Sam died. His will provided $50,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last attendees left,

  Sam's wife Rose turned to her oldest friend Sadie and said, "Well, I'm sure Sam would be pleased."

" I'm sure you're right," replied Sadie, who leaned in close and  lowered

her voice to a whisper. "Tell me, how much did it really cost ?"

  "All of it," said Rose. "Fifty thousand."

No!" Sadie exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but really... $50,000 ?

  Rose nodded. "The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the shul for  the Rabbi's services .

  The shiva food and drinks were another $500.  The rest went for the memorial stone ."

 Sadie computed quick ly. " $42,500 for a memorial stone? Oy, vey! How big is it ?"

" Five and a half carats ."

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 this is a quote from a character on my favorite soap opera

this was just on today.

a very deep thought

JUST BECAUSE YOU SEE ME LOGGED IN  TO GRAB ALL DAY LONG, DON'T ASSUME THAT I"M HERE ALL DAY LONG

I, & MANY OTHERS, WILL LOG IN, & STAY LOGGED IN.........

I, PERSONALLY, WILL LOG IN TO GRAB, & OTHER SITES, THEN GO ON ABOUT MY DAILY ROUTINE

HOW DARE YOU ASSUME THAT I HAVE NO  LIFE.

FOR SOME PEOPLE , THIS IS THEIR LIFE.......THEY COME HERE, FOR HOWEVER LONG THEY WISH, TO ESCAPE THE CONSTANT PAIN THAT PLAGUES THEM ON A DAILY BASIS; NOT TO BE PUT DOWN, HARASSED, OR OTHERWISE MADE TO FEEL LIKE THEY ARE BENEATH YOUR STATION.......HOW DARE YOU ASSUME SUCH A THING

IF I HAVE NO LIFE, WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT YOU.......IF YOU SAY I AM ON ALL DAY LONG...............................

I WILL DO AS I WISH, WHEN I WISH, FOR HOWEVER LONG I WISH

AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY COMPUTER HABITS., YOU CAN PUCKER UP, & KISS ME WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE

IF ANYONE ELSE FEELS LIKE THIS,,,,,,,,,,,,PUT THIS LINK IN  A BULLETIN, & PASS IT AROUND GRAB

MAYBE SOME PEOPLE WILL GET THE HINT......THAT WE ARE THEIR EQUALS, NOT THEIR SUBORDINATES

I may never see tomorrow

There's no written guarantee

And things that happened yesterday

Belong to history.

I cannot predict the future

I cannot change the past

I have just the present moment

I must treat it as my last.

I must use the moment wisely

For it soon will pass away

And be lost to me forever

As part of yesterday.

I must exercise compassion

Help the fallen to their feet

Be a friend unto the friendless

Make an empty life complete.

The unkind things I do today

May never be undone.

Any friendships that I fail to win

May nevermore be won.

I may not have another chance

On bended knee to pray,

And I thank God with humble heart

For giving me this day.

-- Author Unknown





this poem was taken from the inspiration board

ANNOUNCING:

A FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION
within reason
PARTY

post pix expressing who the real you is
no real names need be mentioned

winner will be announced Saturday night
contest runs until 6pm, 5/2
winner will have choice of tourney
(grabbles to be determined)

If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.  

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana .

He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 FM in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.  

Hi Sue,  

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.  

Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling 
down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all .  

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a  few technicalities of my job.  

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. 

So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.  

It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is 
taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and  
I've used it several times with no complaints.  

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.  

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to  
itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.  
With in a few seconds my butt started to burn .. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what  
had happened.  

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.  Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish  
couldn't stick to it.  However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding 
the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.  

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.  

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three  
agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass  
helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of 
laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.  

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.  

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. 

Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'  

Someone out there either has too much
spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!
----------------------------------------
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
----------------------------------------
 PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
----------------------------------------
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
----------------------------------------
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
----------------------------------------
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
----------------------------------------
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
----------------------------------------
THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
----------------------------------------
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
----------------------------------------
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
----------------------------------------
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
----------------------------------------
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
----------------------------------------
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE
----------------------------------------
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
----------------------------------------
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
----------------------------------------
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
----------------------------------------
Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay

too much time on their hands!

(Probably a son-in-law)