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As I Mature!!!
Jun 20, 2009 | 11:31AM
Found this so I thought I'd share.
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Realism
Jun 05, 2009 | 12:10PM
The IRS sends their auditor (a nasty little man) to audit a synagogue. The auditor is doing all the checks, and then turns to the Rabbi and says, "I noticed that you buy a lot of candles."
"Yes," answered the Rabbi.
"Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?" he asked.
"A good question," noted the Rabbi.. "We actually save them up. When we have enough, we send them back to the candle maker and every now and then, they send us a free box of candles."
"Oh," replied the auditor somewhat disappointed that his question actually had a practical answer. So he thought he'd try another question, in his obnoxious way...
"Rabbi, what about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the crumbs from the matzo?
"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi calmly, "we actually collect up the crumbs, we send them in a box back to the manufacturer and every now and then, they send a box of matzo balls."
"Oh," replied the auditor, thinking hard how to fluster the Rabbi.
"Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the foreskins from the circumcisions?"
"Yes, here too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins, and when we have enough we actually send them to the IRS ."
"To the IRS ?" questioned the auditor in disbelief.
"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, "directly to The IRS ...And about once a year, they send us a little prick like you."
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Dear GOD!!!!!
Jun 05, 2009 | 12:05PM
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Dear God:
The lady reading this
is beautiful, classy and
strong, and I love
her.
Help her live her life to
the fullest.
Please promote her and
cause her to excel above her expectations.
Help her shine in the
darkest places where it is impossible to love.
Protect her at all
times, lift her up when she needs you the most,
and
let her know when she
walks with you,
She will always be
safe.
Love you Girl!!!!
Now you're on the
clock!!!!
In 9 minutes something
will make you happy. ;-)
But you have to tell 9
sisters you love them, including me. Go!!!!
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5 MINUTE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE
Jun 05, 2009 | 11:55AM
5 MINUTE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE
4 tablespoons flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
A small splash of vanilla extract
1 large coffee mug (Micro Safe)
Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly.
Pour in the milk and oil and mix well..
Add the chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla extract, and mix again.
Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts.
The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don't be alarmed!
Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate if desired.
EAT! (this can serve 2 if you want to feel slightly more virtuous).
And why is this the most dangerous cake recipe in the world?
Because now we are all only 5 minutes away from chocolate, cake at any time of the day or night!
Has anyone seen this before and have you tried it?
I'm going to give it a try.
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TWO TRAVELING ANGELS!!
Jun 05, 2009 | 11:37AM
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You've probably seen this before, but it's new to me and I wanted to share
with you my friends.
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Two traveling angels
Keep reading to the bottom of the page -- don't
stop at the feet (You'll see).
Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night
in the home of a wealthy family.
The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room.
Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement.
As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it.
When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied,
'Things aren't always what they seem.'
The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife.
After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest.
When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears.
Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.
The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could you have let this happen?
The first man had everything, yet you helped him, she accused.
The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die.
'Things aren't always what they seem,' the older angel replied.
'When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I
noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall.
Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it.'
'Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead.
Things aren't always what they seem.'
Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. You just might not know it until sometime later...
Oooo
Some people ( )
come into our lives ) /
and quickly go.. (_ /
oooO
( ) Some people
\ )become friends
(_ ) and stay awhile....
leaving beautiful Oooo
footprints on our ( )
hearts... ) /
( _/
oooO
( ) and we are
\ ( never
\_ ) quite the same
because we have
made a good
friend!!
Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That's why it's called the present!
I think this is special....live and savor every moment... This is not a dress rehearsal!
(\ /)
( \ __ / )
( \()/ )
( / \ ) TAKE THIS LITTLE ANGEL
( / \/ \ ) AND KEEP HER CLOSE TO YOU
/ \ SHE IS YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL
( ) SENT TO WATCH OVER YOU
____
THIS IS A SPECIAL GUARDIAN ANGEL..... YOU MUST
PASS THIS ON TO PEOPLE WITHIN THE HOUR OF
RECEIVING HER, AFTER YOU DO MAKE A WISH.....
