http://www.breitbart.tv/?p=158353

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

'Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply it.  If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.  If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.  If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.

If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.  She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.  So - if you give her any crap, you will receive a ton of [censored].  Beware.'  
           –Unknown- 

EAST COAST VS WEST COAST

Drag racing has entirely different concepts, depending on where you are. The east coast vs. The west coast, for instance, finds entirely different styles

Drag racing in New York:

PICTURE WON'T DOWNLOAD - JUST IMAGINE TWO CARS ON THE STREET READY TO DRAG.

Drag racing in San Francisco:

HI GRAB BUDDIES, A QUICK BLOG OF MY NEW PUPPY QUINCY.  IN FIVE DAYS HE WILL BE 6MONTHS OLD.  HE HAS GRADUATED PUPPY OBEDIENCE TRAINING AND IS NOW ACTIVE IN INTERMEDIATE TRAINING.  HE IS  FANATIC ABOUT WATER, INTELLIGENT, CURIOUS AND BEAUTIFUL!!!  SEE FOR YOURSELF!  HOPE EVERYONE IS DOING WELL AND PREPARING FOR COOLER TEMPERATURES. 

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University.

 On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.

 He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.  Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing.

 The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

 Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

 The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed his stupid ass against the railing, killing him instantly. Probably wasn't the same elephant.

I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the Super Wal-Mart

Shopping Center and rolled down the car windows to make sure

my Labrador Retriever Pup had fresh air. She was stretched

full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that

she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing

my finger at the car and saying emphatically,

 "Now you stay. Do you hear me?" "Stay, stay!"

 The driver of a nearby car, a pretty blonde young lady, gave me

a strange look and said...................

"Why don't you just put it in park?"

An elderly man in Roseburg had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up really nice, along with some picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. When he came closer, he realized it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end to shield themselves. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned and replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."  Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

Moral of the story: Old men may move slow but can still think fast.