tweetyc's Blog Last Post: 659 days, 6 hours ago   
LOL,VERY INTRESTING
Feb 02, 2008 | 7:31PM
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2008 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.


3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.


4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.


5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )


12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.


13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

AND NOW U R LAUGHING
at yourself.
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play along
Jan 25, 2008 | 2:09PM


Pick the number of the month you where born

> 1----I fell in love with
>2----I smacked
>3----I ate
>4----I sang to
>5----I gave my number to
>6----I murdered
>7----I shot
>8----I danced with
>9----I choked on
>10---I went out with
>11---I kissed
>12---I hugged
>


>Pick the day (number) you were born on:

>1-------A homeless guy
>2-------your mom
>3-------a banana
>4-------a fork
>5-------a mexican
>6-------a gangster
>7-------a ninja
>8-------an ipod
>9-------my best friend
>10-------a goat
>11-------my dog
>12-------my dad
>13-------the computer
>14-------a football player
>15-------my neighbor
>16-------myself
>17-------a soda
>18-------a llama
>19-------a pickle
>20-------a stuffed animal
>21-------a weirdo
>22-------a sock
> 23-------a tissue
>24-------my pshyciatrist
>25-------a policeman
>26-------my brother
>27-------my sister
>28-------a baseball bat
>29-------a dvd player
>30-------my best friends brother
>31-------my cell phone
>


>Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
>
>White------Because I was high.
>Black------- Because I was drunk.
>Brown------- Because your mom told me to.
> Pink-------- Because I'm retarded.
>Red--------- Because the voices told me to.
>Blue-------- Because Im hott and I do what I want.
>Green------Because I hate myself.
>Purple------ Because I'm stupid.
>Gray-------- Because that's how I roll.
>Yellow------ Because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars.
>Orange----Because I love my family.
>Other------- Because that's what I do.


now join the above and post ur sentence....
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drs visit.
Jan 21, 2008 | 8:20PM
I  went into my proctologist' s office for my first
rectal exam.

His new nurse, Miriam, took me to an examining
 room

And told me to get undressed and have a seat
Until the doctor could see me.

She said that he would only be a few minutes.



After putting on the gown that she gave me, I sat down.
While waiting, I observed that there were three items
On a stand next to the exam table:
A Tube of K-Y jelly, a rubber glove and a beer.


When the doctor finally came in I said,
"Look Doc, I'm a little confused. This is my first exam.

I know what the K-Y is for and I know what the glove is for,

But can you tell me what the BEER is for ?



At that Doctor Paul became noticeably outraged and stormed
Over to the door

He flung the door open and yelled to his nurse.......

Darn it Miriam !!!!!!!!!!!
I said a BUTT LIGHT ..... !!! 

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blonds year end review
Jan 15, 2008 | 12:20PM


January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....Helllloo oo!!!.... ...bottles won't fit in the printer!!!

March
Got really excited..... finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months..... box said "2 to 4 years!"

April
Trapped on escalator for hours ... the power went out!!!

May
Tried to make Kool-Aid.... .wrong instructions. ...8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June
Tried to go water skiing...... .couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition. ....learned later that the other swimmers cheated…they used their arms and hands!!!

August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm..... car swamped because soft-top was open.

September
The capital of California is "C".....helloooo! !!

October
Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

December
Couldn't call 9-11 . "duh".....there' s no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!
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friendship
Jan 11, 2008 | 11:51AM

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another year has past...
Jan 09, 2008 | 6:40PM



















 



Another year has passed


And we're all a little older.

   Last summer felt hotter

  And winter seems much colder.


I rack my brain for happy thoughts,

  To put down on my pad,

  But lots of things,

  That come to mind

  Just make me kind of sad.

 

There was a time not long ago

  When life was quite a blast.

Now I fully understand

  About "Living in the Past".

 

  We used to go to friends homes,

  Baseball games and lunches.

  Now we go to therapy, to hospitals,

  And after-funeral brunches.

 

  We used to have hangovers,

  From parties that were gay.  

     Now we suffer body aches

  And sleep the night away.

 

  We used to go out dining,

  And couldn't get our fill.

  Now we ask for doggie bags,

  Come home and take a pill.

 

We used to travel often

To places near and far.

  Now we get backaches

  From riding in the car.

 

 We used to go out shopping

  For new clothing at the Mall

  But, now we never bother...

  All the sizes are too small.

 

  That, my friend is how life is,

  And now my tale is told.

  So, enjoy each day and live it up...

Before you're too damn old!!


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corn flakes
Jan 08, 2008 | 7:39AM

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Mr.January
Jan 07, 2008 | 5:52PM

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lonely dog
Jan 04, 2008 | 12:35PM
 

Lonely Dog

 

Once I was a lonely dog,
Just looking for a home.
I had no place to go,
No one to call my own.


I wandered up and down the streets

In rain, in heat and snow.
I ate what ever I could find,
I was always on the go.


My skin would itch, my feet were sore,
My body ached with pain.
And no one stopped to give a pat
Or to gently say my name.


I never saw a loving glance,
I was always on the run.
For people thought

That hurting me was really lots of fun.


And then one day I heard a voice
So gentle, kind and sweet,
And arms so soft reached down to me,
And took me off my feet.


No one again will hurt you,
Was whispered in my ear.
You'll have a home to call your own,

Where you will know no fear.


You will be dry, you will be warm,

You'll have enough to eat
And rest assured that when you sleep,

Your dreams will all be sweet.


I was afraid I must admit,
I've lived so long in fear.
I can't remember when    

I let a human come so near.


And as she tended to my wounds
And bathed and brushed my fur
She told me 'bout the rescu e group
And what it meant to her.



She said, We are a circle,
A line that never ends.
And in the center there is you
protected by new friends.

 

And all around you are the ones

That check the pounds,
And those that share their home

After you've been found.



And all the other folk,

Are searching near and far,
To find the perfect home for you,

Where you can be a star.


She said, There is a family,

That's waiting patiently,
and pretty soon we'll find them

Just you wait and see.


And then they'll join our circle

They'll help to make it grow,
so there will be room for more like you,

Who have no place to go.


I waited very patiently,

The days they came and went.
Today's the day I thought,

My family will be sent.


Then just when I began to think
It wasn't meant to be,
there were people standing there

Just gazing down at me.


I knew them in a heart beat,
I could tell they felt it too.
They said, "We have been waiting

For a special dog like you."


Now every night I say a prayer,

To all the Gods that be.
Thank you for the life I live

And all you've given me.


But most of all protect the dogs

In the pound and on the street.

And send them a rescue person,

To lift them off their feet.

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good morning.
Jan 04, 2008 | 5:39AM

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good day everyone
Jan 03, 2008 | 8:56AM

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what is your resolution??lol
Jan 02, 2008 | 5:41AM

*I will try to figure out why I "really" need 12 e-mail addresses.

*I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband). A phone call every now and then would be appreciated.

*I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.

*I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.

*I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.

*I resolve to back up my 120GB hard drive daily...well, once a week...okay, monthly then...or maybe... At least once a year.

*I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet - This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.

*I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical since my friends overseas already had time to answer me by then.

*When I hear a funny joke, I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"

*I will read the manual... Just as soon as I can find it.

*I will think of a password other than "password."

*I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, ER... I resolve to, uh, get my, ER, off-line work done, too!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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funny
Dec 25, 2007 | 4:56AM
 
An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.

Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.


In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.

A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.

As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his (laughter), and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, 'What the heck is going on here?'

The drunk, still staring down replied: 'I think I just beat the [censored] out of a ghost.'
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