kids ? yes we do mom .were are they ? in the rv mom .can i see them ?off course you can that is one reason we came to vist you . how many of these kids are yours lisa ? all of them mom. my god there has to be at least a 100 of them lisa . try 96 kids . hey mom ?what lisa ?do we have any medical history were are family can give bith to a lot of kids ?no we do not lisa .you mean i am the only person in are family that has this many kids ?yes lise you .were you in much pain while giving birth ? a little bit  when was that lisa ? when i first found out i was about to give birth for the first time. what about the second time or any time after that ? no i had no more pain .as a matter of fact it felt good . in fact on time one the nurse was check to see when the next baby was about to come i passed some gas while she was down there .the gas was so bad she passed out .are you kidding me ?no i am not .what kind of gas was it ?i was let off some of the gas in side before the next baby came .is the nurse alright ?yes she is mom .she told me that this is not the first time this has taking place.the nurse said it is common for the women to pass gas before giving birth .

after mike and lisa's kids finsh school lisa turns to mike and says .hey mike what lisa ? i am ready to go and vist my mom. are you sure about this ? yes mike i am  .why did we wait so long to go and vist your mother ? well we had to wait are kids were in school and i did not want to take them out of school just to go and see ther grandma . oh you wanted to wait so they would not miss any school right ?yep that right . have you talked to your mom at all ? yes once she called me to talk .why ? she said that she was starting worry about me . how many years has it been since you have seen or talked to your mom well it was almost five years that i talked to her since yesterday. why is that lisa ? we got into a big fight one day and we said something we should have not said .when that hanppend we decide not to talk or see each other .that was kind of silly .yeah you are rihjt about mike .well then i say we get ready and take a trip to your moms and vist .she has no idea that we are married does she ? nope not yet .what about your mom mike ? no i have not told her yet . well it looks like we have a lot oof stops to make mike .it sure does lisa we better get going before it get real dark .alright everyone get in to the RV ,why dad ? because we are going on a trip to see some family .who is it mom ? we are going to see your grandma .oh wow i get to see my grandma wow cool .there is something iwant you to do for me ?what mom ? do not tell your grandma that i am married . why mom ? because i am going to tell her . as a matter of fact i want you all to stay in the RV ehile i tell grandma that i am married . is dad going with you mom ? yes he is .if he does not she would not belive that i was married . ding dong ding dong the door bell rings then a voice yells just a minute i am still in my pj's . thats ok mom it does not bother me .all of a sudden the door flys open and lisa's mom hugs her .oh lisa i am so glad to see you . mom can i come inside ? oh of course lisa were are my matters  lisa how come you have not talk to me for some time ? well mother i have been on a very long road trip .i last decide to come and vist you ,i could not stand not talking to you  i missed you very much . i just came to my sense that i should come home and vist you . i am glad you came to vist me .

the following day mike and lisa kids get ready for school that day .mike and lisa take ther kids to the barn for school. ten minutes later the teacher arrive at mike and lisa's lranch to theach there kids .one of the teachers ask were the kids are .mike points to the green and white barn on the ranch and tell them thats is were you will teach are kids it is the only place big enough on here so far  . ok then we are off to teach you kids .at 3.p.m. school has let out .one of the teacher ask mike to stay ther because she wants to talk to him .mike begins to wonder if any of ther was bad . the teacher walk over and says to mike. sir you have some of the smarest kids that i have ever teached in all of my years of teacing students of any grade. what are you saying ? i am saying that you have some very smarts kids they will go far in life because they are so smart . thank you for telling me that it will make my wife very happy to hear that we have some realy smart kids in are family. did you teach them anything before this  ? why yes i did when we stoped so place i would get something to read and i would read to them .i also bought them books so they could read on ther own . oh i suppose that why they read so well . did you teach them any math of any sort ? yes i did i thought them a little of everything .we decide to find some place live and give are kids some more stuff to learn i could only teach them so much .we decide that they should goo to school . you are right about that .some parents like to try and home school there kids because they think they no more then a teacher. well not in your case you were smart to send your kids to school after you home school them. of course it would be kind of hard to send your kid to school if you are traveing from place to place all the time .this is the best time to home teach your child so they do not fall behind in school .if they did fall benide in school they would end up having to take there ged in the end .now days if you do not finsh high school you can not get a job.

