3/2/07

not many ppl read my blog. maybe cuz most of them i set it on private. maybe they're too lazy to comment. or maybe they don't look at it at all. so maybe this one i won't put it on private. my life is really horrible sometimes. most of the time i even think of suicide. but thanks to my religion im not dare to do it. my life when i was younger was good i think. im not so talkative. but when im with my family im out of it lol. ok so one day i went out of my country. i didn't even know how to speak English back then. and i was probably about 11. i start learning in a school. i don't even know what 'so' means..and a lot of other things. so u could probably guess that i don't have many friends. maybe none. just some that talk to me sometimes. just hi, how r u and stuff. i think about when i was 12 i started watching more tv cuz it might help me understand english more. and ya it helps. and then i started on a website called Grab.com. it was fun hanging around there. i usually just play games there when im bored. but for a while games r getting boring. so i started chatting w/ ppl on there. it was pretty fun i guess. i learned a lot about how to talk like most ppl do. so im getting better and better with my knowledge of the language. but still i don't talk much. i have accents. they're better. but i don't have enough courage to talk cuz im scared that it might somehow came out wrong. i have one real friend. but when she's not around it just seems like im alone. and it feels really weird to be alone. it feels better if a bunch of ppl look at you when there;s someone around. not just you alone. i've cried a lot. because im always shy. but i've never cried at school or in front of my family. most of the time if i have to cry i went and take a long shower..cuz i can cry in there till i can't breathe without anyone even knowing it. and i don't live with my mom and dad. but they came to visit me and i came to visit them. there's no problem between me and my family. and my brother live with my mom and dad. he doesn't do many stuff with mom and dad. it [censored]es me off sometimes cuz i wasn't there so that atleast they're not lonely.. i don't know if i'll continue this right now cuz im crying....ok.. and sometimes i don't like to talk to mom and dad on the phone. i act like what i don't wanna act like when i was little. im not so nice. i knew it but i just can't change me right now. i was on myspace like when i was 12 almost 13. it's kinda addicting cuz i don't have to face ppl like in real life. but i wanna quit cuz it's too addicting lol. well im not gonna quit now but im not gonna be on as much. i really hope i can be more mature. maybe i can choose things that's better for me. not the things i like right now, but the right thing... i still don't have many friends. i have about 5 or 6 that are really nice to me. it's great. it's not a lot though. cuz in a lot of classes i don't have them in the same classes with me. i try not to think about it. im usually very nice to ppl. but most ppl don't know i am or they don't even think i am. because they don't know me. and i keep things to myself. i don't talk much to ppl im not close to. i don't talk unless someone talk to me first. usually i talk to ppl that don't have friends. i can't stand seeing someone that doesn't have friends. cuz i don't either. i once don't have any. really when i was 11 i have none. i don't want anyone to feel lonely like that. it's too awful. no one should have to go through that pain. so if they don't mind me being their friend then i'll be their friend........ let's see..what else... oh i really like teachers. they understand me. they are mature i guess. or maybe cuz they're teachers. most kids when someone don't talk much they just wanna get away from that person. a lot of people are mean. some don't care. few are great friends. and i appreciate them being friends with me. and i really have weakness with gentlemen. guys that r kind always ..makes me happy to be around. and it hurts when they weren't around to make u smile or laugh anymore...idk..i guess that's it today. it's long. i don't think ppl will even bother to read this. that would be a good thing maybe. just typing it out makes me feel a little bit better. no need for anyone to know about it.

Death Note

Light Yagami is an ace student with great prospects--and he's bored out of his mind. But all that changes when he finds the Death Note, a notebook dropped by a rogue Shinigami death god. Any human whose name is written in the notebook dies, and Light has vowed to use power of the Death Note to rid the world of evil. But will Light's noble goal succeed, or will it turn in into the very thing he's fighting against?

Main Characters:

    Light Yagami                                     L                                       Ryuk

    Misa Amane                                Near                                   Mello

Manga

           Volume 1                                   Volume 2                            Volume 3

                    

                 

          Volume 7                                Volume 8                                Volume 9

            Volume 10                                  Volume 11                            Volume 12

There's also a movie. It only ends on manga volume 7.

  Matsuyama Kenichi      L

           Light Yagami      idk his name

              idk her name either  = (  but she plays misa ^_^

I made this cuz i was bored. bored out of my mind. and i think misa in the movie should have blonde hair X'-(

put the first letter of every word in your wish.or you secret emotion


example

Like "i wish i could get to know that girl at the rec center"

i w i c g t k t g a t r c


Or "i want pudding"

i w p

ok can anyone please help me think of what this could be?

i w c w m g f a d h t m

My Grab family

mom:: gunslingergal

dad:: sasuke12

annoying brother:: bulldog2006

brothers::

sisters:: me16, darkair_09

step brothers:: anime_hunter

step sisters:: khitti, iLuvKhitti

cousins:: Me_love_shane, haifa_auni

nephews::

niece:: Sierra500

husband::

sons::

daughters:: sarah_j

awesome buddies:: blondeicheerchik

tell me what you want to be in and i might put you there.oh and if i missed a family categorie please tell me.