Signs You've had too much of the 21st Century, Part II

15. Your daughter just bought a CD of all the records your College roommate used to play.

16. You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea.

17. You checked your blow-dryer to see if it was Y2K compliant.

18. Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail inbox asking you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.

19. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.

20. Every commercial on television has a web-site address at the bottom of the screen.

21. You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date and now sells for half the price you paid.

22. The concept of using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase is foreign to you.

23. Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.

24. You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.

25. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet.

26. You're reading this.

27. Even worse; you're going to forward it to someone else.

Police Quotes

"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."

"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

"Just how big were those two beers?