Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara
with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline
'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what
they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with
artificial flavor, and dish washing
liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all
your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the
slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored
cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle
for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black
box that is used on airplanes? Why
don't they make the whole plane out
of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments
when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is
Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call
the airport the terminal?

Directions A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse. He got out and knocked at the door. A very old woman answered the door, and he asked her for directions to Des Moines.

 

Door to Door

Well, I know what you're doing
I see it all too clear
I only taste the saline when I kiss away your tears
You really had me going, wishing on a star
But the black holes that surround you are heavier by far
I believed in your confusion, you were so completely torn
It must've been that yesterday was the day that I was born
There's not much to examine, there's nothing left to hide
You really can't be serious, if you have to ask me why
I say goodbye...

'Cause I am barely breathing
And I can't find the air
Don't know who I'm kidding
Imagining you care
And I could stand here waiting
A fool for another day
I don't suppose it's worth the price,
You're worth the price
The price that I would pay

Well everyone keeps asking, what's it all about?
I used to be so certain and I can't figure out
What is this attraction? I only feel the pain
There's nothing left to reason and only you to blame
Will it ever change?

'Cause I am barely breathing
And I can't find the air
Don't know who I'm kidding
Imagining you care
And I could stand here waiting
A fool for another day
I don't suppose it's worth the price,
You're worth the price
The price that I would pay
But I'm thinking it over anyway...
I’m thinking it over anyway...

Ooh...

I've come to find,
I may never know
Your changing mind
Is it friend or foe?

I rise above
Or sink below
With every time
You come and go
Please don't come and go

'Cause I am barely breathing
And I can't find the air
I don't know who I'm kidding
Imagining you care
And I could stand here waiting
A fool for another day
I don't suppose it's worth the price,
You're worth the price
The price that I would pay
But I'm thinking it over anyway...
I'm thinking it over anyway...

And I know what you’re doing
I see it all too clear...

1) Nothing to do

2) A sharp knife

3) A large lime

 4) A patient cat

5) Too much tequila

6) And it's football season?

You Get a Feline Football Player!

 

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http://tboneworld.com/images/t1cat_lime_helmet.jpg