An Irishman named O’Leary, who loved to sing as he worked, bought a mule to farm his garden.

The mule worked well but was almost totally deaf.

So, when his owner yelled, “Whoa!”, the animal often continued plowing.

Asked how the mule was working out, O’Leary shook his head.”There was a time,” he said, “when all the neighbors could hear was me singing my lilting melodies.

Lately, I’m afraid,they’ve heard nothing but my riled Irish whoa’s!”

Oy Vey!

This woman is visiting in Israel and notices that her little travel alarm needs a battery. She looks for a watch repair shop and while she doesn’t read Hebrew she finally sees a shop with clocks and watches in the window.

She goes in and hands the man her clock.

The man says, “Madam, I don’t repair clocks. I am a Mohel. I do circumcisions.”

She says, “Why all the clocks in the window?”

And he says, “And what should I have in my window?”

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Horse Shoe...or Shoe Horse???

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A man lost two buttons from his shirt and put them in his pants pocket. But the pocket had a hole, so the buttons fell into his shoe. Unfortunately, the shoe sole also had a hole, so he lost the buttons.

Since pockets with holes, holes without buttons, and shoe soles with holes are useless, the man ripped the buttonholes out of his shirt and the pocket from his pants and tossed them in the trash along with the soles of his shoes. After looking in a mirror at the holes in his clothing, he decided to toss his clothes in the trash as well.

A policeman observed all this and asked the man for identification. The man produced a document that he was an ordained minister of the gospel.

So, of course, the policeman promptly escorted him to a mental institution. The minister protested violently, asking why he was receiving such unjust treatment.

“Look, it’s the best place for you now,” the policeman replied. “Anyone claiming to be a preacher, but who doesn’t save souls or wear holy clothes has probably lost his buttons.”

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