IF YOU HAVE PASSED HER ON, YOUR WISH WILL
BE GRANTED AND SHE WILL WATCH OVER YOU FOREVER....
IF NOT, HER TEARS WILL FLOW AND NO WISHES
WILL BE GRANTED....
Now don't delete this message, because it comes from a very special angel.
Right Now -
-somebody is thinking of you.
-somebody is caring about you.
-somebody misses you
-somebody wants to talk to you.
-somebody wants to be with you.
-somebody hopes you aren't in trouble..
-somebody is thankful for the support you have provided.
-somebody wants to hold your hand.
-somebody hopes everything turns out all right.
-somebody wants you to be happy.
-somebody wants you to find him/her.
-somebody is celebrating your successes.
-somebody wants to give you a gift.
-somebody thinks that you ARE a gift.
-somebody loves you.
-somebody admires your strength.
-somebody is thinking of you and smiling.
-somebody wants to be your shoulder to cry on.
SOMEBODY NEEDS YOU TO SEND THIS TO THEM |
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159 YEARS AGO THIS WEEK! ! ! !
Apr 21, 2009 | 7:53AM
Good morning everyone, it's been awhile, I check out your blogs but I don't do much blogging for a lot of reasons the main reason if I use pictures they don't stay, oh well, I'll try once more. Have a wonderful week.
Do you know what happened this week back in 1850, 159 years ago?
California became a state
The State had no electricity.
The State had no money.
Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
There were gunfights in the streets.
So basically, it was just like it is today, except the women had real breasts and the men didn't hold hands.
THE LADY IS GETTING READY TO ENTER!!
This is a picture of a public toilet in Houston:
Now that you've seen the outside view,
take a look at the inside view......
It's made entirely of one-way glass!
No one can see you from the outside, but when
you are inside it's like sitting in a clear glass box!
Now would you... COULD YOU....???
BATHROOM PAINTED FLOOR!!!
IMAGINE YOU ARE AT A PARTY .
Tenth floor of a hi-rise building.....
AND THEN YOU HAVE TO VISIT THE BATHROOM....
You open the door...
NOW, REMEMBER THE FLOOR IS JUST A PAINTED FLOOR !
KINDA TAKES YOUR BREATH AWAY.....
DOESN'T IT?
Scroll sloooooooowly.
........
Would this mess up your mind??? Would you
be able to walk in To this bathroom???
THIS IS A CEILING MURAL IN A SMOKER'S LOUNGE.
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Comments Made in th Year 1955!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jan 21, 2009 | 6:40PM
Comments Made in the Year 1955! That's only 53 years ago!
'I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groce ries for $20.00.'
'Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2,000.00 will only buy a used one.'
'If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous.'
'Did you hear the post o ffice is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?'
'If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nob ody will be able to hire outside help at the store.'
'When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage.'
'Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls.'
'I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND, it seems every new movie has either HELL of DAMN in it.'
'I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas .'
'Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the President.'
'I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now.'
'It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet.'
'It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work.'
'Marriage doe sn't mean a thing any more, those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat.'
'I'm afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door t o a whole lot of foreign business.'
'Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress.'
'The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.'
'There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend, it costs nearly $15.00 a night to stay in a hotel.'
'No one can afford to be s ick anymore, at $35.00 a day in the hospital it's too rich for my blood.'
'If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it.'
If you know any friends who would get a kick out of these, pass this on!
Be sure and send it to your kids and grandkids
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Funny Stuff ! ! ! !
Jan 18, 2009 | 6:57AM
An old lady was standing at the rail of the cruise ship holding her hat so that
the wind wouldn't blow it away.
A gentleman approached her & said, 'Pardon me, madam, I do not intend to
be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this wind?'
'Yes, I know,' said the lady. 'But I need my hands to hold onto my hat.'
'But madam, he said, 'you must know that you're derriere is exposed!' \
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and said, 'Sir, anything
you see down there is 85 years old, but I just bought this hat!'
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Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!
Jan 01, 2009 | 10:01PM
Happy New Year to All my grab friends. Wishing you all good health in 2009.
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Happy Holiday to my grab friends.
Dec 23, 2008 | 12:57PM
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