Excuses, Excuses

Joyce Armor

I couldn’t do my homework.
I had asthma and was wheezing.
I had nosebleeds, measles, heat rash,
with some very painful sneezing,

and itchy skin with blisters—
oh so blotchy red and hivy—
malaria and toothaches,
and a patch of poison ivy,

eight spider bites and hair loss,
and a broken leg with scabies,
Rocky Mountain spotted fever,
and a full-blown case of rabies.

I suffered—it was awful—
but I’m feeling better now.
Could I have done my homework?
No, I really don’t see how.