the next day when mike and lisa get up they go in to the living room and sit down and figure out what to do next . mike turns to mike and ask lisa if she would like to go vist her mom ? no mike not yet  .mike ask why ?because i still feel kind of week plus i want to spend time with are family before i go vist my mom anyway . i understand lisa let me know we you would like to go and vist her . well that may be a while mike.why lisa ? well i have been on the internet looking for a place to live or at least a lot to park are 100 foot rv on so we can live in it .well did you find anything yet ? maybe . were at ? well i found 2 in st.charles.how big are they  not very big  .then we can't you it .well then what do you want  ? well we need a ranch to park this on and a large yard to play in for the kids and a place for a garden  .well then i just found the perfect place for us . were at then ? when i was looking on the net i found a ranch lot here in vegas  .here in vegas that great lisa lets by it . ok mike  i talked to the seller and they said we can look at later on . what about schools ? i talk to the school already and they said they could not teach are kids because it would be hard to do because we have so many kids . how can we teach them lisa ?hold on mike the are going to school but there teacher will be coming out here to teach them . oh that will work . but first we need to fix up that huge barn and turn it in to a larage school . alrigh let get started on it . mike and lisa go in to town and get the suppiles they need to work on the barn . hey lisa what should we paint the barn . lets paint it green and white with a eagle on the roof . alright that sounds good to me . mike and lisa get the barn done too months before school starts . mike says to lisa this went faster then i thought it would . i know mike i thought would not get it finshed in time  for them to go to school .mike lets put some larage in the barn to get rid of any strong smell in there like paint fumes .

yes there is one way .what is it mike ? well there is a law here in vegas that says that if you were high on drugs or drunk when you ask your parther to get married then your married is no good .i must have been druck or high on drugs when this happned to so i can't be married to you can because do not recall anything about. i am afraid you are wrong there.what do you mean by that ?you were of sound mind when you ask me to get married . were did we get married at mike ? we got married here in vegas . who married us johnny cash ? no lisa we good married in a wedding chappel by a female preist . why i have not heard of to many female preist .neither have i until lasr night when i talked to the one that married us. she said that there is more female be coming preist every year  .wow  i had no idea . mike do we have any kids i can not recall if we do ? yes lis we do .how many do we have mike what 3 or 4 kids ? nope we have a total of 36 kids so far and you are about to give birth to 60 more kids lisa.WHAT if i have that many more i will have giving birth to almost  100 kids . mike turns to lisa and he ask her .lisa is there something in your family history were you can give birth a lot ? not that i can recall mike . i need to talk to my mom about this . do you want to go and vist her lisa? yes i do but not until i give birth to the kids mike ok .alright we can do that lisa . 5 weeks later  lisa has to of her 60 babies . the first 2 were born on new years day . then on thanksgiving lisa has 5 of her babies .mike turns to lisa and says we have a lot to be tamkful for today. then on dec.24 lisa has 10 of her babies .then on dec 25 christmas day lisa has 2 babies. lisaa still has 38 babies to give birth to .mike turn to lisa and ask if she is ok ?lisa says i feel fine mike thanks for asking .are you in any pain when you give birth ? no i am not for some reason . on july 4 lisa has the rest of her babies .lisa turns to mike  and say come here mike .mike stands there why lisa want him to come over there . lisa again ask mike to come over here .mike says ok here i come .mike ask lisa what she wants ?mike i want you to get undress and put some pj's on and get into bed with me .OH LISA THANK YOU VERY MUCH I THOUGHT YOU WOULD NEVER ASK . i should not to ask you to get in to bed with me since we are married after all we are husband and wife after all . lisa can i kiss you ?sure thing mike .can i freanch kiss you ?oh yes mike i would love that very much . mike turns toward lisa so they can freanch kiss .mike and lisa do this for  at least 6 hours before they both decide to go to sleep .