A RETIREE'S TRIP TO COSTCO   Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, and was in the    checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.    What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was  starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't,  because I wound up in a hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds  before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of  most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that  it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally  complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story).    Horrified, she asked if I was in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.    I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Costco won't let me shop there anymore..  Better watch what you ask retired people . They have all the time in the  world to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially) to all  your retired friends......it will be their Laugh for the day.