Poems,Pictures,and Jokes!

Old Lady!!! XXX

Wed, 10 Oct 2007 00:43:00 GMT

This is my last blog for awhile. I will still be checking out all your blogs and commenting. There will be times I won't be able to comment on blogs do to having appointments and other things I need to take care of.

You are all wonderful people.

I am honored to call all of you my dear friends. Thanks for being there when I needed someone. :-)

I thought I would post one more joke. LOL

One day an old lady went to the
doctors because she had an itch
in her crotch.

She told the doctor her problem
and he said,"You have the crabs".
She informed the doctor that it
could not be the crabs because
she was an eighty year old virgin.
She went to another doctor and
explained her problem
to him.
The doctor said,
"You probably have the crabs".
"No" she said, "I am an eighty year
old virgin."
Frustrated, she went to a third doctor.
She said,
"Doctor can you help me?
I have an itch in my crotch.
Don't tell me that it is the crabs
because I am an eighty year old virgin.
It can not be the crabs."
The doctor said,
Jump on the table and let's have a look."
"After examining, the doctor proclaimed,
"Ma'am, your right, you do not have the
crabs.
This cherry is sooooo old, you have
fruit flies."

26 comments

A Woman Knows Her Place!

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 06:08:00 GMT

A Woman Knows Her Place

Barbara Walters of Television's
20/20 did a story on gender role in
Kabul, Afghanistan, several years
before the Afghan conflict. She noted
that women customarily walked 5 paces
behind their husbands.

She recently returned to Kabul and
observed that women still walk
behind their husbands. From Ms.
Walter's vantage point, despite the
overthrow of the oppressive Taliban
regime, the women now seem to
walk even further back behind their
husbands and are happy to maintain
the old custom.

Ms. Walters approached one of the
Afghani women and asked, "Why
do you now seem happy with the old
custom that you once tried so
desperately to change?"

The woman looked Ms. Walters straight
in the eyes, and without
hesitation said, "Land Mines."

MORAL OF THE STORY:
BEHIND EVERY MAN IS A SMART WOMAN

11 comments

Redneck Weenie Contest! XXX

Sun, 07 Oct 2007 23:04:00 GMT

Three third graders from Alabama...an Irish
kid, an Italian kid and a Redneck kid are
on the playground at recess.
The Irish kid suggests that they play a new
game. "Let's see who has the largest weenie,"
he says.

"Okay." They all agree.

The Italian kid pulls down his zipper
and whips it out.

"That's nothing," says the Irish kid. He
whips his out and proudly shows that his
is at least an inch longer.

Not to be outdone, the Redneck kid whips
his out. It is by far not only the biggest,
but the fattest.

That night, eating dinner at home, the Redneck
kid's mother asks him what he did at school today.
"Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math
test, and read out loud from a new book...and
then during recess, my friends and I played a
new game called 'Let's see who has the largest
weenie."

"What kind of game is that, honey?" asks the mother.

"Well, me, Anthony and Patrick each pulled out our
weenies and I had the biggest! The other kids say
its because I'm a Redneck. Is that true, Momma?"

Mom replies, "No, Honey. It's because you're
twenty-one years old.

14 comments

Old!

Thu, 04 Oct 2007 22:51:00 GMT

Old. . .

Are you Over the Hill?

You may be headed that way if . . .

You and your teeth don't sleep together.

You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks
And discover you aren't wearing any.

At the breakfast table, you hear snap, crackle, pop
and you're not eating cereal.

Your back goes out, but you stay home.

You wake up looking like your driver's license photo.

It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

When happy hour is a nap.

When you're on vacation and your energy runs out
Before your money does.

When you say something to your kids that your mother said
to you and you always hated it.

When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.

When you step off the curb and look down one more time
to make sure the street is still there.

Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.

It takes longer to rest than it did to get
tired.

Your memory is shorter and your complaining
lasts longer.

Your address book has mostly names that
start with Dr.

You sit in a rocking chair and can't get
it going.

The pharmacist has become your new best
friend.

Getting "Lucky" means you found your car
in the parking lot.

The twinkle in your eye is merely a
reflection from the sun on your bifocals.

It takes twice as long - to look half as good.

Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt,
doesn't work.

You look for your glasses for half an hour
and they were On your head the whole time.

You sink your teeth into a steak - and they
stay there.

You give up all your bad habits and still
don't feel good.

You have more patience,
But it is actually that you just don't
care anymore.

You finally get your head together and your
body starts falling apart.

You wonder how you could be over the hill
when you don't even remember being on top of it.

16 comments

You Have a Deliverly!!! XXX

Tue, 02 Oct 2007 07:26:00 GMT

Ovarie's...

One ovarie says to the other ovarie, "Hey, did you order
any furniture?"

The other ovarie says, "No, why?"

"There's a couple of nuts outside trying to shove an
organ in."

19 comments

It's Finally Arrived!!!

Tue, 02 Oct 2007 07:21:00 GMT

Have a Wonderful Day, My Dear Friends

Hugs, Pat

14 comments